Should I or shouldn't I?

uzzybuzzy · May 26, 2009, 11:21am

Yeah. I guess all the council house chavs were not used to living near a Pakistani family.

Khubsoorat_Collection · May 26, 2009, 11:24am

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

wow thats terirble UB! hope they are happy in their new home now.

pyaare · May 26, 2009, 11:34am

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

notorious you really need to make amends with your family, for your kids sake..u need to show them a positive side to life..you may live in a rotten are, but please try and move away for your kids sake and keep in touch with your dad and brother, maybe a male presence will keep the idiots away and scare them off....tell your dad to keep coming and going, don't give your neighbours the satisfaction of acknowledging them...and install a cctv camera...even a dummy one would work

notorious · May 26, 2009, 12:03pm

I just called my mother to ask about our home in Pakistan. I've decided to move to Pakistan. Our home in Kotli has a normal toilet and bathroom. Nowadays there are many shops in Kotli where they sell most things you need. There seems to be internet connection possible.

I was assured that if I go there, my negative family members won't make any trouble so life should be better. I will miss many things from Holland. But at least nobody will throw eggs and apples at my home there, and the neighbours there are friendly and nice. I have many cousins and nieces and nephews there. My parents come there every year, at least my mother mostly does. I will come to Holland to visit my parents here. Nobody will harass my children en try to start fights with me. I'm going to teach, at least, my mother says I could get a job there easily. She said I should think about it really carefully. But I've already decided to do it.

I'm already crying, thinking about the things I'm going to miss.

notorious · May 26, 2009, 12:08pm

This is the only picture I could take of the person who says he saw the kids who threw the eggs running away:

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/notorious-albums-my-photos-through-years-picture5118-047.jpg

He just became angry when I asked him to testify for me! He wouldn’t tell me his name, he was angry when I took his picture as evidence that he saw those kids throwing eggs at my home. Would the police believe me if I told them this person saw those kids throwing eggs at my home? What if he later denies having seen them?

I think those children really do have permission to do this to me. They are encouraged to do this.

Mamaof3 · May 26, 2009, 12:09pm

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

Very sad situation Notorious. And unfair in the extreme. Maybe one more thing to try would be to contact a local newspaper or news station and tell them of the blatant discrimination and harrassment thats going on - with the permission of the parents and the local police. I bet things will turn around then.

flyinkiwi · May 26, 2009, 12:23pm

Sorry to hear your situation sis. Why dont you get the local press involved, explain to them how helpful you local cops have been........its works wonders to their process.

notorious · May 26, 2009, 12:35pm

I didn't think about that. It seemed very reliable when I read about it.

notorious · May 26, 2009, 12:38pm

They threw stones at your house?! That's even worse than eggs and apples!

I'm happy for you that everything turned out oké in the end.

notorious · May 26, 2009, 12:39pm

Chipkali:

O..M..G! What is this world coming to Your neighbourhood seems to be full of a bunch of sh!theads, that are refusing to witness anything!

We are also having problems with our neighbours who also happen to be a bunch of kids, so I understand how tough it is for you. However what we face is nothing compared to what you and your kids are going through. No matter what, you should NOT have to put up with this!? HOW can they get away with it? When we would initially complain about our neighbours (who also would throw eggs, mud and rubbish in our back garden), we found that the police wouldn’t do anything.. because firstly they were under-age and also, they only had our word for it. So we had to gather evidence, and whenever any of them would be about to throw something in our garden, we would video it! When we showed that to the police, they decided some action had to be taken against them. We’ve just been told they’re about to move the family out of the neighbourhood very “soon”.

So yeah, think about getting a camera installed outside your home, or just film everything yourself. Please take care of yourself and your kids.. don’t go out alone or anything.

It’ll be fine, i’A

Thanks and I’m glad everything worked out oké for you.

Chipkali · May 26, 2009, 3:54pm

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

notorious: I'm just glad your moving AWAY from those sick people. I can't even begin to imagine how your kids must feel, how old are they? Just get away as soon as you can, I think that may be the only solution, seeing as the whole damn neighbourhood seems to be against you. May Allah keep you and your kids in His protection.

Khubsoorat_Collection · May 26, 2009, 4:22pm

notorious:

I just called my mother to ask about our home in Pakistan. I've decided to move to Pakistan. Our home in Kotli has a normal toilet and bathroom. Nowadays there are many shops in Kotli where they sell most things you need. There seems to be internet connection possible.

I was assured that if I go there, my negative family members won't make any trouble so life should be better. I will miss many things from Holland. But at least nobody will throw eggs and apples at my home there, and the neighbours there are friendly and nice. I have many cousins and nieces and nephews there. My parents come there every year, at least my mother mostly does. I will come to Holland to visit my parents here. Nobody will harass my children en try to start fights with me. I'm going to teach, at least, my mother says I could get a job there easily. She said I should think about it really carefully. But I've already decided to do it.

I'm already crying, thinking about the things I'm going to miss.

woah! moving to pakistan is a really big step. okay so you will be safer than where you are now...but if your parents are living in holland already, then why dont you move in with them?

who will you live with in pakistan?

redvelvet · May 26, 2009, 5:43pm

That’s why I told you to find a witness ( a trusted and caring family member or friend). Surely you must have a friend that you can explain the situation to and who will testify if needed. Try to find such a person. Showing such a photo will do nothing. You know why? Because he just looks like a random stranger pointing at something on a random street…nothing special. Get pictures of the kids who are doing this damage. Get pictures of them in the act of doing the damage.

1) If you can’t find a trusted person who will act as witness, then take photographs and go to the police.

