Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
Peace bro. Submission To Peace
With all respect I disagree with the findings of this twisted Dr. Sol Gordon
I have given Dr Sol Gordon's some concepts about sex education from an article in post no 98....I don't think Brother STP would agree with them.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I'm sure it didn't effect your marital life but may be effected your unmarried life in a positive way and you didn't indulge in premarital sex, am I right?
Few decades ago in the UK they used to tell children that sex is filthy and when they stopped doing that considering it an old fashion the increase in teenage pregnancies started to rise, now UK is at the top in teenage pregnancies list.
This is from the article i posted above:
The secular sex education devoid of morality promoted by educators like Dr. Sol Gordon is in many ways unacceptable to our value system. The examples of Dr. Gordon's beliefs are:
a. Nudity in homes (in shower or bedroom) is good and a healthy way to introduce sexuality to smaller (under 5) children, giving them opportunity to ask questions. In the same book he also states that 75% of all child molestations and incests (500,000 per year) occur by a close relative (parent, step parent or another family member) in a familiar surrounding.
b. A child's playing with genitals of another child is a "naive exploration", is permissible and not a reason for scolding or punishment. He is also aware that boys as young as 12 have raped girls as young as 8. He does not tell us when this "naive exploration" becomes a sex act.
c. "Children caught reading 'dirty' magazines should not be made to feel quilty, but parents should use it as a chance to get some useful points across him or her about sexual attitudes, values and sex exploitation." Like charity, pornography, should start at home !!
d. " If your daughter or son is already sexually active, instead of telling them to stop it, the parents moral duty is to protect their health and career by providing them information and means for contraception and avoiding VD". Educators like Dr. Gordon do not believe that giving sexual information means giving the go ahead signal for sex. I just wonder as to why some folks after being, told the shape, color, smell and taste of a new fruit, and pleasure derived form eating it, would not like to try it? These educators say that even if your child does not ask any questions about sex, parents should initiate the discussion using i.e. a neighbor's pregnancy, a pet's behavior, advertisements, popular music or a TV show. I wonder why these educators are obsessed with loading children with sexual information whether they want it or not.
*besides i believe young children will find sexual intercourse disgusting and filthy anyway regardless you tell them or not. * There is an age and time to teach children about sex and parents are or should be aware when their child is sexually active then its the responsibility of the parents to teach their children about sex with Islamic perspective.
In this article the author has described the method in an excellent way:
The Curriculum For Islamic Sex Education Islamic sex education should be taught at home, starting at an early age. Before giving education about the anatomy and physiology, the belief in the Creator should be well established. As Destoevsky puts it "without God everything, is possible" meaning that the lack of belief or awareness of God gives an okay for wrong doing".
The father should teach the son and mother should teach her daughter. In the absence of a willing parent, the next best choice should be a Muslim male teacher (preferably a physician) for boys and a Muslim female teacher (a nurse or physician) for a girl at the Sunday Islamic school.
The curriculum should be tailored according to the age of the child and classes be held separately. Only answer to a pertinent question be given. By this I mean that if a 5 year old asks "how did I get into mom's tummy", there is no need to describe the whole act of intercourse. Similarly it is not necessary to tell a 14 year old how to put on condoms. This might be taught in premarital class just before his or her marriage.
The Curriculum For Sex Education Should Include:
a) Sexual growth and development * Time table for puberty *Physical changes during puberty * Need for family lifeb) Physiology of reproductive system * For girls - organ, menstruation, premenstrual syndrome * For boys - the organ, the sex drivec) Conception, development of fetus & birthd) Sexually transmitted disease (VD/AIDS) (emphasize the lslamic aspect).e) * Mental, emotional & social aspect of puberty * Social, moral and religious ethics * How to avoid peer pressure
it just sounded a bit harsh saying that sex is disgusting.
bt i get ur point.
see post below
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
[quote="mizzrani, post:66, topic:177903"]
ok i agree wid wt u have said . bt ok u can tell kids its filthy when theyre little and i agree they will think so anyway.
but young adults shud nt b told it sick they shud b told it is haram and a sin if they engage in pre marital sex or sexual activties. they shud b told the punishments there r for this in islam and also all the scientific things along wirth it like STD'S . unwanted pregnancies.
for me it was always sumfin pure and special with the husband u love
once i was enlightened and dint find it sick nemore .
