Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
my dad said that on saturday he will contact him and i can imagine my dad being a bit pressurising so that scares me :S
if he is interested he wouldn't mind the 'pressurising'......so just chill.....
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
if he is interested he wouldn't mind the 'pressurising'......so just chill.....
doesn't this contradict with what you have said so far?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
doesn't this contradict with what you have said so far?
no...this 'pressurising' is from ur dad......not from u....and after a reasonable time.......get it?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
no...this 'pressurising' is from ur dad......not from u....and after a reasonable time.......get it?
Ok so the general consensus is from sahar and nomi is:
1) Keep our personal interactions light and fun with no pressure and to just give him space leave him be.
2) take all his interactions as a positive sign?
3) its ok for dad to call him on saturday and guage the situation
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Ok so the general consensus is from sahar and nomi is: 1) Keep our personal interactions light and fun with no pressure and to just give him space leave him be. 2) take all his interactions as a positive sign? 3) its ok for dad to call him on saturday and guage the situation
exactly
now get this thread locked before you get confused again :D
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
No please keep it open!!! its like my diary. Who knows what situation might change iA.
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
@inspiron : Wishing you the best of luck!! iA it'll all be good :)
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
@inspiron : Wishing you the best of luck!! iA it'll all be good :)
Thankyou so much! i appreciate all these duas sooooooooo much!!!
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Ok so the general consensus is from sahar and nomi is:
2) take all his interactions as a positive sign?
^That's a bit much. Friendly can somtimes be misconstrued as romantic interest...and that may not be the case. Or the interest may not be strong enough for a person to make the decision to get married. It's easier said than done, but compiling all his actions and putting them under a sign...is gonna drive you nuts. The overanalyzing can be stressful. Just tell yourself that you enjoyed his company...you had a good time...but that it's no guarantee that he wants to marry you....and that's okay because you wouldn't want to "settle" for someone who's not crazy about you. Just chill and keep busy. I think it's better to let him/his family contact you. Chasing him...hounding him about the issue can even give off an insecure vibe. Of course, this depends upon how you word things/approach him...but sometimes we're not aware of the messages that our body language/words may be sending. Just try to chill. Talk to your family about how long they think everyone should wait to hear back from this guy.
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Ok so the general consensus is from sahar and nomi is:
1) Keep our personal interactions light and fun with no pressure and to just give him space leave him be.
2) take all his interactions as a positive sign?
3) its ok for dad to call him on saturday and guage the situation
Inspiron, what is there for your dad to "pressure" him about? From my understanding of your earlier post, the call would just be about moving forward with meetings, to see if the rishta is suitable. So I think all your dad really should be saying is that it was nice meeting him and his family, and that it is okay with your parents if the two of you stay in touch/continue to meet. From there maybe it is best if the communication remains between you and the boy for now, until things are inshAllah ready to be official, at which point he or his parents or someone from his side should contact your parents.
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Inspiron, what is there for your dad to "pressure" him about? From my understanding of your earlier post, the call would just be about moving forward with meetings, to see if the rishta is suitable. So I think all your dad really should be saying is that it was nice meeting him and his family, and that it is okay with your parents if the two of you stay in touch/continue to meet. From there maybe it is best if the communication remains between you and the boy for now, until things are inshAllah ready to be official, at which point he or his parents or someone from his side should contact your parents.
Im scared my dad will say something like...'with the intention of marriage to him' and he will run scared
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
I think you probably need to talk to your parents about what their expectations are and why they want to call him at this point in the relationship.
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
I think you probably need to talk to your parents about what their expectations are and why they want to call him at this point in the relationship.
Ive already spoken to my dad in alot of detail about it like a 2 hour long convo, he agrees that this will be a yes that we go ahead and get to know eachother.
But he also says....he is NOT your boyfriend....i dont know what he means by this..?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
He doesn't want you seeing each other without the intent of marriage.
So if your parents are okay with you seeing each other, and you reassure them that it is only with marriage in mind, why does anyone (other than you) need to speak to him at the moment?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
He doesn't want you seeing each other without the intent of marriage.
So if your parents are okay with you seeing each other, and you reassure them that it is only with marriage in mind, why does anyone (other than you) need to speak to him at the moment?
This is what i think. However my parents dont agree, they want a yes from him and his family to them and then they will leave us be.
when i said they dont need to talk to him, I will, my dad said...fine set your wedding date and just post me the card :s so i was like erm ok we have to find a compromise
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
A "yes" about what?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
A "yes" about what?
yes that his family like me and my family. even though he has already said this to me my dad wants him to call my dad and say it directly to my dad.
The interaction first started through my dad so maybe thats why?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Yes, I suppose. And it is legitimate for your dad to want that, but if he doesn't get it, will he stop you guys from getting to know each other better?
Does this guy live on his own? Is he very "desi" and traditional in his upbringing and ways?
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Yes, I suppose. And it is legitimate for your dad to want that, but if he doesn't get it, will he stop you guys from getting to know each other better?
Does this guy live on his own? Is he very "desi" and traditional in his upbringing and ways?
If when my dad contacts him and this guy says no i didnt like your family...obv my dad isnt going to let us keep talking.
No this guy is not very desi at all. He has lived alone in london for about 5 years atleast. He is very very independent and his parents are chilled out. My parents still somehow expect him to understand desi ways of life. They are being irriating actually. I have told them they arent a very desi family and my parents are like if they are sooooooo undesified he isnt a good match....grrrr what the f***
They dont get it that this is my ideal man...im a coconut hes a coconut two coconuts together!
Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
If he is NOT very desi, the time he is taking may not be because of his family as his famnily might have left the decision to him... This means that he himself is taking time to decide to go ahead with the propose or not...