Re: Roommate is a cookie monster
So, I've lived with non-desi and non-muslim girls my whole college/grad school life. Honestly, best decision of my life. Mainly because I wanted to make friends with the desi people, not enemies. And one bad experience with a roommate, and for sure she will tell everyone she knows and you know what? I figured, all the guys would find out and never think of proposing to me. Silly idea, of course, because they managed to figure out not to propose to me all by themselves.
Anyway, I truly never wanted to come home to desi drama, and figured it would be better to live with people I didn't know and wasn't friends with, because its easier to set rules with strangers and hate strangers for breaking those rules, than to live with friends, and then friendships fall apart.
So every roommate I've had - never knew her. We set up the rules before signing any leases.
Roommate One: College dorm - she lived with me for 3 months because her roommate was on weed and littered her floor with dirty underwear driving her out and into my abode as I didn't have a roommate first year out of lucky coincidence. She was suicidal, and depressed. Didn't see her after she moved out at the end of the year. Literally. I think she took the plunge and killed herself. Very narcissistic, constantly complaining, very negative, very depressed. Was a total downer. I talked to her as little as possible, and coicidentally, that was the year I became an addict of GS's DigiChat. I preferred my online friends over that freak.
Year 2 College: 3 roommates. One, who I shared a room with - Decent girl overall. Kept to herself. Typed really loudly due to long nails. Very low self-esteem. Stalker boyfriend from Chicago who would yell abuses at me when I said she wasn't there (while she cowered in her bed not wanting to talk to him). She dumped him, found another guy. They made out too much on campus, but were respectful not to take up our room space since I studied in my room a lot. Other two girls - in another room. Became some of my best friends ever.
Year 3: Other two girls in other room - kept the same. Still best friends. New girl in my room. We laid out the rules. She broke every one of them. Promised she was clean - she wasn't. Didn't change her bedsheets even once during the semester, until I TOLD HER TO. Debated with me all night long on religion one night, after which I had to lay down rules about our conversations being limited, so that I didn't FAIL my exams! Ironically, we became best of friends, because despite her bad habits, she was such a good person at heart.
Year 4: My roommate was the previous suitemate. We got along fine, except she was an athelete and needed her beauty sleep and even the glare of a comp would wake her up. Didn't work out well when I was on deadlines for my thesis. Otherwise, we are still great friends. Other two girls in the other room kept to themselves. Good old people overall. No problems.
Moved back to my parents home while I worked.
Year 1-3 of grad school: White girl, Christian Protestant orthodox, overall good roommate. She was intent on converting me to Christianity, which I had to ignore. By year 3 we were pretty tired of each other and not in the mood to "work on things" because its not like we were married. She wanted to live with another Christian girl, I wanted the bible-thumping and the bible-music to stop, and we both had very different schedules by year 3 so that when I was relaxed she was not and she would be jealous of me; and when I was busy, she had it easy, and so I was jealous of her. At least I think that's what happened. So we parted ways, and we're still in touch as good friends.
Year 4: MY FIRST NIGHTMARE ROOMMATE EVER. Also white American. Seemed like a perfectly nice girl, but has broken every agreement we agreed upon. Her BF likes to live here apparently, and I had to put my foot down on that. She fights over every penny of the electric bill - also annoying. She moved around my stuff without asking me EVERY WEEK, so that I was nosediving in cabinets looking for my stuff. Signed a lease and then AFTERWARDS tells me she is waitlisted elsewhere and is planning on deserting the lease to leave to another school if she gets an offer, which I thought was pretty selfish and underhanded. Least she could have done was be honest with me on this day one, and maybe I would have chosen another girl to live with, as there were others interested in the place. And if there is ONE THING I HATE, it is selfish people. So clearly, she had a pattern of selfishness, showed no remorse when I pointed any of these things out, so I told her from now on, you only communicate to me via email so all your comments are recorded in writing and you can't go back on them. She and I play cat-mouse games with the A/C and heater. Otherwise, we just deal with it by not talking to each other anymore. I could care less what she does.
I am over roommates.
As soon as I can afford it, I'm getting my own place and living alone. I'd rather live alone, and have the privelege of inviting whoever I want, whenever I want over to my place, rather than tip-toe around other people's rules. Also, that ensures there is no way some colleague can gossip about me to other people I work with.
I suggest avoiding living with people who are in your program or who work with you, because they WILL GOSSIP even over the most silly things.
Like Roommate Grad school years 1-3, as sweet as she is, and as good friends as we still are...she went out with some girls early on in year one of grad school, and she only commented that I spent a Friday night after an exam in my apartment room watching a movie by myself. WHICH IS WHAT I DO TO UNWIND NORMALLY, AND IT IS NOT AN UNHEALTHY WAY OF UNWINDING.
Needless to say, it aroused an entire conversation of whether I am some antisocial creep or something. The roommate came back home and told me all about it, and till this day those same girls who backtalked about me still are not on good terms with me. They literally believe I'm some freak because I like to watch movies alone after some exam, instead of partying at some bar the way they do.
shrugs
NEVER live with people in your program. Not worth it.
You guys are geniuses of witticism.