What do you teach your child about sex? Sex and sexual discharge is clean?
It depends on what you mean by the definition of clean.
If clean means : something that is there that shouldn't be there when you pray - then no, sex and discharge is not clean - hence you have to take a shower after you're done.
If clean means: something that doesn't smell bad...well then I guess whether sex is dirty is up to a person's sense of smell.
If clean means: something pure and beautiful and not tarnished - then sex is perfectly clean.
Discharge during sex is NOTHING like feces or urine. Feces and urine are waste materials that leave your body. They can't be eaten, they can't be tasted, and you should definiely no have them on your body when you're associating physically with anyone else.
I don't think sexual discharge shares those features with feces and urine. Discharge is not waste material - its natural lubricant. It can be eaten and tasted (depending on your fetish), and you definitely can have them on your body when you're associating with another person.
Also, it really shouldn't be that terrible smelling either.
So, in what ways is it "dirty"?
I hope you realize how many wives the Prophet had, and how much sexual intercourse he was having, and to what extent it was encouraged, promoted, and taught in Islamic history.
What do you teach your child about sex? Sex and sexual discharge is clean?
What I teach my children is my business, but there is definitely a big difference between enjoying sexual relations between husband and wife (to call it filthy/disgusting is just silly); and the actual semen and other sexual discharges which are obviously deemed impure (you need to take a bath to offer salat). They are very different things. If someone has a bad sex life, it doesn't mean that sex should be deemed disgusting/filthy for all mankind. I'll feel sorry for any kids who are brought up with this kind of education.
It depends on what you mean by the definition of clean.
If clean means : something that is there that shouldn't be there when you pray - then no, sex and discharge is not clean - hence you have to take a shower after you're done.
If clean means: something that doesn't smell bad...well then I guess whether sex is dirty is up to a person's sense of smell.
If clean means: something pure and beautiful and not tarnished - then sex is perfectly clean.
Discharge during sex is NOTHING like feces or urine. Feces and urine are waste materials that leave your body. They can't be eaten, they can't be tasted, and you should definiely no have them on your body when you're associating physically with anyone else.
I don't think sexual discharge shares those features with feces and urine. Discharge is not waste material - its natural lubricant. It can be eaten and tasted (depending on your fetish), and you definitely can have them on your body when you're associating with another person.
Also, it really shouldn't be that terrible smelling either.
So, in what ways is it "dirty"?
I hope you realize how many wives the Prophet had, and how much sexual intercourse he was having, and to what extent it was encouraged, promoted, and taught in Islamic history.
I think I have described myself in post above..we don't dring sexual discharge either as poo or pee....anyway lets move to the topic of the thread once again.
My son is 3 and he already knows that women hold babies in their tummies, he knows where breast milk is made too.
People often confuse especially in non-religious institutions sexual maturity education with sex education. The latter is what is wrong. We can not possibly teach about sex, connect it with love and enjoyment and then require the children not to practice it.
What we need to do is teach that it is disgusting and sinful, to avoid touching or looking as much as possible, due to it being 'dirty' only then can innocence be maintained as long as possible.
You have to avoid it not because its disgusting and sinful, but because of the consequences. If sex in and of itself is disgusting, then you shouldn't do it after marriage either! Just like if you were to say pooping on the sidewalk is disgusting --- well that doesn't change after you get married!
You avoid sex before marriage, because of what it does to people. The emotional troubles you go thru when you're 16 and your significant other dumps you after having sex with you, the economic and academic difficulty you have if you get pregnant at 14 out of wedlock and then having to raise a baby without a father around, and what it does to kids for them to not have a dad. You know the drill, you can make a whole list of consequences you have to deal with that you SHOULD teach your kids about! Not that its dirty - then they're going to grow up being really awkward about sex even after marriage!!!
What I teach my children is my business, but there is definitely a big difference between enjoying sexual relations between husband and wife (to call it filthy/disgusting is just silly); and the actual semen and other sexual discharges which are obviously deemed impure (you need to take a bath to offer salat). They are very different things. If someone has a bad sex life, it doesn't mean that sex should be deemed disgusting/filthy for all mankind. I'll feel sorry for any kids who are brought up with this kind of education.
