Re: Religious men
We ARE supposed to fall in love. After marriage.
Re: Religious men
ancient times-the romantic love we talk about was unheard of.....marriage was essentially a contract. however "lust" was a different thing. people married out of lust/virtue or status.
Re: Religious men
You people make me sick!
Re: Religious men
Love, in particular the “falling into” kind… is not rational…I’d argue this kind of “love” is not even sane (e.g. the love-at-first-sight kind of stupidity)…
Over time, we can grow fond of different kinds of people…now, if we grow so fond of someone that we’re willing to ignore or suppress things that are otherwise big show-stoppers for any kind of meaningful relationship…we’ve stepped over the line…imho…
Love certainly does NOT conquer all…
Re: Religious men
ji CrachDummie I am dumb thats why I asked a question.
Allah made the sexes attractive to each other but ordered us to hide from the opposite sex. I am pretty sure He is not too enthusiastic about a man and a woman falling in love before marriage. Most scholars of Islam will tell you that its forbidden even to look at or talk to a member of opposite sex. Do you then have a telepathic way of falling in love?
If your lust (or love) makes you selectively religious, its perfectly fine. Its only natural and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone falls at this point. But dont make it sound like your religion endorses this.
Re: Religious men
If you’re implying that the guy often has some kind of choice (i.e. goes rishta shopping), or is in a position of control…you’re wrong…it ain’t so…
When a guy goes over to a gir’s house, he can just as well get rejected. Not to mention that he is just as likely to be pressured into an arrangement…
Re: Religious men
^^lolz...yeah u r right..but i meant to just say that a guy and girl cant really get to KNOW each other and explore how much they have in common through these means of rishta fixing..
Re: Religious men
skhan, I am interested in knowing too ... how was Mohammed's marriage to Khadija a love marriage?
Re: Religious men
True…but over the past few years where I’ve seen friends and family get married, I noticed that you can never know each other enough…
I have a distant cousin who saw her husband for the first time (and he her) on the wedding day (!!!). Keep in mind that although born in Pakistan, she was rather mod. That marriage is rock solid, and the two are as happy as can be…I never thought it would last past the first week…
On the other hand, I know several people who have had love marriages…one of which ended in a very messy divorce.
I suppose we can never hope to know our partners inside out, but rather just know them enough to be comfortable with them…and I’d rather that be BEFORE the wedding night…
Re: Religious men
Mine wasnt the most religious union BUT I do know a friend who fell in love with a girl who was just passing by in a car with tinted windows! Just saw her and that was it, they got married. Now explain to me, how is that haram or not liked by Allah Mr.Smartasses-who-know-all-and-consider-themselves-religious?
Re: Religious men
Advice to women: Try to mold your husband within first six months of the marriage using powers of shock and awe seduction. Because after those six months to a year, the shock and awe will only generate yawns.
Why is this relevant to this thread?
Some religious men, like most men, have attraction for the glitzy, glamorous sexy modern women. They too want to feel and experience the taboo of being with a liberated woman.
But once they have experienced it to the fullest -- six months on the dot-- and found out the fuss was over-rated, they fall fack into their original position.
Re: Religious men
^ SO what are some shock and awe techniques?? 
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but i hear it takes years to mold ur husband. i guess the only thing i know is ummm just that u have to look good even if ur husband is a big fat slob. they like showing off their wives. unless, of course, hes really religious and wants u to cover up
Re: Religious men
I think its gross when men wanna show off their wives to the public.. thas sorta like pimpin it and thas skanky no matter what
Re: Religious men
why? they're just proud of having a good looking wife. i mean, i like showing him off to my girlfriends ahahah. but i make an extra effort to look better than him, so it keeps him on his toes
Re: Religious men
Now let’s be clear: both are Muslims? Cuz if not, that’s a whole different can of worms.
…now, why doesn’t the other l-word (luck) explain this situation? Methinks “love”, especialy the blind unthinking kind, gets to much credit…
Re: Religious men
Wanting to show off your wife is a bit weird.
Re: Religious men
And wanting to share that good looking wife with teh world, with strange guys and whatnot? Ew..
Re: Religious men
...trophy wives are called that for a reason...
Re: Religious men
I think that’s kind of the point. By selecting a female who one knows is more open and mod etc, a guy is giving the message “I’m okay with this lifestyle of yours”. After marrying a mod girl, and then FORCING her to become religious causes confusion and subsequently resentment. Its a typical reaction.
Now why was the woman so stupid in the first place? Depends - if it was an arranged marriage, then she might not have known so much about the guy and his family. Also, the in-laws might have hidden and smoothed over things, like maybe they MADE themselves seem open about things, but then after marriage, they changed their behavior deliberately.
Surprise, surprise. It happens with desis. We’re so messed up in the head as a race.