In my boys group there are more girls who are secretly dating two guys and I frequently see these young men bawling over being cheated on. When I was in Pak an industrialist friend of mine was an extreme playboy, they are worth in hundreds of millions and he had been with scores of women many married a few of these women were associating with several males. This is not a judgemental society and people dont care how many men or women a girl is with. My boys best friend is a bi and absolutely no one judges her. When I was in Pak almost every wall had ads of mardaana kamzoori, sande ka teil, rohani ilaj etc so honestly looking at the physiological stats if an average guy can keep one woman happy he is doing good. Polygamy comes from the mind set of women as possessions and inferior. A man with plural marriages here would be a spectacle also. The VP of my corp is a single woman, we have many females at our corp who are senior managers. One of my renter is a single mom PM making 120k/yr…NO!! marriage to a misogynist is not a gift to a woman, none of the women I know would consider a misogynist. If a woman chose to marry a misogynist he should be thanking the desi culture as without it many wouldn’t have a wife.
In most cases where the desi women are standing up against put downs and emotional and psychological abuses they are told hey look they are getting influenced by the bad western values. A good desi girl takes chit quietly and thanks her demi god after every single niwala.
It is true that a rich and famous woman can be attracted to more than one person at a time. It is highly unlikely though she would brag about it on National Geographic or on BBC. There are several such rich and famous men though.
The idea of relationship with a woman without marriage is misogynistic. Again, this is just my opinion and no one has to agree with me but having a second wife is quite a palatable arrangement with adequate
protections for the first wife.
There are commercial interests and therefore marketing research firms promote such short-term coupling lifestyles.
If they had a tiny weiner than they would brag to overcompensate also. Real strong classy men are like Ryan Gosling who is the most sought after celebrity and chooses to appreciate his wife publicly when glory is bestowed upon him. I dont think you have ever connected with a western person on a personal level. I would choose a true loving relationship over sex with dozens. I spoke with my boy also and he said he is looking for relationship also.
The African Savanna biome is a tropical grassland in Africa between latitude 15° North and 30 degrees S and longitude 15 degrees W and 40° West. It covers Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Cote D’ivore, Ghana, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Angola, Uganda, Rwanda, Burundi, Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Botswana, and South Africa.
Annual rainfall in the African Savanna is about the same as that of Wisconsin. During the rainy season, beginning in May and ending in November, they get fifteen to twenty-five inches of rain a month. In the dry season they only get about four inches of rain. The dry season occurs more then seven months of the year, from October to March in the southern hemisphere and April to September in the northern hemisphere. The dry season comes in the low sun period and the wet season comes in the high sun period. They have a wet-dry tropical climate.
Some of the polyandry/polygamy issues stem from eons ago - before any of the Abrahamic faiths mentioned it. Thousands and thousands of years ago, the first humans most probably practiced polygyny, why? Men don’t do a lot in the department of child-rearing. It’s more “expensive” for the survival of a tribe/clan if they practice polyandry (woman gets pregnant - she’s not ‘usable’ for another child for 9-24 months - that’s including child-rearing, bfeeding etc etc). Also, according to some anthropologists, there’s this sexual frustration theory…or something like that, I forget the exact name, where if a woman is pregnant + rearing her child, most likely she has less time for intimate relations with her husband. Multiple wives erase that problem. So… for eons polgyny has ruled and that’s where the survival of mankind really relied.
As for modern-day… monogamy only recently became the marriage practice of choice for people and that too due to colonialism, and their thinking of “fixing the savages”. Otherwise, polygamy was doing just fine everywhere else in the world. At the end of the say, who’s to say one way is better over the other? Western statistics (where everyone is monogamous) on mistresses/cheating/affairs are insane.
Whatever anyone decides to do - as long as the parties involved are ok with it, cool. Otherwise, we shouldn’t label any as more/less optimal than the other.
