Rishta:confused about where i stand?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

lol @ coconuts :p

I don't think your dad should ask if his family liked you. I think he can say that you guys liked him and his family and say that they hope you all feel the same. But if you can get your dad to allow you to see each other a bit more before demanding contact, that would be good.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

I don't think he's thinking about proposing right now. They've only met recently. The question is whether or not they should continue to get to know each other. That's why I don't think they should read too much into anything right now, and also not be pushy about making decisions. He seems to like her, but he is probably taken aback by having to contact the parents and everything. The ABCD guys I know (including hubby and bros) just don't work that way, and will get overly anxious about it, leading to people losing interest.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

Then he must be taking time to decide whether to spend time with inspiron or not with the aim of getting to know each other better... This might be coz his family has some expectations from him regarding his proposal or might be any other reason...

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

^ Or maybe he's taken aback and avoiding the task of actually talking to the parents. He doesn't really want to do it, so he's procrastinating.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

I agree with this completely. This is why i was initially torn between just playing it completely cool with the risk of parents pushing him or say something like 'oh my parents are a little anxious and think you dont like us at all, i dont think this is the case so i would appreciate it if you could just let my dad know just so as we get to know eachother better everyone is happy'

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

^ n then,in his mind, your dad would be pushing for a commitment, 'because you like her so much, you even talked to me, so propose, propose!'...i definitely think this is freaking him out...but what i dont understand is why his family came over if not with the intention of proposing? what the hell?

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

^just to meet!

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

yes just to meet. the weird thing is.....he is also registered with a rishta wali aunty, we didnt meet through that but i know thats the case.

Maybe hes just massively freaking out?

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

why should the families meet? she needs her father permission to talk to him, fine, she's a girl, but he doesn't need his whole family to meet someone he's just getting to know better! he's a guy! His reputation is safe! I don't understand all the hala bulu and why his family cam over. he should have just asked her father is he could please get to know his daughter better, and that its.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

I don't think it's a massive freak out, inspiron. Relax. I also need to send you a PM -- will do so as soon as I can.

Sara, why shouldn't they meet? It's how it's worked out in the "arranged" marriages in our family. Initially the family meets, and then the guy and girl take it from there, and the families wait for word to take it further.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

ok thankyou sahar i look forward to your PM

The main issue here is............him contacting my dad this is what is holding the whole process in this weird limbo. Its scaring him and its making my parents lose interest.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

does you dad have those big bad moonchey (mustache)? If so, maybe he finds those scary! :hehe:

p.s. everything will be fine, you worry too much

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

ok Sahar, I don't know much about such a rishta process, i always thought the families meet only when the thing are to be finalized. the girl and guy talk after the rishta has already been finalized. Anyway, it doesn't matter what i know about this process, obviously what he did is the accepted norm. I would, however, tell you inspiron- to not freak out and leave it to Allah. There is actually nothing to freak out about.

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

haha no he doesnt! thanks for lightening the mood!

I hope InshaAllah everything will be fine.

I worry because i really like this guy :slight_smile:

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

This happens so many times with girls going for arranged marriage that they start getting good vibes about a guy (and start liking him based on all the obvious visible factors)... but arranged marriages are complicated because of the involvement and interference of families (which definitley has many many positive points)...

Just relax and consider yourself lucky that you had not been involved in the person for like 6 months or year when the letting go part can be much more difficult... We girls tend to take things veru emotionally and seriously while guys just play it cool... even if they like the girl, they tend to be very relaxed and take the matter easy... we should learn this from them :D

Hope everything works out fine for you INSHA ALLAH :)

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

may be he is feeling hesitation to call your dad directly as these things should be done by his parents ......or may be he is really busy these days & did not have much time........... or may be he is doing istikhara ...............

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

Or may be he is talking to other girls before deciding on which girl he should choose for knowing further :O The guys are like that, they can be talking to many girls at a time and the poor girl might think she is the ONLY ONE :(

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

or may be he’s taking a shower? :hmmm:

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

or may be xyz abasdkjf bla bla bla bla....

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Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?

or maybe he has contacted me all day yday and responded to a message this morning and thats it. homo.