So the conclusion is that the ABCD guys don't have a problem........its only mothers who want imported girl??
which brings me to the following question...
Are ABCD guy oppressed like desi girls?? Being married off against their wishes??
The mothers who want imported brides for their sons......what do they do with their daughters?
The ABCD girls themselves........don't they make any effort in resisting their mom's preference for imported girls? or is it that the girls are in on this with the mom??
All desi guys (whether ABCD or not) are oppressed when it comes to their marriage. The moms always want it their way. Pakistani Guys are really BECHARAY when it comes to their marriage :p
All desi guys (whether ABCD or not) are oppressed when it comes to their marriage. The moms always want it their way. Pakistani Guys are really BECHARAY when it comes to their marriage :p
Not really, some of them have women begging them to marry them... And stop berating mothers please; even if they mothers do act that way, they have every right to do so, its their son.
Not really, some of them have women begging them to marry them... And stop berating mothers please; even if they mothers do act that way, they have every right to do so, its their son.
Yes the mothers definitelty have all the right. But they tend to be very very unreasonable most of the time. Sad but true.
^ They gave birth to them, so they can be unreasonable. The way I look at it, I dont believe or would go for this "arranged rishta non-sense", but if I did, I would have no qualms making my mother happy, by choosing someone she likes. Think about it, if you are going the arranged route, why not make your mom happy too, because either way, you're marrying a total stranger. Marry the one your mom likes.
That's a cultural difference (one I like). Americans just aren't as formal. And "dressing up" is often a low priority. Of course, some people take this to a fault, but I also am not a fan of the constant pressure and comments that girls get about how their dressed in Pak.
I also resisted it especially when I was younger and studying. The intellectual in me did not want to validate the superficial side.
Dressed, and look like. The way I see it, most commonly, shalwar kameez are worn by girls there. And no one sews a plain shalwar kameez. Somehow, with them you ahve to wear certain kind of shoes and jewellery and what nots. The girls there have a "saloon" at every corner of the street that can do threading, waxing, bleaching for pennies and they can go whenever they want.
It's not the same in the west. We usually wear jeans and a tshirt, which is IMO more comfortable. I have an exam I am not giong to be worried about dressing up. I'd rather pull on a hoodie and jeans and walk out the door.
However, if the occasion called for it and I was wearing shalwar kameez, I would definitely dress up, as would any other girl not living in Pak would do.
like someone earlier said before... the ABCD guys or families are insecure for either of the reasons:
they have seen too many 'bad' girls/families around them
they themselves are not exactly 'good' and been doing things they wouldnt have dreamed of doing back home in Pakistan - just because they got carried away with the fact that independence does not mean deviation from ones own values and morals.
a couple living abroad for a great number of years but with their entire family back in Pak ..could have problems like peer pressure and insistence of marrying from within the family back home by their elders ...
now I wouldn't get into the definition of good and bad as that could turn into a long debate - in short everyone has their own criteria of morality ..sometimes confusedly blended with family rituals and cultural values. So they start judging people based on that with the generalization .. k bahir pali barhi hai to 'kharab' ho gayi ho gi ...
see generalization is BAD...i myself am not in favor of the drastic class demarcation of ABCDs and FOBs. IF you still respect your parents, are well educated, independent and basically good practising Muslims...what difference would it make if you are born and bred in the Britland US or Datthe Khoo for that matter ... :p
From what I know I think most guys would prefer to find wives in the States because they are more compatible, but their mothers/parents would like them to get one from Pakistan because the parents are more compatible with the girls from pakistan. If it were entirely up for the guy an ABCD he would go for ABCD girl just my personal experience with rishta dealing here.
From what I know I think most guys would prefer to find wives in the States because they are more compatible, but their mothers/parents would like them to get one from Pakistan because the parents are more compatible with the girls from pakistan. If it were entirely up for the guy an ABCD he would go for ABCD girl just my personal experience with rishta dealing here.
When moms do not like any girl in rishta process, mom is usually blamed.
In fact it could very well be that the guy also has reservation about the girl and is using his mom as an excuse.
But since guy may not be the one who had been on front end from beginning or was not allowed from girl side to be the 'frontier', he is saved from the wrath of girls who get rejected. ;)
Anyone who is not accepted should look for reasons to be rejected sincerely and be satisfied since that's all one can do anyways.
Have the chin up and move on.
After all in dating scenes, guys reject or dump girls too.
So the conclusion is that the ABCD guys don't have a problem........its only mothers who want imported girl??
which brings me to the following question...
Are ABCD guy oppressed like desi girls?? Being married off against their wishes??
The mothers who want imported brides for their sons......what do they do with their daughters?
The ABCD girls themselves........don't they make any effort in resisting their mom's preference for imported girls? or is it that the girls are in on this with the mom??
Finally Nomi.......kuch samaj ayee...zyada nahin lekin kuch to ayee.
Being a Pakistani girl i would like to say “duur k dhool suhany”, As ABCD families live there and they don’t know much aboput Pakistan they think that Pakistani girls are seedhi saadhi and they will adjust with them easily which is not the case
True. One of my cousins married a young girl from a village here. When she went abroad, the in-laws tried to keep her in control and pressurized her by holding on to her citizenship paperwork etc. but she was smarter then they thought she was. And today she is the most successful girl in their family, even though she had to go through a lot to get where she is.
I know of one ‘seedhi saadhi’ girl which the family in the US imported from Pakistan and she just went out of control in the open environment and azaadi of USA (like started going clubbing, late nights and not giving any importance to her in-laws and husband etc) and the expectations of the family were shattered.
I actually like to prefer a girl from Toronto where i live. I personally don’t think there is any need for us guys to go find rishta in Pakistan. In my opinion, girls over here much better understand how life is lived in North America or Europe. And i have high amount of disrespect for somebody who does everything under the table and then go Pakistan to find so called pure wife. Girls from west shouldn’t be compared to girls from Pakistan. Why? because a girl who lives in your region are already settled respectively and why bother going somewhere where you can find some amazing girls in terms of everything we might be looking for.