Slavery went on forever, war captives were raped, women and children were enslaved, men could have sex with slaves also, look at the bad west they put a kibosh on the dirty old mans fun yeah and the world was flat forever and they had to go say it is round..lol. It is about gender equality, what is good for one gender should be good for the other. No you cant marry 8 yr olds because that went on forever, you don’t stone gays because that went on for ever, you don’t flog women because she chose to dress as per will, you don’t blame rape victims and flog them publicly. Yupp!!dirty old west is upto no good again.
Most wouldn’t do a DNA test…but, it is what it is.
By issues, Women who sleep with more than one man, for long periods do develop vaginal issues. And not speaking of STD’s either…actual health related issues.
I enjoy cheesecake, but if I eat daily I’ll blow up like a balloon…doesn’t make it right lol.
I will say plainly…I would
Judge a women, as I do now, for being with more than one man at a time. Wrong is wrong. Women already are losing their values…feminism my foot. I don’t want to be treated equally…I want to be treated better than a man…and the only way he can do that is if I let him be a man. Having a second wife in my house? No way.
But, it’s allowed. There are rules for women and men for many reasons…and they are there to protect us…men and women. However, unless the second wife intentionally caused problems between the first wife and husband or between themselves..it should be fine AND the husband did right by both of them. In a perfect world…this would be. But, people have opinions and that’s that. Again, she’s not a home wrecker…and the first wife should agree and if she does, then she doesn’t need to cause issues either.
I can see how a plural marriage could strengthen a person, teaches them to not be jealous, envious, how to accommodate and be a family. If one wife has to run an errand the other can help with kids. If one wife is cooking the other can clean. Etc. There will be moments of jealousy, resentment etc between them. But, lay out the rules of what is expected beforehand and adhere to them.
We have laws for a reason…we should make laws in our home to keep peace and harmony as well.
Anyway…that’s my two cents.
Have not read posts in this thread except a few. @Bobby1, thought I should clear the misconception that slavery and aex slavery was widely practiced in the middle east before Islam. It was actually Islam that discouraged all kinds of slavery. Slave owners were encouraged to free their slaves (children, men, women, beduins). The prophet set an example by freeing his own slave Bilal RA I think? There is alot more information you can find on the subject of how as more and more arabs accepted islam, they freed the war and other slaves. Islam set the example and offered rewards for those who did. The practice was so deep rooted in the middle eastern cultures prior to islam. Then as islam and islamic practices spread to other regions of the world, this practice of freeing slaves was also adopted by people from other cultures, regions and religions whereever it was practiced. That is how slavery came to an end in all the cultures of the world. Please do some research. There is a long lecture over the subjext by mr. Ghamidi. Please look for it if you dont believe me because I could not mention any dates, time or any references to support it. The west and systems that claim to be better than islam are so because those cultures ans systems picked the best practices of the major religions including Islam.
I know there is modern day slavery which still exists in muslim especially muslim arab cultures but it is not because islam encouraged or allowed it but it is because islam is not fully adopted by many muslim cultures & they still follow the jaahil trends.
I have read the Quran end to end and also Sahi Bukhari and haven’t come across any hadith or verse banning slavery or sex with slave girls. Yes it is encouraged to free slaves but slavery was never banned. If you come across any such verse I would welcome the information. In the Holy book the slave girls are referred to as ma malakat aymanukum meaning the women your right hand posses. Slavery was okay as per the times but the true spirit of Islam would ban it for todays environment. There are many examples of laws changing as appropriate for the time. Drinking was allowed then it was banned, donkey meat was allowed then it was banned, mutta was even allowed in Abu Bakar RA time then it was banned by Hadrat Umer RA. As long as we stay true to the basic tenets of faith there is no restriction of changing many laws as per requirements of time as hadrat Umer showed by banning mutta even though Hadrat Au Bakar allowed it. Four wives were allowed, use of slave women was allowed as many men died in war and there were more women and Muslim population was low and needed to grow. Things have changed and in the true spirit of Islam the law should change too. Men and women are in equal numbers now and there is no cause for adding to the population. Christianity adapted as per current times.
