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But what I don't understand is why the ABCD guys prefer Pakistani born girls......why is that?
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IMO they don't. You are talking about guys who are born and bred somewhere else and then are here to further their education. Or come from families that did not assimilate much into the American society to begin with.
Most ABCDs guys I know have married ABCDs and wanted to marry an ABCD just because of mere reason that they want their spouse to love baseball as much as them.
ABCD girls indeed have problems finding a good rishta in their respective countries. To me reasons are as follows:
ABCD guys are marrying outside the desi culture altogether. muslims and non-muslims
ABCD girl's parents and girls are not open to marrying outside the desi culture. They would not even consider a ristha from a Arab muslim. They want a brownie (term overheard)
Ive said this before and I will say it again............
No ABCD man I know **voluntarily **goes to Pakistan to get married.
Its usually his family who is looking for a girl to walk all over that takes him to Pakistan to find a doormat.
Even men that have only been here for 10 or so years prefer women here...but they cave under family pressure because its more important to find that simple si larki that will let MIL reign another 40 years.
Thats not to say their marriages arent successful or they're not happy now but a lot of them have a mental disconnect.
I think another reason ABCDs guys marry girls from Pakistan is because they marry girls who are much younger than them. Most of these girls have finished high school (metric) and then get married off while our girls go onto college. They are looking for fresh young trophy wives.
No ABCD man I know voluntarily goes to Pakistan to get married.
I agree.
Also from a few cases I've seen, sometimes these foreign guys have trouble finding a rishta themselves in the West and hence they come to Pakistan. The reasons for that are various, there could be a shortage of potential suitors in their area or they've pretty much done everything there is to do (sex. drugs, etc) and everyone knows them as the bad guy in town..making them come to Pakistan where they're given a clean slate.
I can't stand it when ABCD/BBCD or pakistani guys think girls not born in pakistan are not marriage material. I mean seriously, just because we have got British or American attached to us we are labelled no good. I am not saying not to marry in pakistan, u can if you want to but don't go around saying that the pakistani born girls are pure and we are some sort of sluts. B/c you guys may be "bad guys" as in done all the clubbing and what not and maybe come across girls doing the same but that does not mean all girls do it here. There are many good and shareef girls in western countries.
Also I would like to add, what about the sisters of ABCDs??? They must be bad girls to and not pure.
Frankly, I think it has nothing to do with the purity of lack thereof of ABCD girls as you mentioned. There are literally millions of girls in Pakistan who are "not shareef" when compared to some of the ABCD girls. It has more to do with compatibility. A more liberal girl from Pakistan would probably be more compatible to most pakistanis than most hijabis from US/UK/Canada.
it's not abcd guys preferring pakistani girls, it's their MOMS ; ) they force and manipulate and convince.
however, i think it is starting to change a little bit...we are starting to see some u know abcd-abcd couples...and honestly those marriages are the cool ones...with tameez waley kids...and both partners have respect for each other :p
Frankly, I think it has nothing to do with the purity of lack thereof of ABCD girls as you mentioned. There are literally millions of girls in Pakistan who are "not shareef" when compared to some of the ABCD girls. It has more to do with compatibility. A more liberal girl from Pakistan would probably be more compatible to most pakistanis than most hijabis from US/UK/Canada.
I understand you pov. Like I said in my post that I don't mind guys marrying in pakistan, of course if they find a suitable match it is all good. Its the tag that people put on Western girls that annoys me. Also the pure thing i was just using it from previous posts.
But what i don't understand is why the ABCD guys prefer Pakistani born girls......why is that?
ABCD men see it as an easy way to get nice clean girls. If they want to have these kind of girls in their own country, they will need to go through a lot of trouble and probably a lot of money too. To get Pakistani girls, they just need to show their passports.
I have to agree with you on that. The girls from Pakistan DO actually look a lot better than some of the ABCD girls. It could be due to proper maintenance as you mentioned or a number of other reasons. Another thing I found was that girls from Pakistan do have a better sense of fashion. It is pretty common to see ABCD girls go to college/mall/work wearing a pyjama and a hoodie, while a Pakistani girl would never be that shabbily dressed in public. Girls expect guys to be smartly dressed, don't you think the guys deserve the same?