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
Peace mizzrani
SubhanAllah! I totally agree with the statement in bold above ... I would like to emphasise however, teaching kids about the act of sex is itself disgusting. We don't teach our kids about 'sex' ... we stop them from asking questions about it by saying that those 'areas' on their body are disgusting ... Does any one understand simple English?
sorry brother
i agree wid nt teachin kids i think in my case i was referring more to teenage girls nt even boys.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
He means ' angels ' by ' pure beings '. He wasn't talking about celibacy.
What have angels got to do with this discussion? Angels don't eat and drink either. Should we stay away from eating and drinking too. What kind of absurd tangents you guys keep bringing to a discussion??
Anyway, enough time wasted here on stupid statements that are then retracted or claimed to be "misstated" or whatever.
Anyway, here is a gem
[QUOTE]
We don't teach our kids about 'sex' ... we stop them from asking questions about it by saying that those 'areas' on their body are disgusting
[/QUOTE]
I am going to include this in a future article - Why the Government Needs to License People Who Want to Have Babies.
Masha Allah, teach your kids that parts of their body are disgusting. Subhan Allah.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
He only quoted one statement by Sol Gordon, guys. Not his entire book. This is not a thread about what that man thinks. Just analyze his quoted post and move on, instead of bringing the threads into more desperate tangents.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I am going to include this in a future article - Why the Government Needs to License People Who Want to Have Babies.
JUST DO IT
Allah aap ke haal pe raham karay.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
“If you tell kids about sex, they’ll do it. If you tell them about VD, they’ll go out and get it. Incredible as may seem, most oppositions to sex education in this country are based on the assumption that knowledge is harmful. But research in this area reveals that ignorance and unresolved curiosity, not knowledge, are harmful. Our failure to tell children what they want and need to know is one reason we have the highest rates of out-of-wedlock teens pregnancy and abortion of any highly developed country in the world.”
I think this bolded sentence pretty much says it all. We can't lie to our children or keep them ignorant and we certainly shouldn't tell them anything about their bodies is disgusting.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I think this bolded sentence pretty much says it all. We can't lie to our children or keep them ignorant and we certainly shouldn't tell them anything about their bodies is disgusting.
yeah we should encourage them to pick their nose and eat their bogies especially in front of others.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
JUST DO IT
Allah aap ke haal pe raham karay.
Right back at ya.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
Right back at ya.
Allah aap ke haal pe bhi raham karay.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
yeah we should encourage them to pick their nose and eat their bogies especially in front of others.
How are you jumping to this conclusion based on what seminole said?
What the heck is your thought process when you jump from point A to point B? do you even have one?
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
What have angels got to do with this discussion? Angels don't eat and drink either. Should we stay away from eating and drinking too. What kind of absurd tangents you guys keep bringing to a discussion??
Anyway, enough time wasted here on stupid statements that are then retracted or claimed to be "misstated" or whatever.
Anyway, here is a gem ... {A quote from me psyah regarding not letting children touch their privates}
I am going to include this in a future article - Why the Government Needs to License People Who Want to Have Babies.
Masha Allah, teach your kids that parts of their body are disgusting. Subhan Allah.
Peace Faisal
The act of sex is not important for our growth as humans, to be pious or otherwise. Sex has indeed been made halal for us to be enjoined with out partners.
To explain why angels were used as an example was, if you follow the thread back a few posts I was presenting an argument that 'sex is a lower function of the person, i.e. it is part of our animalistic natures to be sex driven and sex needing' to support this argument I presented the contrast of pure beings not requiring sex and also a very direct rationalisation why we cannot possibly say that God takes a son nor can we say that God was born, nauzdubillah. It is because the acts that bring about such beautiful gifts as children is a debasing act. It should be a sign for us that we are lowly creatures.