Slavery was a way of life. Slave trade was one of the biggest in those times as I said deeply rooted.. so deep that it would have been impossible to ban it abtruptly. It was discouraged in order to make the society adapt to the trend. I have not read any hadees books because there are too many unauthentic hadees in major hadees books (One being the second coming of Jesus & there are alot more). So those hadees books are not reliable source of information. Only & only quran. Since the prophet discouraged it by word and action then there must be some verse about it in the Quran.
Point of mentioning was that you should research more on this. I have not read alot of islam but i do remember reading several references in different Islamic books talking in a good way about people who freed slaves in those times. Must be due to the human slave trade being the main trade in the region in pre-islamic era. So much so that most people were dependent on the trade to survive themselves. Now ofcourse I avoid getting my information from hate-filled places with clear bias towards islam and to give out a twisted, negative outlook with an aim to brainwash people instead of correct information. Im sure with more research, you will discover more and give credit to islam for eradicating all kinds of slavery.
And I advice people to stay away from hadees books because those books were written a century after the prophet’s demise. If I tell you something today and you narrate it to someone else a few hours later, you will never be able to narrate it exactly as I said something. Then how can you expect all the hadees which were written 3 generations later by people who never met the prophet in their life time to not have sny mistake? So those cannot be reliable like quran verses. So it is better to take islamic knowledge only from quran and the prophet’s last address as per the prophet’s own advice. All the other sources are not reliable.
My friend so the point I am making is that yes slavery was deep rooted, it was permissible also and then muslims opted to abolish it. Mutta was allowed too and then abolished so in the same spirit there is no reason why we can’t abolish polygamy and change family laws to protect women.
Funny thing is every Muslim woman says the same thing, they are okay with it as long as it is not in their home…your judgement does not make right or wrong, if someone judges you then does it make you wrong. If all parties can chose to be okay with polygamy then where is the problem with all parties involved agreeing on polyandry, is the problem that you will judge them as bad women? Pls go feminism my foot to the 8 yr old getting forced to marry a 70 yr old pervert in Saudia or to victims of honor killings and to women who are not allowed to drive or to women who are forced to dress against their will. Sex with slave girls was allowed also so lets re institute that too.
Helllooo, sorry I did not read the OP and most of the posts. Only quickly skimmed through… From the title, it seemed someone gathering approval from readers for his second marriage and opinion about his second wife & the conversation somehow lead to slavery in Islam.
Now read your post about women being the head of the family & being allowed to marry several men. Very funny thing I read in a while. Still laughing. I dont know how that could happen but looking at so many men behaving like women, guess the idea is not so far fetched as such men provide every opportunity to some women take up the mens role much better & all the perks that come with it
I would not have been extremely difficult for humans to accomplish on their own. However, Mohammad claimed divine guidance. Assuming muslims were helped by angels in Battle of Badr, allah could have helped with ending the slave trade also.
Not sure why you’re talking about sex slaves and all that. The topic is second wife
Home wrecker. Stay on point.
I’m sure there are a billion woman who say what I have said. And I’m sure there are 1000’s who want a plural life as well or agree to it.
It is a very difficult decision to make and it’s up to that family to decide. Who are we to tell them they are wrong?
I would much rather see two wives with one man than two whores with one man. Just saying. There’s respect that comes with marriage and there’s disrespect that comes with being a whore.
Current research shows that women are major decision makers in the west they also aren’t sexually harrasing men who happen to work underneath them Merkel seems to be the moral leader of the world and seems to be doing better than the putty grabbing DT. Funny abandoning faith doesn’t always lead to abandoning misogyny. I have more single females buying houses than single guys they are better at managing finances
I m against polygamy and polyandry but if polygamy is allowed then to be fair polyandry should be allowed also
Essentially to perhaps get you current with times it is an era of gender neutrality my boys are tougher than nails but they are also kind and cook and clean