2) The other suggestion that I have is find the contact number of your local social services and complain to them that this abuse has been going on for a long time, and that you FEAR for the safety of your children, and that the police has been apathetic. Once they social services hears that the police has been apathetic and the parents of these children are doing nothing…they’ll take the steps to help you.

3) You’re moving to Pakistan??? Please reconsider this. The conditions in Pakistan are not that great and it’s hard to find a job there due to the economy. How will you be able to support your children. If your kids have grown up in the West and if they’ve gotten used to it…it will tough for them to adjust to life in Pakistan. You can ask the Social Services agency to help find you a more peaceful and affordable neighborhood. Please act fast, your kids don’t need this stress. Keep on the look out for photo opportunities. And pay a visit (instead of phone call) to social services.

amir_pindi · May 26, 2009, 6:57pm

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

Id call the A-team on them

O r rather one Red.Velvet may be enough

Rockkker · May 26, 2009, 7:29pm

Unfortunately its not...

Kinzz · May 26, 2009, 7:55pm

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

Sister i will pray for u and your kids ...ALLAH apko aur apke bacho ko apni hifzo aman mai rakhe ameen..

notorious · May 26, 2009, 9:02pm

Thanks for your advice everyone.

I just talked to my parents about it and gave it some more thought. I'm not moving right now to Pakistan. It's been something I want to do some day, I always thought I would live there after my children are adults and don't need me anymore, then they could stay here if they like and I could go and live in Pakistan, earning my living by teaching. But because of the problems, I today thought, why not leave right away?

But my Dad also said, perhaps it's better to take my children for a few weeks, this year or next year, see if they like it. Then we talked about everything and the best solution we came up with, is to let my son go with my Dad and my brothers to the market. He will learn to sell cloth with them and he will be able to play there as well and have fun. He will be amongst other Pakistanis and it will be fun for him. He won't have to stay inside all the time then on his own. There he will have a nice time with other people and learn something as well. So from now on, every Saturday and during holidays my son will be going with his grandfather and his mamoo to the market. It should make him feel better about himself, give him confidence again and he will be happy insha Allah.

Taking pictures while those kids are throwing eggs and apples is difficult, because then I would have to look outside all day long, while I have to do cleaning in my home and I want to read my books. Those children made a lot of noise Saturday when they were throwing those eggs and apples. But now they silently throw something and run away. They threw one or two eggs before as well, I had noticed them on my balcony, but from the look of it, they had been on my balcony for more than one day. It's difficult to catch the kids who do that. I hope the police will believe me when I tell them what those kids did.

redvelvet · May 26, 2009, 9:15pm

notorious:

Thanks for your advice everyone.

I just talked to my parents about it and gave it some more thought. I'm not moving right now to Pakistan. It's been something I want to do some day, I always thought I would live there after my children are adults and don't need me anymore, then they could stay here if they like and I could go and live in Pakistan, earning my living by teaching. But because of the problems, I today thought, why not leave right away?

But my Dad also said, perhaps it's better to take my children for a few weeks, this year or next year, see if they like it. Then we talked about everything and the best solution we came up with, is to let my son go with my Dad and my brothers to the market. He will learn to sell cloth with them and he will be able to play there as well and have fun. He will be amongst other Pakistanis and it will be fun for him. He won't have to stay inside all the time then on his own. There he will have a nice time with other people and learn something as well. So from now on, every Saturday and during holidays my son will be going with his grandfather and his mamoo to the market. It should make him feel better about himself, give him confidence again and he will be happy insha Allah.

Taking pictures while those kids are throwing eggs and apples is difficult, because then I would have to look outside all day long, while I have to do cleaning in my home and I want to read my books. Those children made a lot of noise Saturday when they were throwing those eggs and apples. But now they silently throw something and run away. They threw one or two eggs before as well, I had noticed them on my balcony, but from the look of it, they had been on my balcony for more than one day. It's difficult to catch the kids who do that. I hope the police will believe me when I tell them what those kids did.

Can your parents at least act as witnesses when you report to the police? Or try social services if the police isn't helpful. Social services might even help you find a better safer neighborhood. If you think you are better able to financially support your children in this country .......as opposed to Pakistan..........then consider staying here (just find a better neighborhood, it can be done). And later on at some point in life, you can go to Pakistan if that's what you wish. I just think that such a move at this point (also considering conditions in Pak/the economy).....would be drastic.

redvelvet · May 26, 2009, 9:52pm

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

Notorious,

Summer vacation will be starting in a few weeks, so your children will not have to deal with school. With exams being over and no more homework, the summer holidays would be the best time to look for a new place.

alvena · May 27, 2009, 1:31am

Re: Should I or shouldn't I?

Btw you cant just take a picture of a person without his permission no womder he is angry!

How long have you lived in holland? did you like in pakistan before?

I have family friends in holland and they absolutely love it....:S

Maybe you should save money and move into a new neighbourhood, as the place where you live sounds like a not so good neighbourhood?

While you are in holland, can i just suggest that you and especially your children see someone who you can talk to about your emotions and feelings because it must be very very emotionally draining? how is your mood and how are you feeling emotionally?

How about contacting some charities? there are lots here in the uk related to finding better homes and children welfare and violent abuse so there must be some in holland?

Personally i think that pakistan will have other problems so think carefully, be the bigger person and dont run away from the bullies dont show you care ignore them, work hard and save money and move away and make a better life for yourself.

People pick on other people when they know they can, when they get a reaction when someone seems the most vunerable. Bullies are cowards.

JUst keep your head high, pray and work to get away from the neighbourhood. DOnt leave a country you like otherwise because of some idiots.