nah not enough! say some more plz
PM in that book, girl sleeps with her life-long love and gets pregnant. Then she's forced into a marriage with a Senior Citizen. He knows the child isn't his. The end.
i dont think shes right. and many people arent sayign the wife should stay quiet but instead are saying that this friend should stay quiet atleast im saying that. because i dont think its her place to tell the husband about this. i think she should only speak to the pregnant girl and try to convince her to speak to her husband but in no way do i think this friend should tell the husband about this situation even though he has a right to know about it. he should be hearing it from his wife only.
Sumorani , I wasnt pointing at people asking the friend to be quiet .... some people have mentioned that, that lady should continue with the situation and keep quiet or else her sister's marriage will also be affected ... I was pointing out at those people ..
I totally agree with you that its not the friends place to talk to that woman's husband ... the wife should herself speak to her husband ... its something personal and shouldnt come from a third person ....
Re: should he know?
I think the first person that needs to know is the husband and the wife should be the one to tell him. Its something she has to do...confess her sins to the man she hurt directly. No one should have to do this for her.
However, like sumorani said...it is not her friends' place to go and say anything to her husband. They need to counsel her but should not be the ones to say it. Why? Because even if he were to forgive her, hearing it from a 3rd party is humiliating. Any chances of the couple actually working it out are over as soon as anyone else gets involved.
Push her in the right direction but remember...its her battle...not yours.
Re: should he know?
There is One possible solution and I think someone has already mentioned it. If it is not too late, she should abort the baby and some how present it as miscarriage, ASK ALLAH FOR HIS FORGIVENESS and never do this again, never tell it to anyone.
She has already committed a sin, one more sin will only save her marriage and her sister's. And Allah is most merciful ...
There is One possible solution and I think someone has already mentioned it. If it is not too late, she should abort the baby and some how present it as miscarriage, ASK ALLAH FOR HIS FORGIVENESS and never do this again, never tell it to anyone.
She has already committed a sin, one more sin will only save her marriage and her sister's. And Allah is most merciful ...
no doubt Allah is the most merciful ...
your solution didnt cover the fact that abortion itself is a sin ... lets say even if she does that .. she will still be lying to her husband and herself ... and even if she does that ... supposing the news gets to her husband and he questions her ... she will always be living in fear and guilt...
the best solution is to be brave , first ask for Allah's forgiveness and power to say the truth ... then she MUST tell the truth to her husband and try her best to convince him of her remorse...
who knows , her husband may be hell angry at first but might eventually forgive her and they can continue a good guiltfree life ....
Re: should he know?
it's against islam to have children before marriage. why did she do such a thing. i hope u know what i mean.
no doubt Allah is the most merciful ...
your solution didnt cover the fact that abortion itself is a sin ... lets say even if she does that .. she will still be lying to her husband and herself ... and even if she does that ... supposing the news gets to her husband and he questions her ... she will always be living in fear and guilt...
the best solution is to be brave , first ask for Allah's forgiveness and power to say the truth ... then she MUST tell the truth to her husband and try her best to convince him of her remorse...
who knows , her husband may be hell angry at first but might eventually forgive her and they can continue a good guiltfree life ....
Well if you weigh both solutions on a scale of practicality of life, I think my solution is safe atleast in this life. Yes she will be punished after life but may be not as Allah is most merciful. But if she tells, her punishment chances after life remain and she adds hardships in her life and others'
If her husband somehow finds out in the future, she will still have a chance to explain it at that time.
For a sec I thought, "I swear I didn’t write that!"Similar avatars you see, got confused 
Well if you weigh both solutions on a scale of practicality of life, I think my solution is safe atleast in this life. Yes she will be punished after life but may be not as Allah is most merciful. But if she tells, her punishment chances after life remain and she adds hardships in her life and others'
If her husband somehow finds out in the future, she will still have a chance to explain it at that time.
so you are saying one can murder and repent and keep quiet and expect Allah to forgive ?
Truth told at the right time is what matters ... if her husband gets to know later on from another source ... how do you justify his hurt? the child he may have loved thinking his own , that love may change into extreme hatred ... how would you explain that?
you know , your solution is only good for her .. not for the ones around her .... why should they suffer for her sins?
and the biggest thing of all .....if the sin involved only her individual self , repenting would have been good enough ... but right now there are equally precious lives involved and she has simply no right to leave everyone prone to extreme hurt for her own sins....
also please keep one other thing in mind ... human nature is .. if you manage to get away with one wrong doing ... you will probably find it easier to commit another .... the same happens with alchohol, sex, lying, cheating, stealing ....
there is no way she should think she can be safe by hiding the bigest sin.
ok so if she had an affair in the past and stoppd it when she got engaged ... understandable , I would have supported you that she shouldnt destroy her present for her past .... but here , her baby is involved who will always remain the link to her past and present ..... !
Re: should he know?
i heard sumwhere i think its written in the Quran not sure bu i remember that AllahSWT has said that if we onlyt knew what would happen to us for our "flings" before shadi we would die by just the thought of it
so you are saying one can murder and repent and keep quiet and expect Allah to forgive ?
