Should i forget and talk to him?

Lifestyle Relationships
101

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

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I do not understand why didn't she ask you to live with her?
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she always says that she wants me to go there asap .... but since last year it was not possible acc to german visa laws my husband has applied his extension so as soon as he will get his extension in visa he was gonna apply for me ... the decision has to come in sept

102

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Oh why do MILs and DILs try to compete for this one guy?! You both have such different relationships to that one guy!

Who doesn't love their Mum more? Stop competing with your MIL. Be grateful your Hubby loves his Mum - there are guys out that who are so nasty to their mothers its disgusting. I'd rather have a mommy's boy than a guy who is rude to his Mother.

103

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

chalo thora sabr karlo, Germany ja kar sab set ho jaye ga.

104

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

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Oh why do MILs and DILs try to compete for this one guy?! You both have such different relationships to that one guy!

Who doesn't love their Mum more? Stop competing with your MIL. Be grateful your Hubby loves his Mum - there are guys out that who are so nasty to their mothers its disgusting. I'd rather have a mommy's boy than a guy who is rude to his Mother.
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you have got me completely wrong please read my past posts

105

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

I read your posts esp' this one. You feel you have to compete with your MIL...this is what your post implies to me.

106

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Like I said your MIL has just made it an ego issue. She doesn't want to break your marriage or anything. Has your MIL talked to you directly about your jewellery or was it said through your hubby?

107

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

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I read your posts esp' this one. You feel you have to compete with your MIL...this is what your post implies to me.
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what i actually mean is whether he will leave me in future if his mother says him to do that or may be my love is stronger enuff for my survival

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Like I said your MIL has just made it an ego issue. She doesn't want to break your marriage or anything. Has your MIL talked to you directly about your jewellery or was it said through your hubby?
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yes its kind of ego issue but her intentions are not good thats what every other person notices not only me
first she said that to me pyar se but now only my husband says that not she directly

108

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

I agree with Iyla here. It's true you might not be really competing or thinking like that. But subconsciously I think that you do fear competition or indirectly are trying to judge whom does your husband love more. This won't make things better.
One can never stop loving their mother.
IMO a girl should try her best not to get to the situation where her husband has to decide b/w either of the two. In this case he is the only son. You yourself said that she has sympathies because of that.

Just put yourself in your husband's shoes. Can you afford to break ties with your mother or even just hurt her?

You are his wife. You have a completely different place in his heart. His mother has her own. Don't let this who gets over who screw everything up...IF you want to make this marriage work!

109

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Other than this jewellery issue, has anything else happened to make you or your family suspect of her intentions?

110

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

i donot have mother i was very young when i lost her .... his mother is more a mother to me aswell .... i literary take care of her what she likes and what she dislikes never dis respect her apart from whatevr she pretend to be .... i have not mentioned a single bad thing she did or said to me bcz all MILS do that little things that need to be ignored ... but she is trying to make an issue of this thing .... when i say i will not keep it with me i will give it to her when ill be going then why to make issue and why to poison his mind by repeating that topic

111

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

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Other than this jewellery issue, has anything else happened to make you or your family suspect of her intentions?
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there are lots of events and things happened which i dont want to mention .... obviously i am not a kid to say this on an open forum

112

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Hmm...doesn't sound right at all! Well you can only pray that you get your visa ASAP and then go with your hubby IA. But your MIL is truly acting weird :/

113

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

I don't understand why can't you look after your jewellery yourself? Or is it that she doesn't want you travelling to Germany with it?

114

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Iyla please read the past posts you will get to know the whole thing

115

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Should you talk to him about this matter? You've tried on and off for a year and it didn't work. Now try a different strategy. Either ignore him and thus send a message that you're tired of his behavior and will not tolerate it....OR....get your parents to talk to his mom and him in a respectable way (though they dont' deserve it)...and see if that puts matters to an end. I wouldn't be surprsed if his mom gets offended and seeks other ways to get badla and if her son supports her in future stupid demands.

I don't have high hopes that things will be dramatically different when you two are living together. It's hard to change a person's mentality. If you do get that far...you have a challenging task ahead of you in building a strong bond with your husband and getting him to trust you. And if you'll be living with your MIL....you've got your work cut out for you.

One benefit in having your parents talk to his mom....is that they might be able to gauge what's going on with her intentions. They may be able to advise you as to how you should handle her and your husband...or they might even suggest cutting your losses. Just something to consider.

116

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

i dont know what to tell you, but like others have said, I dont believe he will change once you move in.
I cant understand someone who would say what he said to a woman who just miscarried..

117

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

Why do I come on Life1 to read such sad stories :(

I think you should stop talking with him for now. When a woman goes through something as painful as miscarriage you should give emotional and physical support to her and he is your husband and was the baby's father. Why is he telling you that it's a punishment for you ? was the baby not his ? usko saza nahi mili hai to mistreat his wife like this ? He is acting as if it was only your loss. Mati pao ! I know easier said than done I have been in a similar situation as yours but really you should look after yourself right now. Miscarriage can be a huge emotional blow to many women. Look after your health and please don't talk with him for a few days. I think you should consult your parents too because they can give the best advise than any of us here can give you.

Keeping everything aside the fight the miscarriage , being his wife aren't you suppose to stay with him ? what is stopping you to move to Germany with him ? It's your Islamic and Legal right. People don't get married to live without each other. You did not marry his mother.

I hope and wish the best for you.

118

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

my situation is more than complicated ... my father already regret the decision of making me marry him so i just really dnt wanna involve him seriously bcz of his health issues though he know what i have been going through ....

i wasnt able to move to him bcz acc to german law they donot allow spouse on one year student visa ....

119

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

SO he has talked to me but has not apologized just said leave everything that has happened ... so its going normal just normal talks but there is still tension on both the sides

120

Re: Should i forget and talk to him?

He wont apologize...