Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
I like you muqawwee123 bro ... You are nice to your friends.
in your situation you can say the following things.
Friend: Can I borrow your car at odd times in the night?
You: Umm, I use it to go to work
Friend: Come on I really need it for my grandfather's brother's wife
You: Ok, but how will I get to work?
Friend: You can make some other arrangements can't you?
You: I tell you what, you book me a taxi and I'll lend you my car ...
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
If people are inconsiderate enough to misinterpret your situation and judge you off of a single 'no', they don't deserve to be a part of your life at all. It's good to be generous but a specific breed of cheapskates abuses any benevolence bestowed upon them.
As for the quality people who add significance to your life:
You should try to smile, be calm, firm, and confident when you say 'no' so the person doesn't insist any further (which I'm sure you do). Friends and relatives who consistently ask for favors or things to borrow simply need to be manipulated.
Use diplomatic expressions and word choice such as:
I'd prefer / prefer not to
It is important for me that..
Here's how I do it:
Make them feel special while at the same time, letting them know you sympathize with them, but their request is impossible for you to grant.** Elongate** the conversation to discuss their situation [even if you could careless], because it shows them you are interested and didn't plan on saying no at the very beginning. This demonstrates to them that you considered their request.
**Example: **Oh, tum apneh choteh bahee kaw lehne jawrahe ho? The one I met last year? Wow that's nice he's coming back. He's a good kid!
Try to refuse an offer or a request in an** impersonal way.** Instead of explaining your reasons right off the start, make it sound as if you will be going against your principles if you do what the person is asking you for. Otherwise, you wouldn't mind at all. Therefore, saying no would be okay because you're only abiding by your rules.
Example: Meh rawt k time car bawhir nahee le k jawta q k some friends who took my car previously had accidents at night time. So meh deta nahee hoon kissi kaw.. bowht bawr ho chukah hay don't want to take a risk again.
Example: I appreciate your invitation, but I never attend baby showers.
Even after you hear their entire story, expose all possible **defects **in their request. Ask questions you know the answers to, so that he/she notices that their answers contradict your principles.
Example: You: Haan, agur 12 seh pehleh leh k wahpis ajaw toh teek hay. Oh wait, when did you need the car? Him: After midnight. You: Ohh, pir toh mushkill hay as I already told you what I go by..
You can also show the person that your 'no' is in his best interest.
**Example: **Abi awj sooba recently brakes meh mazla hua hay.. Teek kurwani hay tum le k jawge toh family k saath it'd be a problem at night, and you'll have nowhere to go. I'm sure you wouldn't want that, would you now?
If the above doesn't work, then you should try to offer an alternative.
Example: Maybe you can call so-and-so and ask him for his car. I heard he's off from work nowadays. Call kur k pooch loh usseh..
At the very end of the conversation you should try to consolidate for saying no.
Example: Bring your wonderful family to our house someday. It'd be nice to meet them. Oh by the way, if you need to borrow my tennis racquet let me know.. :D
[Then you can apologize, as you did.] And so, by the end of conversation, you'll most likely see the person feeling okay with your refusal.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
**Example: **Oh, tum apneh choteh bahee kaw lehne jawrahe ho? The one I met last year? Wow that's nice he's coming back. He's a good kid!
Example: Meh rawt k time car bawhir nahee le k jawta q k some friends who took my car previously had accidents at night time. So meh deta nahee hoon kissi kaw.. bowht bawr ho chukah hay don't want to take a risk again.
Example: You: Haan, agur 12 seh pehleh leh k wahpis ajaw toh teek hay. Oh wait, when did you need the car? Him: After midnight. You: Ohh, pir toh mushkill hay as I already told you what I go by..
**Example: **Abi awj sooba recently brakes meh mazla hua hay.. Teek kurwani hay tum le k jawge toh family k saath it'd be a problem at night, and you'll have nowhere to go. I'm sure you wouldn't want that, would you now.
My goodness!
When you're already good with one language, must you seriously sculpt a trashcan out of a different one that you're not so good at?
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
Ok, then your answer had to be, “yaaaaaaaaaar!! you should have asked a bit earlier, abhi…just abhi abhi 10 min pehle mere cousin ne car maangi hay and I have already promised him!! 
…kaash Tu das min pehle phone kerleta”
kaisa!!!
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
honestly
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
My goodness!
When you're already good with one language, must you seriously sculpt a trashcan out of a different one that you're not so good at?
