second-wife

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: second-wife

umer..what can i say..ur **** outta luck..gotta max out at 4...

42

Re: second-wife

Patience brother!

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Re: second-wife

Yes I know

But why should the fifth one suffer. It was my fault to have all four too early. Why should she face problems cause I am full to capacity? She is also a human being. She must be free to select whatever she likes. Life is never going to be easy.

Common english words that most desis pronounce incorrectly
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Re: second-wife

well then u prolly wanna think real hard about who u choose as ur 4 th wife...u can wait for lil longer and see if something better comes along and go for that instead...

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Re: second-wife

well pcg, im sure its gonna be more than lust. The good wife should compromise and not become confrotational, that will only lead to her divorce.

If it was more than lust, that's one thing. If there is war conditions out there, then fine. If she's needy and has nowhere to go and we can't employ her, and society wont employ her, because of harsh conditions or tyrannical rule or whatever, then fine.

Such conditions aren't common today. At least not where you and I live.

Haan, if you are in an African tribe, then its different social dynamics. Things change when you are starving.

And frankly, I dont see how divorce is bad in this kind of a situation.

why is relationship based on lust the most irreligous of unions??

Read the Quran.

K337, Khumar and sheyn
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Re: second-wife

Interestingly, here is Leanna Wolfe’s story. She in in a polyamorous marriage, and the way she describes it is that its basically like a polygamous marriage, except her “co-wife” does not have a legal marriage contract with her husband.

http://www.laps.org/adcowife.html

Interesting read. She compares her “poly” marriage to polygamous marraiges of Africa. She’s an anthropologist.

47

Re: second-wife

Thanks again....

Now,

If I find 3 girls at the age of 55 that were JUST made for me. (I said IF)
Then what should I do?

48

Re: second-wife

wait..so ur saying..i cant marry someone because i really want to **** her?? i dont think the Quran prohibts that..marrriage can definately just be based on physical attraction..its most likely going to be an unsuccessful marriage but a legit one nonetheless

49

Re: second-wife

umer...well ask urself...what do u want to do? dont let strangers on the internet make decision on ur behalf

50

Re: second-wife

Lussi, read Surah Nisaa. Cheers.

51

Re: second-wife

well why u dont u just post the relevent ayats here...

52

Re: second-wife

You will benefit a great deal by reading Surah Nisaa. Jao Shahbash. Get off your lazy duff and be a real muslim.

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Re: second-wife

In some parts of India, Nepal, Sri Lanka and Tibet polyandrous relationships r common. And I'm not referring to de facto realtionship. It's somehow recognized by those small communities. I wonder what's the logic behind a polyandrous relationship and hows it different from polygamous relationship in terms of their motives and functions.

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Re: second-wife

As far as I remember… in a very high profile case in supreme court of Pakistan, it was recognized by the court that an adult girl can marry without the consent of wali..I don’t know the details…But saying that a girl can’t marry without wali’s consent is probably misleading..

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Re: second-wife

omg - LUSSI - get back in the darn closet. I thought I locked that darn thing. We understand and get it, you have no control over yourself whatsoever. Two pills for hypertension are good for your heart, but taking twenty at once can kill you. So can women if you use more that one at a time, keep that in mind. I would even venture to say that if you ever dared have more than one wife, you would have the same kind of peace in your house that Iraq currently enjoys today, three would kill you. Shallow people never do well in those siuations, you would dry up over night.

Umer - my advice to you is not to get married, since it seems that you are quite fickle wanting 7 women that you were just made for and couldn't live without.

walking away and muttering

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I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut.:zip:

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Re: second-wife

Thanks for your guidance minah_pa. I was just trying to make my point.

----> TimePass
----> TimePass
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Re: second-wife

I am beginning to appreciate your wisdom and love your clarity of thought. Since I am married, can I express what I like in you? Or I might have some vicious desires to apreciate you, right? No one can tell. As I have already said that remaining platonic is seriously restricted to the demonstration of sexiness of the other person. If men and women keep their outlook modest, write it down that they will not be advanced against. Ah, I am getting derailed.
Coming back to the topic, the decision of the girl could be right and wrong depending upon the intention of marrying and the reason for falling in love. As you have wisely said that if it is for the lust that they have married, they SHALL pay for it. I have seen families where polygamy hasnt been disastrous enough. Sometimes it works as well but again its the intention that counts. Allah surely is watchful and He gives the devil his due.
Without wali marriage is possible. I might belong to Hanafi school of thought but I dont actively know that I am but since somebody pointed out that its only them who allow it, I might be one of them.
One thing that keeps my mind boggling is the ritual of marriage itself in Islam. Have any one of you pondered what does get recited in Nikaah? Marry cuz fallan married, marry cuz fallan also married…Does this give any sanctity to the entire affair? Wallah alam. This banging thing is too mysterious.

59

Re: second-wife

Well, PCG - I believe I mentioned in another thread that I know a Pakistani Muslim man who has two wives living here in the United States - a Pakistani wife and a Gora. All live together and share duties. It helps that the wives really like each other and cooperate raising the children. He works and so does the Gora wife, while the Pakistani wife stays home. The Gora wife also drives and does all the pick-ups from school and drop offs, plus all the various things with the Pakistani wife like shopping and Dr. appointments.

Neither woman is unhappy and all the children live with their father, who is a wonderful man (even though I don't agree with his choices). I may not choose that lifestyle for myself and neither would others, but for some people it is workable. It takes hard work and a lot of patience to make something like this work, but it is doable as long as all parties agree and it is done in a mature way between everyone.

Getting horny and marrying for the sake of hving sex is ridiculous.

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Re: second-wife

Seeing as I havent had time to read the two pages of this post (just the few posts above) I would just like to add my two wife story
married man from Paks came to uk, claimed asylum and when he was given papers to travel he went to Karachi to meet a freind and within a few weeks he married the friends sister...imported he to the UK and they are both living in marital bliss (ie she cooks and cleans for him) Wifey no. 1 found out (damn those gossips) so Mr Man told her that wifey 2 was a brit who he married in order to stay in the UK, wifey 1 was pleased by this story and is awaiting the day when she too can join her hubby.
wifey 2 has been told that wifey one and her kids will never come to the UK. Mr Man is secretly arranging their travel arrangements...

sometimes real life is more exciting than tv dramas