Again, this does not apply to every single ABCD or Pakistani girl, so please do not attack the messenger.
What I gather from the rishtas approaching my family for me from the West is the reason that guys moms want to have a gharelu and sugghar bahu which is educated and can adjust in the western environment, yet caring for the in-laws, doing dishes, making home made roties etc. They want the bahus who are not aware of the wives rights in the West, have a clean background (which I do not know how they can be so sure of) etc. Besides, they can get a good girl from a good family just on the basis of the citizenship of US, Canada, UK irrespective of the education and other criteria of their sons as the girls and their families from Pakistan most likely would sacrifice all other criteria just to send their daughters to Amreeka or Canayda.
I know one example where it was known that the guy had been having a live-in relationship in US and had a bad character but he got a good proposal of a doctor girl from the extended family and when my dad asked the girl’s brother why they are marrying off the girl to the guy, he said that we know about the guy but he is family and we will be able to go to Amreeka because of our sister; the guy will be ok after the marriage. Jaahil thoughts
actually this is not true anymore. There are enough of pakistani boys available in USA for USA born/raised Pakistani girls.
But they are not readily available because they are scattered. They find it easy to find a suitable girl back home as compared to finding a suitable girl there in the US/ Canada. Pakistan is full of suitable girls and they can select the BEST from the lot.
When its easy to find a girl back home who they think is more shareef, seedhi, ghar basanay wali biwi, why they would be looking for girl in the US?
They only look for citizen girl in the US, if they do not have the greencard or citizenship and they need the girl to sponsor them. They can ignore every 'negatives' of the ABCD girl just for the sake of sponsorship. My aunty's son married a muslim afghan girl just for the sake of sponsorship (well the girl was at least Muslim).
If they have the citizenship, they prefer importing the shareef girl from back home. Simple.
Yes damn serious. It happened in my extended family. I felt really sorry for the girl :(
That is beyond jaahil!!! Just to be able to go to Amreeka, they are ready to ruin the girls life. If they really wanted to go just save up money and go, but they will be like who will get our visa done. Newsflash what if even after the wedding that guy doesn't help with the visa, you are not going but also ruined your sisters life.
That is beyond jaahil!!! Just to be able to go to Amreeka, they are ready to ruin the girls life. If they really wanted to go just save up money and go, but they will be like who will get our visa done. Newsflash what if even after the wedding that guy doesn't help with the visa, you are not going but also ruined your sisters life.
But they had been able to go to Amreeka because of their sister and bro-in-law. It was their luck. Actually none of the members had been to Amreeka and they so badly wanted their sister to marry off in Amreeka. But she is living ok now with her husband and children. But this happens and ABCD guys are able to get pure and shareef girls from Pakistan who are willing to accept them knowingly or unknowingly with all their past mistakes.
I have to agree with you on that. The girls from Pakistan DO actually look a lot better than some of the ABCD girls. It could be due to proper maintenance as you mentioned or a number of other reasons. Another thing I found was that girls from Pakistan do have a better sense of fashion. It is pretty common to see ABCD girls go to college/mall/work wearing a pyjama and a hoodie, while a Pakistani girl would never be that shabbily dressed in public. Girls expect guys to be smartly dressed, don't you think the guys deserve the same?
Again, this does not apply to every single ABCD or Pakistani girl, so please do not attack the messenger.
That's a cultural difference (one I like). Americans just aren't as formal. And "dressing up" is often a low priority. Of course, some people take this to a fault, but I also am not a fan of the constant pressure and comments that girls get about how their dressed in Pak.
I also resisted it especially when I was younger and studying. The intellectual in me did not want to validate the superficial side.
So the conclusion is that the ABCD guys don't have a problem........its only mothers who want imported girl??
which brings me to the following question...
Are ABCD guy oppressed like desi girls?? Being married off against their wishes??
The mothers who want imported brides for their sons......what do they do with their daughters?
The ABCD girls themselves........don't they make any effort in resisting their mom's preference for imported girls? or is it that the girls are in on this with the mom??