You love reading my posts and finding ways to quote me, don't you?
Anyway, I'm type Urdu as it sounds. I don't think there is an established set of rules for typing Urdu in English letters. If you find some, do let me know. :D
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
vaise, Muqwee…aapkii thread kaa title kuchh aisaa hai k qaare’iin ko kuchh aur hii gumaaN guzartaa hai. 
maGhrib meN is “NO” kaa matlab kuchh aur bhii hotaa hai is liye aapkii laRii kii surKhee:
saying “NO” - serious advice needed
kuchh aur hii ta’assur chhoRtaa hai…
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
Muqa bhai;
I have not read all of the posts but a car is not to be given to anyone. I learned that hard way.
Consider the car as a heavy mobile ‘weapon’.
One of my maid/cook totaled my car in the past and other did fender bender accident and gave my insurance info to other party.
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
there is a Transliteration scheme to write Hindi in roman script and i follow the same…since Urdu Has more and different sounds/alphabets which Hindi doesn’t have so i write a bit differently than Hindi transliteration scheme.
i had opened a thread on GS which wasn’t a success for some reason, probably no one wants to learn it. anyways, here is the link to thread. have a look if you are interested:
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
lols. The problem is he knows that I don’t have any cousin in Karachi or a friend who is that nearer to demand for car.
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
Baat qerzey ki hai 
How i can say No if i know his/her condition 
Jitna mujh se hu sakey ga i’ll do that..
Lekin ager baat help ki hai like sometimes poeple ask for help not qarza i can say No bt us ki condition ko dehktey huye…
App kisi ki help karein Allah sila deney wala hai 
Or han kuch logun ko mangney ki adat per jati hai so definitely i would like to say No 
Koi bahana tu banana parey ga
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
baqi baten choro, aap ne kaha kiya phir??
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
poori kahani suni aur pooch ‘Zulekha’ mard thi ke aurat 
Post 19 mulahza karen 
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
No harm in giving car, but the timing is odd.
Ok let me tell you complete scenario.
A friend said that I need your car to pick my brother from airport, who is coming with family and has luggage. This guy got a car at his home as well. I asked him that if the flight is early in night and you can return car by 12 night, I have no issue. (I restricted him for 12 as there was some complaint going by union in our building that people remain outside for longer time in night and all the night watch-man has to open main gate for cars. Further, I have to go to office in morning and I can't wait till early hours of morning for return of car).
When I text this to the guy, he replied 'Thanks for your conditional approval, but flight is in late hours. I'm going to arrange rent a car'. I replied 'Hope you understand and there are no harsh feelings'. In reply I got a message ' stop messaging me followed by a slang'. I knew the slang but reconfirmed 'slang?'. he said it again and then I've to given him shut-up call. See how inconsiderate people are and how it is difficult to say 'No'.
Thanks for taking me to post 19.... I skipped a few posts ... wasn't following the entire thread.
That's such a sick behavior from his side. You don't need to feel bad about it. But at least, now he knows, he can NOT contact you in future for any helps.. and I guess, that should be OK. Did he come back with any apology?
Keep the distance from such people who can NOT understand your situation!! If he is your friend....... he's not a good one.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
Thanks for taking me to post 19.... I skipped a few posts ... wasn't following the entire thread.
That's such a sick behavior from his side. You don't need to feel bad about it. But at least, now he knows, he can NOT contact you in future for any helps.. and I guess, that should be OK. Did he come back with any apology?
Keep the distance from such people who can NOT understand your situation!! If he is your friend....... he's not a good one.
No apology. he might be expecting an apology from my side for refusing him a favour.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
Also, you should have not made him a text on the first place. I mean, I can understand, you can not help such things in a telephonic conversations but if he had asked this in a text, what you had to do is to not reply him. The early morning, you could text him back saying, sorry, didnt read your message, I was sleeping and mob was on silent!!
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
That’s even more sickening. 
I would count him at right place only if he helped you in those times, when you really needed a help and no one lent you one but only he. Only then, his frustration can be understood.
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
This is not the case, but I don’t think that such things also justify rudeness given that he got other options as well. I was going to write him ’ With such behavior, you can’t even get a favour from your own brother’, but said to myself ‘mitti pao’ :cobra:
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
You did right.
My statement was not for justifying his behavior, I told you the possible scenarios how he could feel being pissed off and reacted such a way. But then again, you chose right thing to do!! :k:
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
NO...NAHI,...NHI ho sakta ..its easy see :p