My husband is not with me he is abroad for his studies ... as husband wife we donot have issue .... but there are problems from my mil and some property issues which started among my mil n hubby and involved me also at the end... Anyways
we happen to talk to eachother over skype everyday ... the other day my husband shouted at me very badly ... he knows i havent done anything wrong but bcz my mil is not happy from me and my hubby wants me to make her happy in any way he was very hyper on me ....** i miss carried last month** and he says u see tum ne meri ma ka dil dukhaya hy (which actually was his and his mothers issues which started i wasnt in there) so ab **tumhy uski saza mili hy
i was so shocked on this
**i begged him dat dnt fight with me i am not in good health i cant take it anymore but he replied meri taraf se murr jao tum
this sentence was more than enuff for me and i dnt want to talk to him any more ... i dnt know other husbands out there say like that or not but for me it is first time and i am not able to handle it
what should i do?
I am sorry to hear this. This is a horrible horrible man. Being a man myself, I am NOT sure why some guys are huge assholes to their wives...especially after you miscarriage. I do not have any solutions for you, just sympathy.
that is if you are telling both sides of the issue.
SO he has talked to me but has not apologized just said leave everything that has happened ... so its going normal just normal talks but there is still tension on both the sides
I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that. Was it an arranged marriage or a love marriage? Either way....did you not see any warning signs in him or his mom before agreeing to marry him?
If you want to be with him......then don't pressure him to apologize. If he says to forget about everything that has happened....then I guess treat it that way. Don't bring it up with him.....and I'm hoping that the tension between you two will go away....and that when you move in with him the relationship can be strengthened. That's what I hope for you.....but I know it's hard for people (in this case your husband and MIL) to change.
I've heard WORSE stories thanwhat you're going through......but still your husband and MIL make me sick. Pathetic, insecure, and senseless people.
i personally feels that when you are facin situation like this,the others may advise you easily coz to bear is like hell n to advise is v much easy so i think n i wish that every one 'll condole you with words...now turning to your problem i wud say just have patience n be v polite n lovin to your mil n inshallah a time 'll come when she'll b your slave by heart coz Allah loves the patience..secondly try to look at those ppl who are facin more misery than you tu apko apna dukh bohat chota lage ga...May Allah bless you :)
SO he has talked to me but has not apologized just said leave everything that has happened ... so its going normal just normal talks but there is still tension on both the sides
Well I am doing what my mum suggested and I feel its helping. Recite "yaa wadoodo" a lot and especially when you had an argument with MIL or/and hubby.
And I also told him he cant come close to me (physically) until he learns to respect me first.
Do you have any family in Germany? Because you have to keep in mind that your hubby will be the only person you can talk/turn to for a while, if not. German is a difficult language and you wont find many who speak English. And you wont find many desis there. I know a lot of people who felt/feel depressed/alone after moving to Germany (from Pakistan). And if your husband doesn't change what will you do?Who is going to help you trough that phase?
My husband is not with me he is abroad for his studies ... as husband wife we donot have issue .... but there are problems from my mil and some property issues which started among my mil n hubby and involved me also at the end... Anyways
we happen to talk to eachother over skype everyday ... the other day my husband shouted at me very badly ... he knows i havent done anything wrong but bcz my mil is not happy from me and my hubby wants me to make her happy in any way he was very hyper on me .... i miss carried last month and he says u see tum ne meri ma ka dil dukhaya hy (which actually was his and his mothers issues which started i wasnt in there) so ab tumhy uski saza mili hy
i was so shocked on this
i begged him dat dnt fight with me i am not in good health i cant take it anymore but he replied meri taraf se murr jao tum
this sentence was more than enuff for me and i dnt want to talk to him any more ... i dnt know other husbands out there say like that or not but for me it is first time and i am not able to handle it
what should i do?
that is such a child-like behaviour from your husband, hope he is not a high school student abroad :)......... but he is your husband and you should start talking with him again.
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I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that. Was it an arranged marriage or a love marriage? Either way....did you not see any warning signs in him or his mom before agreeing to marry him?
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it was arrange ... i never wanted to marry him but for my parents i did .... in past there are ppl in his near family who have broke up their marriages in one of which my mil was also involved so i fear for mine as well
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Recite "yaa wadoodo" a lot and especially when you had an argument with MIL or/and hubby.
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i have been reciting this since the last 1.5 years after every farz namaaz
you never wanted to marry him but you did for your parents
are you gonna live with him for the rest of your life or them?
it was arrange ... i never wanted to marry him but for my parents i did .... in past there are ppl in his near family who have broke up their marriages in one of which my mil was also involved so i fear for mine as well
i have been reciting this since the last 1.5 years after every farz namaaz