What about it? ffs you people think I'm going to dump them off at the poor house and lock up wifey...
^Who knows? That might be a better fate.
Win-win? How could you EVER have thought it would be a win-win situation when EVERY single person involved in this equation (you, your wife, your son, your girlfriend) is going to lose something?
Maybe you think that financial support and the security of "still" having the title of "Mrs." is enough for your wife...or that it's enough of a win. But, like I said before, it's the emotional consequences that will be the toughest to deal with.........YES even for the wife who keeps it bottled up and puts on a fake smile........and YES even for the wife who is expressive of her emotions.
And then a tiny part of me wonders if maybe you should just go ahead with this.....and that way.....if your first wife has been feeling trapped, she just migt wake up and realize that she's worth so much more. And in that case...if she were to split from you...I wonder how you'd respond. I'm not challenging you...I'm just curious.
you have all right to marry another lady........nothing wrong in it according to islam.....
Yes, he has the right. He doesn't even need his first wife's permission....heck he can marry Russian woman right now, if he wants. The purpose is to get him to think about the situation from all angles.
u r 23, there will b many women u will b attracted to, try to control your desires and focus on your wife, u can't marry every woman u see on a daily basis and exchange similar ideas with.
I am not twenty three, I can't tell you my exact age so let's assume its in-between 27-31, I have great self control, but everyman grows weak when your alone for 6 months, living in small apartment, freezing your arse off outside, not very fun in Moscow.
What's that old saying? What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Your poor wife is alone for 6 months as well, interesting how you think it's okay for her to be alone and not be lonely while you're away from each other.
Maybe you need to ensure that her loneliness is taken care of well...
I thought about it, could handle seeing her collapse emotionally? or if she remarried would I be able to handle myself? No I couldn't, I had some odd thoughts last night, I thought about my wife doing something rash to herself, I imagined she would kill herself when I broke the news, I imagined a jumble of scenarios and none ended well. I don't want to hurt her, but now I've made a commitment to this girl here in Moscow and the stress I've put on myself is incomprehensible.
This is why 19 yr olds have no business getting married.
I am not twenty three, I can't tell you my exact age so let's assume its in-between 27-31, I have great self control, but everyman grows weak when your alone for 6 months, living in small apartment, freezing your arse off outside, not very fun in Moscow.
I'm 29 and never had sexual intercourse. Beat that, punk.
I am not twenty three, I can't tell you my exact age so let's assume its in-between 27-31, I have great self control, but everyman grows weak when your alone for 6 months, living in small apartment, freezing your arse off outside, not very fun in Moscow.
so, you love to russian lady because of living away from your spouse for six month.
cmon man if you want to marry its ok.....
are you first man to have a second wife?
does islam forbid second marriage?
is it haram or makrooh?
I didnt read entire thread so if there is another twist in the story then please forgive me....
No twist just lots of repercussions for an action.
How long are u planning on staying in Russia or is it a permanent move (as in 6 months there for the rest of ur life)? Have you thought what would happen if you need to return to the UK, esp as in legal terms wife 2 wouldn't be official..
I am not twenty three, I can't tell you my exact age so let's assume its in-between 27-31, I have great self control, but everyman grows weak when your alone for 6 months, living in small apartment, freezing your arse off outside, not very fun in Moscow.
Better to change your job THAN to ruin the life of three people or maybe four (if you include yourself).
Look for some job in the UK so that you can stay 12 months in UK with your wife and son.
I am not twenty three, I can't tell you my exact age so let's assume its in-between 27-31, I have great self control, but everyman grows weak when your alone for 6 months, living in small apartment, freezing your arse off outside, not very fun in Moscow.
I've just developed even more respect for my dad who lived in Dubai (away from his family) for three years...for job purposes and had more discipline after SO many years of marriage. Wow.
why do you people have kids within a year of shadi when you say you dont LOVE your wife !
Please stand infront of a mirror, tell yourself how selfish you have been by ruining her life for the sake of your parents and make it clear to yourself Allah wont spare you on the day of judgement when you tell Him ’ ammi abbu ne mujay shadi pe majboor kiya tha’ !! you were 19 when you were ‘forced’ to get married, not 9 !
AND LASTLY stay assured you wont get a wife better than her and you will loose her anyway (even if she stays with you physically and doesnt ask for a divorce) ! YUCK ! what a man you are ! I pity her (and even the lady you think you love ; she is equally selfish who knows you are cheating on your wife and kid and still is willing to marry you) ! So be prepared for more surprises in your life !
If you believe in Allah swt...then you definitely believe this much.
You might not have been happy with the marriage but you still married her. She could have turned out to be a demon but she turned out to be the sweetest thing...by your own admission. You could have stayed away from her but you had a son. She knows you don't love her but she still loves you...by your own admission.
Do you see a pattern here? You might have been pushed into a marriage you didn't want but Allah swt gave you a great partner.
Oh, and not only am I alone sexually....I have now lost all my friends here, cuz they can't be trusted anymore. I dont have family here. I work 80-90 plus hours per week, NOT including the work I put in from home. I have no maid, so I do all my cooking and cleaning, and you knwo what I'm doing to keep a sane mind right now? I go to the gym and work-out in my spare time, and keep myself entertained with hobbies - listening to music, posting jokes, trolling around here, that sort of thing.
You CAN do it.
Why do you not look for a job closer to home that maybe pays less but doesn't involve you being away from your country for such long periods? Or look for jobs in some of these arab countries, where you could easily move her to be with you.
why do you people have kids within a year of shadi when you say you dont LOVE your wife !