We have no right to be arrogant when we see the method of our entry in to this world. It was humbling for me to see my sons being born and I realised that we all go through such a process. Is it not a sign for us to reflect and realise our own level?
The act of sex is considered raunchy and it is a taboo for good reason. If we remove these taboos we are being careless. In fact the idea where 'sex' was to be taken down to normal levels can be found in a book called "A Brave New World" where people are no longer required to get married and sex is called "engaging" and people are free to arrange a date with anyone they like and within the confines of that date everything is done. There is not risk of disease nor children because they have been genetically engineered and reproduction has been made "haraam" .. in fact the word 'mother' is a curse.
In the hadith there is a sign of the Day of Judgment that there will be much promiscuity ... I see that as a direct result of lowering the taboo of sex. We need to remember even if 'sex' were to have been a completely 'clean' act ... it is still haram if done without a legal partner. Haram should be prevented and the things that lead to haram should be shunned. Such as touching oneself. Self-sexual exploration and kissing and the "harmless" things associated to "love" are precursors to the act of sex and these increase the "risk" of sex ... especially for young teenagers who have not necessarily learned the art of self-control or correctly distinguishing from right and wrong. Westernised Muslims have an even harder task to sift through secular unIslamic values from those that are compatible with Islam, especially if those individuals are from parents who are ignorant of the Western society whilst living in it.
These days the western culture is spreading world wide and such problems are finding their way in to villages.
In complete irony your future article "Why the Government Needs to License People Who Want to Have Babies." Islam does just this ... its called the Nikkah. Okay I understand you want to put it through a driving test ... lets see if they are capable of letting their children enjoy sex and only then we will let them have kids.
The act of sex itself should be a private matter and children are often repulsed by the thought of their parents undertaking the act. It is not because the society teaches them such things, it is because it is the nature of children to view 'sex' as a 'fight' or something harmful ... by nature, the ideas by such contemporary prevailing winds want to educate children out of their natural innocence. And that is exactly what innocence is ... it is a limited often incorrect view of the nature of reality in this case their own sexual function.
So hopefully there are no tangents here ... just try to see it from this perspective but you don't have to agree with it ... you can teach and you are free to do so without my saying your children in whatever manner you feel fit ... inshaAllah our intention is to make 'pious' children by the Mercy of Allah (SWT) we may achieve this.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I would take advice from bro. USResident … You know I have nothing against PyariCgudia either even if she has with me … if I agree with her I will let her know and I have done so in the past. I try to not let these issues become personal … we should all try to do that. I think some people may view us as a threat to progress … but really if only they knew me … I don’t think we know anyone enough to make remarks about them we should take the truth in their words and accept them and ignore everything else …
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
^ I am still having my fill of laughs for people to consider sex as poop. I wonder what they think of their kids then if sex = poop means the kids came out from poop!
No wonder what is happening in UK is happening with the delusioned muslim population! Nothing is good in either extreme [none or too much] and all you "educated folks" * know about that. I remember reading islamic manners [possibly from hadith] about how to approach sex. It certainly is not pooping since pooping doesn't get that much attention in Islam!*
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
^ I am still having my fill of laughs for people to consider sex as poop. I wonder what they think of their kids then if sex = poop means the kids came out from poop!
No wonder what is happening in UK is happening with the delusioned muslim population! Nothing is good in either extreme [none or too much] and all you "educated folks" * know about that. I remember reading islamic manners [possibly from hadith] about how to approach sex. It certainly is not pooping since pooping doesn't get that much attention in Islam!
Peace shriek11
The laughs are on you for no one thinks of sex = poop
and furthermore your statement 'kids came our from poop' is not far from reality is it? But I guess you have not seen anyone being born yet !!!*
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
@ poop
We’re all poopsters.
Anywho…moving on!
As-Salaam-o-Alaikum!
I do believe ignoring or pretending that the issue does not exist would be quite harmful for muslim youths. Surely, there is a time and place for everything. A parent knows their child best, and the responsibility lies on the parent to educate their/his/her child(ren) to educate on all aspects of life from an Islam perspective. Islam is for knowledge and education, across the board. I do agree with (my sister-in-faith) that you cannot teach a 3 year old the same that you can a 9 year old.