Truth told at the right time is what matters ... if her husband gets to know later on from another source ... how do you justify his hurt? the child he may have loved thinking his own , that love may change into extreme hatred ... how would you explain that?
you know , your solution is only good for her .. not for the ones around her .... why should they suffer for her sins?
and the biggest thing of all .....if the sin involved only her individual self , repenting would have been good enough ... but right now there are equally precious lives involved and she has simply no right to leave everyone prone to extreme hurt for her own sins....
also please keep one other thing in mind ... human nature is .. if you manage to get away with one wrong doing ... you will probably find it easier to commit another .... the same happens with alchohol, sex, lying, cheating, stealing ....
there is no way she should think she can be safe by hiding the bigest sin.
ok so if she had an affair in the past and stoppd it when she got engaged ... understandable , I would have supported you that she shouldnt destroy her present for her past .... but here , her baby is involved who will always remain the link to her past and present ..... !
I think you love to write and not read...if she had an abortion, how would husband be in-love with that child ?
I agree with some of your points though, actually, my first post pretty much said the same but apart from emotions, if you really wanna work things out, I think my solution may work. But this is just my opinion.
i heard sumwhere i think its written in the Quran not sure bu i remember that AllahSWT has said that if we onlyt knew what would happen to us for our "flings" before shadi we would die by just the thought of it
Flings after shadi are as bad as before shadi. Other then that I totally agree with you but don't forget Allah has mentioned his FORGIVENESS numerous times in Quran as well
I think you love to write and not read...if she had an abortion, how would husband be in-love with that child ?
I agree with some of your points though, actually, my first post pretty much said the same but apart from emotions, if you really wanna work things out, I think my solution may work. But this is just my opinion.
so you are saying , its ok to abort the child coz she has sinned?
and you are giving her a solution that says go on , do another round of lying with the family and tell them the sorry story that there was a miscarriage ?
like its so easy to hide the miscarriage ? and husband is so stupid he wont even know whats going on ?
are you naive? do you seriously not understand the implications of abortion, lying, creating stories , living a sinful life ????
a woman who sinned, lied to her husband, hides first that the baby isnt his, then decides to abort the baby , then goes around lying again .... phew .... does she even deserve to be married ?
Re: should he know?
/\ Precisely speaking, the fetus isn't alive (does not feel pain, have heart beat etc) during the first six weeks of pregnancy. If she aborts it during that time, it shouldn't be a moral issue.
so you are saying , its ok to abort the child coz she has sinned?
and you are giving her a solution that says go on , do another round of lying with the family and tell them the sorry story that there was a miscarriage ?
like its so easy to hide the miscarriage ? and husband is so stupid he wont even know whats going on ?
are you naive? do you seriously not understand the implications of abortion, lying, creating stories , living a sinful life ????
a woman who sinned, lied to her husband, hides first that the baby isnt his, then decides to abort the baby , then goes around lying again .... phew .... does she even deserve to be married ?
Here is my first post
If she can do it right before her marriage, It is almost 100% guaranteed that she will do it again and this time may be within husband's family... The husband is effd up no matter what. Husband should divorce her ASAP
And here is my second post - please read it this time...
There is One possible solution and I think someone has already mentioned it. If it is not too late, she should abort the baby and some how present it as miscarriage, ASK ALLAH FOR HIS FORGIVENESS and never do this again, never tell it to anyone.
She has already committed a sin, one more sin will only save her marriage and her sister's. And Allah is most merciful ...
Re: should he know?
In answer to your thread title - Yes.
Here is my first post
And here is my second post - please read it this time...
RC ... i have read your posts previosly as well and trust me your solution is good .. but not for this situation ... coz lets say she was the only person who knew and none of her friends or sister knw .... it would have remained a secret ...
but now its no longer a secret ... anyone can spil the beans .. or people can connect 2 and 2 ...
Marriage is a relationship of trust ... Trust and only trust is what will keep it going .. and in her situation , this biggest element is missing ... things like these do not remain hidden ... people talk ... and it WILL reach her family/husband one way or the other ... and that will worsen the situation ...
Re: should he know?
If they are muslim, they need to read the islamic ruling on such a matter. From my understanding, he is not permitted to marry her until she repents AND until after she gives birth to the child. Then he can get married to her. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong but this is what I have read.
If you arent going to tell him for whatever reason, then atleast tell her what the sunnah is.
Re: should he know?
4 the ppl getting mad at me...what am i supposed to do??? i have no intention of telling her husband but just want to advise her..... and the reason only some of us know is cuz we found the pregnancy test... she takes her sister to the doc not her husband and has scheduled a c section around a time that would make it seem like the conceiving time with her husband....(which i dont really understand at all)
Number one shes not like my very close friend or anything just a family friends daughter...
Number 2..she feels bad....but not enough to tell her hubby and in my eyes she doesnt seem like she cares to repent
number 3----the baby's father is a complete and total idiot and she has no interest in telling him that this is his kid....
Her sister is getting worried and as her sisters life can be impacted too...
She is muslim and pakistani but not really practicing at all which is pretty evident... she did consider abortion and her sister went crazy (her sister is waaaaaaay more religious).