As I said we should use different approaches and methods to teach children at different ages an levels.....we surely cannot teach a 3 year old in the same way we can teach to a 9 year old. Hope you understand this.
This is exactly what I was afraid of and here you go, you did not waste any time to set the "chingari" to a fire. I don't think one needs to go personal just for the sake of discussion. I wonder what you have said if you didn't know that these both are married?
No sane person with their spouse seeing what they type, would be writing that sex is filthy. That's such an insult to your partner. These two apparently have no problem with that.
And it does become a personal issue, because their statements are only personal, and not anywhere founded upon the Quran and Hadith.
To personal comments being falsely passed off as words of God?
If you are unhappy with the act, then you need to keep that to your bedroom and not spread those ideas onto a forum where others are reading your comments and God forbid, acting upon them, thinking they're being good muslims.
No sane person with their spouse seeing what they type, would be writing that sex is filthy. That's such an insult to your partner. These two apparently have no problem with that.
And it does become a personal issue, because their statements are only personal, and not anywhere founded upon the Quran and Hadith.
PCG!
You don't have children thats why you don't know what and how to teach you 3 years old.
To personal comments being falsely passed off as words of God?
If you are unhappy with the act, then you need to keep that to your bedroom and not spread those ideas onto a forum where others are reading your comments and God forbid, acting upon them, thinking they're being good muslims.
What? Words of God? No I never said its God's word. It is our personal opinion based on the best psychological approach for teaching children about sex.....I don't know why are keep bringing the bedroom debate.
Do you agree that children need different level of approach at different stage?
Oh but why I'm asking this question to you....you're not interested in children or children's education....you just want to bring some irrelevent arguments that has nothing to do with this thread.
As I said we should use different approaches and methods to teach children at different ages an levels.....we surely cannot teach a 3 year old in the same way we can teach to a 9 year old. Hope you understand this.
This is not what you are saying. You said "sex is filthy/disgusting". It has nothing to do with age appropriateness of kids. It will be wrong to teach kids something WRONG, just because you think they are too young. If you think your child is too young for the discussion then side-step the issue or explain it in an age-appropriate manner. DO NOT, for the love of God, feed them WRONG ideas or WRONG information. If you give them simple truthful answers, I am sure they will appreciate it later on. Giving WRONG answers (even if for the sake of age appropriateness) will make you lose your credibility in front of your own kids.
This is not what you are saying. You said "sex is filthy/disgusting". It has nothing to do with age appropriateness of kids. It will be wrong to teach kids something WRONG, just because you think they are too young. If you think your child is too young for the discussion then side-step the issue or explain it in an age-appropriate manner. DO NOT, for the love of God, feed them WRONG ideas or WRONG information. If you give them simple truthful answers, I am sure they will appreciate it later on. Giving WRONG answers (even if for the sake of age appropriateness) will make you lose your credibility in front of your own kids.
Well it is not a lie as sex is disgusting in a manner(uncleanliness) so I don't think that it is wrong to tell them its filthy.
When a 5 year old see a couple snoging on the street what should we tell him to keep his thoughts clean, pure and innocent?
If you come in contact with dog poop in order to clean your yard or car then YES it is disgusting and unclean.
I don't know about you, but I don't associate sex with my spouse in any way equivalent to dog poop.
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For all you said above clearly indicates that you haven't read Psychology ever in your life.
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Please don't lecture me about pyschology when you have such unhealthy and misguided views on sexual relations. The obvious lack understanding of pyschology is on the part of those who don't understand how emotionally unhealthy it is to teach children that sex is disgusting.
it is a very delicate topic to talk about with your kids so how would desi people explain it to their kids.
The schools in the States do a really good job of it during the teenage years I think so that combined with a carefully thought out approach by the parents would be best just so if and when the children do have some questions or issues they would feel comfortable coming to either parent.
I don't know about you, but I don't associate sex with my spouse in any way equivalent to dog poop.
Please don't lecture me about pyschology when you have such unhealthy and misguided views on sexual relations. The obvious lack understanding of pyschology is on the part of those who don't understand how emotionally unhealthy it is to teach children that sex is disgusting.
If you cannot provide proof for your claims then you should stop writing, because I'd consider it as non sense.
But if you can then I'll try to understand your point otherwise there is no point for me in debating with you about a child's mind to claning your yard and car.