Surely, there are stages of comprehension. But nonetheless, the kids should be taught and educated because education starts from home. What you teach them maybe in their benefit because if you don’t teach your kids, society most certainly will. It’s a known fact that the kids who lack knowledge due to home education are sometimes mislead because they’ve only heard the version the society offers. Would you want that? Would you want your child to learn from the outside? From people you don’t approve of? Then to prevent that, you have to teach your child on your own so that he/she can judge with proper knowledge what he/she is faced with outside of home. You give a child the knowledge and he/she will certainly put it to use to fend off misinformation. Communication is a lacking element in most muslim, specifically desi families. Sex is thought of as a taboo. To some extent that is fine, because there is the matter of respect. But nonetheless it should not be treated like a disease because it does reside in all of us.
Now on the whole issue of Sex in itself…
Sex is a necessity for human-beings. That is why Islam encourages marriage when one becomes a Baligh (Mature), because it will keep that individual from seeking other illegal means of satisfying the urge and desire. Human are bound to fall prey to the satan and his evil whispers; therefore, it was and is recommended that instead of committing adultry, one should just marry instead. They, thereby, can perform the deed as a couple. It is far better than indulging in illegitimate sexual relationship(s).
Bottomline, Sex in itself is not a bad thing. It is indeed a necessity for ALMOST all humans. It is how you perform it, and who you perform it with, can be debated.
Please don’t quote me on this, and may Allah (SWT) forgive me for saying this if i am wrong, but i read somewhere that making love to your spouse is a form of Ibadah too because by doing that you are fulfilling your basic needs and doing it with your spouse keeps you from committing a sin (Adultry).
May Allah (SWT) guide us all to that which is best for us and protect us from the wicked acts that can ruin us.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I believe lying to children is useless or maybe harmful in some ways , and certainly they should not told everything , just as they will learn according to their age , which also includes mental , physical , emotional growth.
Parents are well aware of the capability and capacity of a child to absorb knowledge( any form - includes sex education) , some children learn earlier than others , but this does not imply that every child should be taught at the same age .
lying does not help in any case
massi musebatay 
her baal ke khaal na utarain karain
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
**Bottomline, Sex in itself is not a bad thing. It is indeed a necessity for ALMOST all humans. It is how you perform it, and who you perform it with, can be debated.
Please don't quote me on this, and may Allah (SWT) forgive me for saying this if i am wrong, but i read somewhere that making love to your spouse is a form of Ibadah too because by doing that you are fulfilling your basic needs and doing it with your spouse keeps you from committing a sin (Adultry).**
Someone needs to get through this to the heads of desi parents who think its okay to tell their kids "Now don't go off thinking about this sex wex, its all gandaghi" and leave it at that. I know that is how my mother dealt with it, and I learned everything through an encyclopedia (well before I heard about it at school). I even knew the full menstrual cycle with hormones (LH, FSH, etc) by the time I was in 4th grade. My mother actually didn't let me sit in the sex ed classes (in elementary school, parents can opt a kid out of those classes), and the funny thing was that I already knew way more than the kids in the class did. I've told this to my mom, and she was totally in disbelief. Apparently, my dad's boss gifted us a children's encyclopedia set, the 15th volume of which was a Parenting Guide, which I read thoroughly because it had wonderful pictures of interesting infections and diseases in the pediatric population. Of course there was a chapter on adolescents and sexual and reproductive topics. Whatever I didn't get, I was looking up at the library. All this in elementary school.
My parents still don't believe it to this day.
And its because I actually chanced upon the topic being explained in a more scientific and mature way that my attitutude towards sex is not that of fear or disgust.
The way a kid is taught sex and reproduction is highly important. Even little boys should know about menstruation etc, I think. Its very important - generates a great deal more respect for women as they get older.
Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
I am curious to know if those who think sex between husband and wife is an unclean, animalistic and debasing act believe there will be sex in the afterlife.