Thank you for your response. I really think you need to relax, step back and enjoy life a little more. Its good for your health you know... and with all of your 14,000 posts (which i hope dont average to be this long) i can only imagine what you do all day... But hey if this place allows you to vent then by all means.
While most of what you say i agree with, Im afraid you burn so much energy trying to make such a minor point....I know youre gonna flame me for calling it 'minor'.
Note to you: Dont ever even think of trying to embarass your husband in public... youll have something else coming! Bad Bad advice.... but then again you do sound like an angry soul (most people i imagine probably already know that).
Good luck to you...
Ps. If you dont like what i said, youre best of just ignoring me... because its quite possible that all im trying to do is rattle your cage and watch the show... So be careful. :)
I do apologize to you if i offended you... I have come to realize that mentioning the 14000 posts was uncalled for and even somewhat of a low blow. So please accept my apologies... I think its best if all i do is read your posts as an observer and not post anything.... Unsolicited advice to you as a brother:
Let things pass and dont get too emotionally distraught. this is only the internet where people pretend to be things they are not.
Sara no i am not a multinicker although ive been lurking on these boards for some time.
This will be my last post here for some time.
Salam
You can't really say that about the women. Sometimes they don't have a choice and only they know y they put up with it. A lot of them have no where else to turn, it's not always the best choice if they choose to stay quiet...but i certainly don't think it means they r weak.
Its called being afraid of losing someone because you love them.
Why is the women so stupid in the first place to marry someone who is so different? I know so many who are happily married to religious men and they are happy doing pardah. And why not? If a man is guiding you towards the right direction and you have the courage and right intentions then why not?
Well, I'll be more furious if these guys are telling their wives to dress improperly in public than covering. Think about it what would you prefer? About being abused, come on telling someone to behave and become spritual is mean and ruining their lives?
I think the problem has more to do with the misleading aspect prior to marriage. If you don't behave religious before you are married and show no qualms about how your partner dresses and then all of a sudden change when the nikkah is over and 'force' your partner to change as well, that is where the problem begins. It isn't encouragement which DD is talking about, it's pushing and forcing which is what people resent.
If you know someone is not religious from the get go, the smart thing to do would be to find someone on the same/similar spiritual level as you and vice versa. If you don't want to be with someone who is super strict, then you shouldn't marry them either.
People really should be up front about their expectations before marriage, not making it known when it's too late to back out.
^^ sara dont act like u are new to desi culture....do most arranged marriages take the common interests of both bride and groom into consideration? most traditional marriages have a guy checking out a girl through her picture, a wedding, a social event, going to her house and then the rishta is fixed. most of what the two sides know about each other is "sunni sunayi baatein" or what they have formally heard from people around...unless ofcourse in cases where the bride and groom HAVE known each other for a long time and where the bride and groom are given a chance (usually not long enough in my opnion) to get to know each other.
I consider myself a religious person and I fell deeply in love with someone and I think I do influence him into doing good things sometimes and he does the same for me. We dont force each other, we only suggest and it goes both ways.
And Your faith doesnt have anything to do with whether you fall in love or not.
Islam preaches total and complete segregation between sexes and has a zero tolerance policy in this regard. Is falling in love with a member of opposite sex, before shadi wadi, even a possibility for a real religious person?
Some people are so dumb, if Allah didnt want us to fall in love then why would he make us attractive to each other? If its so wrong, why did the Prophet (pbuh) fall in love?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love BUT its the things you might do in love that are haram.
What evidence to support that? His marriage to Bibi Khadija (ra) was not arranged but I don’t recall anything to say it was a love marriage either. From what I read, they were both impressed with each other’s reputation for being honourable and virtuous.