I'm not doing your research for you. Common sense if nothing else should tell you that lying to your children is harmful to them. But since we are unable to post without "proof", please provide one legitimate source that says lying to your children is healthy for them. Or that telling them sex is disgusting is healthy. You are the one with the outrageous POV (as evidenced by everyone here disagreeing with you), so the burden of proof should be on you.
Guys we need some chill pills here. Everyone stop and take deep breath. I think we have escalated here into misunderstanding. Sr. Hareem might have chosen the wrong words or lets say presented them without the proper context and certain people here have just blown it out of proportion.
I think Hareem and Psyah were only trying to state that at a young age when children are incapable of understanding or comprehending the enjoyments of sex it is better to deter them from it until they are old enough to understand it. At that stage we can freely educate them about it and also with whatever are beliefs state about it i.e. sin or no sin. Her comments were about kids not adults but unfortunately we see adults here behaving childishly and more inappropriate than kids, what a shame.
You have to explain kids in a language they can comprehend and correlate to. Explaining them the joys of sex will definitely be not comprehendible to them at a young and tender age but yet it will give them the idea that it is something good. We teach kids to do good things and if you go this route it will be difficult for you to deter them later when they question you back about, I thought we were supposed to do good things and you taught us sex is a good enjoyable thing, then why are you stopping us. Things like these should be taught when they have more perspective of the world and their bodies and a little more mature.
Now in non-muslim cultures (not all but many) dating and other activities leading to pre-marital sex are not frowned upon so frequently but rather encouraged. This is not the way of muslims. We do not and should not educate our children about sex in a way that leads them to the idea that it can be experimented with out of the bounds of marriage when they are mature enough to handle it.
I think we need to stop mixing our arguments as if we are discussing adults or even teen kids who are capable of understanding. Hareems comments were more aimed at toddler kids or kindergarten level kids.
I personally blame Seminole for beginning a cascading series of posts that were taken completely out of context.
Now here is the response to all the points given thus far:
Firstly: I said nothing about "teaching children that sex is disgusting" ... I meant that to teach children about sex AT ALL is wrong. They should know the truth about babies, and if they ask too many questions such as how then we will say that "daddy puts a seed inside mummy" that is it no more ... any more questions we will defer them.
Secondly: I said that the private parts are disgusting and filthy. Because of their functions. For children who are innocent they see their privates not a sexual organs, but as orifices of waste management. That is how we should maintain it. We should stop them touching themselves when in childhood so they won't touch themselves in adolscence, thus will not discover "sex" until they need to.
Thirdly: We will indeed stage the development, giving more detail.
Fourthly: Which Muslim says that semen and discharge is not disgusting when even Allah (SWT) says that they are "despised fluid" Surah 32:8
Despised does NOT mean filthy it MEANS disgusting or causing of disgust. Those people who are not disgusted by discharge are themselves disgusting!
Fifthly: PyariCgudia ... I can answer your taunts in one single swoop. You tease my wife about the sort of affairs we have ... don't you have any shame? Okay now here is a shameless reply ... Pleasure is equally proportional to the amount of cleaning required ... I know that you know that ... Enough Said!
I'm not doing your research for you. Common sense if nothing else should tell you that lying to your children is harmful to them. But since we are unable to post without "proof", please provide one legitimate source that says lying to your children is healthy for them. Or that telling them sex is disgusting is healthy. You are the one with the outrageous POV (as evidenced by everyone here disagreeing with you), so the burden of proof should be on you.
Exactly. There is NO commandement in the Quran or Hadith that says children should be taught as such. In fact, if anything, one of the local mosques here has a campaign going to educate parents on how to talk to their kids about sex, and calling it disgusting or filthy is NOT part of recommended protocol.
You can say that its inappropriate for unmarried individuals, but certainly not because its dirty. Again, if it was dirty, it would still be dirty after marriage, in which case no one here should be enjoying sex period.
Obviously, that's not how God intended it.
Uh, Psyah, post the entire ayah. Just posting one word out of context from the ENTIRE sentence from the Quran is completely immature.
And allow me to STERNLY remind you: God CREATED sex in order to propogate the human race and provide companionship opportunities to his creations. To call an act of his creation dirty and filthy and insult it the way you do, is completely disrespectful to God.
