Rishta problems of ABCD girls

[Khumar]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

@Xtron

I actually like to prefer a girl from Toronto where i live. I personally don’t think there is any need for us guys to go find rishta in Pakistan. In my opinion, girls over here much better understand how life is lived in North America or Europe. And i have high amount of disrespect for somebody who does everything under the table and then go Pakistan to find so called pure wife. Girls from west shouldn’t be compared to girls from Pakistan. Why? because a girl who lives in your region are already settled respectively and why bother going somewhere where you can find some amazing girls in terms of everything we might be looking for.

Are you sure you’re not a girl

ps :k:

[fat_spartan]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

So the conclusion is that the ABCD guys don't have a problem........its only mothers who want imported girl??

which brings me to the following question...

Are ABCD guy oppressed like desi girls?? Being married off against their wishes??

The mothers who want imported brides for their sons......what do they do with their daughters?

The ABCD girls themselves........don't they make any effort in resisting their mom's preference for imported girls? or is it that the girls are in on this with the mom??

From what I know, for the most part, the mother usually asks her son if he likes someone or has someone in mind himself. The son usually tells his mother that he does not have anyone in mind and is open to her suggestions.

[Shak]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

Also simple. As a guy who has been mostly raised away from Pak I'd rather marry a girl who lives where I do or who lives in any Western country Canada America bla bla. I'd have more in common with her in terms of my thought process, the way we live out our life here in terms havng do stuff on our own instead of having maids and servants, the way we're brought upto be independent, than a Pakistani in Pakistan.

At the end of the day its what a person prefers that matters.

[Omer259]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

@Shak09

Also simple. As a guy who has been mostly raised away from Pak I'd rather marry a girl who lives where I do or who lives in any Western country Canada America bla bla. I'd have more in common with her in terms of my thought process, the way we live out our life here in terms havng do stuff on our own instead of having maids and servants, the way we're brought upto be independent, than a Pakistani in Pakistan.

At the end of the day its what a person prefers that matters.

The Pakistanis living in Pakistan are just as independent as the people living outside. I am sure there would be people who are pampered with servants and maids, but I think the younger generation who have come to study to US/UK have learned how to perform some of the basic tasks that others in the west consider a sign of independence. Sure, we have servants and maids to look after our needs, but is it any different from desi mothers in US/UK taking care of the needs of their children such as cooking, cleaning etc.

[Niksik]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

^^ It's very different to have your mom take care of you vs a maid. You don't "order" your mom around. Your mom gives you tarbiyat. Girls become very dependent on everything being done for them, and while there's nothing wrong with all of that there..that's the culture there, the need, it gives employment to so many folks, but those girls have a hard time adjusting here because all of sudden they are responsible for everything...then they get depressed.

[white_light]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

The Pakistanis living in Pakistan are just as independent as the people living outside. I am sure there would be people who are pampered with servants and maids, but I think the younger generation who have come to study to US/UK have learned how to perform some of the basic tasks that others in the west consider a sign of independence. Sure, we have servants and maids to look after our needs, but is it any different from desi mothers in US/UK taking care of the needs of their children such as cooking, cleaning etc.

Omer, Really? Mom is a completely different persona than a maid, they cannot be compared, really you need to distangle them and learn to identify them as separate professions :D i don't know about you but I can't order my mom around.

[Xtron]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

@Murgi

Are you sure you’re not a girl

ps :k:

I have three sisters and wouldn’t think about any other girl differently.

[BlueBells]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

@Sara516

Nomi to answer your question…its because typically ABCD guys have done all the “bad” things that ABCD girls do (but nobody calls them bad boys) but then go to pakistan seeking “pure” girls. It’s this hypocrisy that pisses girls off.

I , too, used to hate this and worry about it but now I say good riddance. if someone thinks a certain way about you/who you are, why impress them?

Then again im also married and (hopefuly iA) will never be in that rishta situation ever again so I can say this freely

I second what Sara said. Guys usually prefer girls back home because they think they can get away with any kind of lifestyle they’ve spent here by going back and starting off with a clean slate by marrying an ‘innocent’ girl. Plus since the guy is from lets say, Amreeka and the girl is from Pakistan, she will be marrying up and it’s easier to control her.
Maybe it’s just me but I feel these marriages have declined over the years. I think girls back home are also becoming smarter and more educated about their rights, if anything they have become even better at dealing with these kinds of guys than ABCD’s.
Another factor why it might be declining is that the environment in Pakistan isn’t the same anymore. You are just as likely to come across a girl who is ‘not-so-innocent’ there as well.

[Omer259]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

Omer, Really? Mom is a completely different persona than a maid, they cannot be compared, really you need to distangle them and learn to identify them as separate professions :D i don't know about you but I can't order my mom around.

I am sorry, I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I am not comparing someone's mother to a maid. What I meant is that people living in the west cannot be considered independent if they cannot do a task unless their mother does it for them.

[Reha]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

I am sorry, I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I am not comparing someone's mother to a maid. What I meant is that people living in the west cannot be considered independent if they cannot do a task unless their mother does it for them.

We dont have our mothers or maids doing it all for us.

It really is as simple as that...there is no comparison between independence in the US and Pakistan. In Pak, even the most modest household will have a maid or two to help out with basic chores. Here, unless you're rolling in it its not affordable.

And since our mothers work more than half the time, they make their children as responsible and independent as possible at an early age.

I dont get this weird obsession with muqablay-bazi in everything.

[Spock]

Re: Rishta problems of ABCD girls

I know of one 'seedhi saadhi' girl which the family in the US imported from Pakistan and she just went out of control in the open environment and azaadi of USA (like started going clubbing, late nights and not giving any importance to her in-laws and husband etc) and the expectations of the family were shattered.

I know tonnes who didnt... seriously, this is the internet, anyone can make such claims... stop generalizing... azaadi of the USA? its not like girls have chains bolted to them in pakistan... werent you looking for a rishta guy in USA too? how would you like it if someone makes such a claim about you?