Re: Should I go with him?
A little late, but I'll echo Psyah, stay away from the prozac if you can help it.
Stay strong.
Re: Should I go with him?
Go on the trip. You guys may have had a tiff....but he's not mad to the point....that he doesn't want to spend time with his wife and kids away from home. How often do people go on trips? You have so many responsibilities (work, school, etc) that get in the way. And a change of scenery can be refreshing for both you guys and the kids. Sometimes a lack of change/routine....can worsent the resentment. A new surrounding can even put things in perspective and help you move on.
But to each his own. Some people might think that they need to clear the air before going on a trip....so that they can enjoy it better. If you're like that, Hareem, then sort out the resentment toward your husband through a constructive discussion.....and then experience the trip with greater peace of mind.
Either way.....go on the trip.
Re: Should I go with him?
hareem, what are your specialties? i mean what are you good at? you dont need degrees to prove a point that you are independent. neither you need money or a job to prove it. Money and job will bring monotonous to your life and if your a free-spirited then you will also leave them in no time.
Key to Independence is survival. if you learn to survive in every type of environment with a smile then you are independent.
my strong suggestion will be find a focus that really really interests you and devote yourself to it. if you need any help buzz me.
Re: Should I go with him?
Hareem, first of all, I admire you to have identified a problem.
Second, even in your anger, your love for your husband is very clear....no matter how much you try to hide it! We all have arguments with our spouses and at that time it seems like all hell has broken loose and that we can never love them the same way again. But later when the dust settles, you realize how petty most situations are and the anger is not because of an issue but because of our own little egos.
Having said that, I think you should feel proud that at 30, you have given your lovely children the best possible care, education and love. Do you realize what an accomplishment that is? We've all seen your blogs and read about how much quality time you spend with your children on a daily basis, year after year...do you think that is any less of an accomplishment? What would your children do without you? Pysah bhai is right. You don't need an antidepressant, you need to declutter your mind from thoughts of self pity and disillusionment. You need to feel a self worth.
Here's a couple of suggestions. You need to find something other than what you're doing already to help you feel important. What I did was start teaching at an afterschool program at the masjid. That helps me feel like I'm doing my own thing, helps me feel productive, hepls me realize my potential, and keeps me in touch with my religion. Also, find good association with like minded people. And finally, appreciate the blessings you have in your life...a loving husband, lovely children, good health, abundance of food and basic necessities, a lovely home....
May ALlah keep you and your family in his protection! And yes, go to Birmingham.
Re: Should I go with him?
Birmingham's a dump, don't bother going there, let him go and book yourself a weekend of pampering at a spa instead.
Re: Should I go with him?
Sister Niksik ... I am hoping to get around to setting up a website for organising trips for homeschoolers in our locality. When I get it set up then I'm hoping hareem01 will want to administer it and then she will have plenty of likeminded people to organise trips with ... inshaAllah. In fact part of the idea of setting up her blogger site was to achieve this end ... but it is a slow process like anything worthwhile is.
Re: Should I go with him?
Reading the thread, I see what the solution is. Psyah bhai, you need to take the kiddies out for icecream every day for about 2 hours. Hareem, you need to give yourself a pedicure/manicure/something silly and absolutely tremendously girly during those 2 hours while Psyah bhai takes the kids away.
:roman:
Re: Should I go with him?
^^ That would be awesome. Hareem wil do a fantastic job!
Re: Should I go with him?
Birmingham's a dump, don't bother going there, let him go and book yourself a weekend of pampering at a spa instead.
LOL ... I bought hareem01 a pampering session from Virgin and she has it kept away until she is comfortable to use it. But in order to use it I have to be free to take care of the kids ... Do you see the dilemma of her trying to do things by herself?
Re: Should I go with him?
Trust me, this really does help…we all need a little alone time even if it’s a few minutes or an hour.
Re: Should I go with him?
thanks Niksik, Zobia nand redvelvet.
I need to carefully read and understand what you all have said. I’m sorry I just had to say it all to SOMEONE who won’t dismiss my concerns, it’s just that I’ve notice my husband becomes a bit emotional when I start talking about myself and starts blaming me for everything so I was just frustrated and needed opinions from others, I obviously can’t involve my inlaws or family becuase then it’ll just go out of control. So thank you again for what you wrote above for me.
I’m not 30 yet btw. I have 3 years left to hit 30. 
Re: Should I go with him?
Yess come to Birmingham :)
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Dude, im 2 years older than you and I dont have 95% of what you have! Be greatful lass!
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Not 30 yet, and you’ve done so much already!!! And you’re wondering if you’re worth anything at all? I want to come down to where you’re at and give you a thappar 
for thinking like this about yourself!
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I think I’m gonna cry after reading this.
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Re: Should I go with him?
awwww hareem 
i dont know what is it thats bothering you but i guess u should go and try not to stress over things that happened between you two…as i dont know the intensity so i cannot suggest something but i would say that just be formal and go along…try to enjoy there with your kids… the new place and environment might make you feel better!
Re: Should I go with him?
First of all pleaaassssssssseee stop thinking too much!its upon Allah to decide about ur aimaan…but if you want to do something, go for some constructive activity rather than just thinking the rubbish…its only Allah’s zikr that will give you peace of mind. Why not join a course on tafseer-e-Quran?or you can get hold of some CDs on tafheem-e-Quran. Browse this link below, im sure that it will help you 
http://wp.farhathashmi.com/
I hope you feel better :hugz:
Re: Should I go with him?
GOOOOOOOOOOO. punish him with being more angry and ruin his trip :k: good revenge 
Re: Should I go with him?
Hareeeeem you are 4 years younger to me yayyyy I can danto you sunao you as it may please me.
Hareem 