Re: Shadi preps
I have removed the off topic posts.
Lay off the personal attacks and if you are incapable of posting without resorting to name calling, then it's best you don't post at all.
Now carry on with the topic instead of each other.
Thanks
Re: Shadi preps
Menoo hugz
Re: Shadi preps
Try to convince her to make one dress for valima of her choice. Its your wedding day, you have the right to make the wedding day dress by yourself. I agree with Najim, use a can of butter while talking to her :D
Sometimes ...u have to compromise in life...and shadi itself is name of compromise to make it more successful....there is no harm...in wearing one dress of her choice...i mean no one wants to start life with negative issues...it can only rotten the relationship...if u can convience her than nthing like it. Otherwise no i see no harm in it...after all u r making ur first day dress..
TC
Re: Shadi preps
now thats the best advice! 
Re: Shadi preps
hmmm I thought I would have been very simple to just say that I want the lehnga made myself, but going through your posts it seems that it may have a negative effect.
God, y is everything so complicated with pakistanis?and y do there have to been 100 ppl interferring in ur life??!!!
Sure, any mother wud be happy for her son's wedding and wud like to partcipate in the shadi preps, but what about smiling to ur bahu first or making her feel loved and welcome....
anyways, thanks for ur comments. some of them are useful. I think its important to have a balance between oneself and the in laws. no need to send ego centric signals or to become way to self sacrifising. its all about a balance.
and since I believe in mutual respect and care, I dont believe that stating the fact that I would like a lehnga of my own choise should create negative situation, but then again thats just me....
Re: Shadi preps
Bhai sahab, i am already married.. :D
First I thought that chameli's both dresses are going to be her mother-in-law's choice. I wore my walima dress which was my inlaws choice. I only knew the color, saw the dress on my walima day.
I didnt have any problem when they didnt take me with them to chose the dress.
Re: Shadi preps
1) To me, my big day is the baraat day. Ideally I would strive my best to wear my choice of outfit on that day. In reality I chose the dress, jewellery etc mostly of my mother's choice. I had to compromise and get something that made both of us happy.
2) The walima dress, in my opinion is a gift from my inlaws. Perhaps i dont have a right to say anything ehre since i was able to choose my walima dress myself. But its a gift nonetheless and i would personally not make a big deal of what someone else gives to me as a present. I would on the other hand send out plenty of signals on what i would like so they can get something similiar, if not an exact copy of what i want. :)
I agree :)
Re: Shadi preps
errrr.. LB: isnt singlet a ‘shameez’ ? 
Re: Shadi preps
God, y is everything so complicated with pakistanis?and y do there have to been 100 ppl interferring in ur life??!!!
Sure, any mother wud be happy for her son's wedding and wud like to partcipate in the shadi preps, but what about smiling to ur bahu **first **or making her feel loved and welcome....
anyways, thanks for ur comments. some of them are useful. I think its important to have a balance between oneself and the in laws. no need to send ego centric signals or to become way to self sacrifising. its all about a balance.
and since I believe in mutual respect and care, I dont believe that stating the fact that I would like a lehnga of my own choise should create negative situation, but then again thats just me....
why dont you take the first step? Forgive her for her ignorance.
And you are absolutely right and if you had a normal relationship with your MIL it wouldn't even be this big of a deal. But you have to think like her, since you know her.
Re: Shadi preps
[quote]
But you have to think like her, since you know her.
[/quote]
I don't think she knows her that well yet. I would think the fiance would be able to help decipher some of the non verbal cues :-)
Re: Shadi preps
faizy that would be a slip :halo:
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Later on my ex MIL found the whole thing extremely funny. But then again she is a gem of a lady.
Sara n Femme thanks. Ira hell Yes !! If its a hideous parrot green or shocking pink one then i guess there is no other choice
At least now everyone's been warned not to do any ironing on their wedding day :D ...i especially have been warned because i burn everything anyway...whether its cooking, clothes or even myself! My mum does despair of me...but she's such a sweetie because she does everything for me!
Re: Shadi preps
Ur choice of lengha should not affect ur relationship unless ur mil allows it to become an issue. Although, i keep saying that its ur day and should be ur choice, but if u don’t want to come across as if u’ve disregarded her wishes then buy a spare and wear that if u really don’t like the one she chooses…She doesn’t have to kno until u turn up beautiful wearing ur own choice :halo:
Re: Shadi preps
Seriously if it's in Pak, how bad can the lengha be??? someone said ti best, a darzi wud come in handy and say "baji yeh fashion mein nahi hain" :)
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It has now turned out that the lady is not even going to Pakistan for shopping herself and will most probably outsource it to someone......
I dont see the point here. If its gonna be outsourced, then y not let me do it while I am going to PK anyways.....
power issues?
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and the lady refused very harshly to her son to talk to my parents about nikkah a few months before rukhsati without any logical reason.
and she never calls to ask how her one and only bahu is doing. it is not common for a girl to call after engagement so I cant call her before the wedding. I dont feel that she is interested in a personal relationship with me.
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^ this is more then enough…ask her for the last time.. else supari de dalo khatoon ki 
PM me if u want some discounted rates.
Re: Shadi preps
I'd just have one made of my choice in case I didn't like the one she made....Or before hand give some hints to husband to be about colours designs, email him some pics of my taste etc....
If worst came to worst and I really hated it i'd wear the one I made in case, and say that the one she made had a really bad fitting or a big gala or somethin.....
Re: Shadi preps
In 70:5, Allah commands:
Faisbir sabran jameelan
Which means:
- Persevere with the beautiful perseverance
- Be patient with a beautiful patience
- Be steadfast with the best steadfastness
Allah says in the Quran:
-O you who believe ! Be steadfast and be supreme in your perseverance [3:200]
-For your Lord’s [cause], be patient and steadfast [74:7]
-For every hardship, there is a relief or ease [94:5-6]
-Allah does not impose on any self any more burden that it can bear [2:286]
Re: Shadi preps
you guys want to do nikah in advance and she doesn’t want that?
This lady definitely has power issues. I would call her once to say hello but if she behaves rudely to you over the phone then don’t bother calling her after that. At least you can say that you tried 