I don't understand - what is so private in your lives that you want to hide from your cousins here or there or where ever? We all have our cousins outside & they are added in our lists too. Neither were we dying to add nor are we so intrigued by their lives to do so.
We just belong to family settings where cousins are considered your brothers-sisters partly. Most of the people here live in joint families & connect with each other very well. Since we all consider our cousins out of Pakistan as cousins the same way we would like to connect with them.
Many a times our relatives visited & all cousins & family would take days off from work to give them time, plan events, functions, get-togethers just for them to have fun equally. Mostly, at the end comments from these same people are that people here try to get into our lives whereas they are willing to give a major chunk of theirs happily. Similarly, if any of our family members visited them no one ever takes days off, gives time the same way. Wonder why but family priority is way too high for people here and that is taken as invasion by others.
I am sorry but i think it is pretty snobbish to avoid phone calls when some one from far away just wants to know how you're doing. I am pretty sure they don't call you every single day, they have their own lives too.
Let me tell you what we want to hide. When I was in Pakistan I changed my fb status as 'can't wait to be back in Canada' cuz I was missing my friends. My fasadi family started fasad saying how I couldn't wait to leave them. My dad obviously took their side and it created such drama over such a small issue. That is just one example of the kind of things I would personally want to avoid. Trust me, some people deserve to be kept blocked for life ...
There are ways on fb where you can limit what they can see. People that I have to add but do not want snooping in to my business are on limited profile. You can change the settings for that list to whatever you like and that is all they will be able to see.
Let me tell you what we want to hide. When I was in Pakistan I changed my fb status as 'can't wait to be back in Canada' cuz I was missing my friends. My fasadi family started fasad saying how I couldn't wait to leave them. My dad obviously took their side and it created such drama over such a small issue. That is just one example of the kind of things I would personally want to avoid. Trust me, some people deserve to be kept blocked for life ...
Well to be honest, that too is partly lack of courtesy. When you are visiting some one & staying with them, you shouldn't be giving them the impression that you are not enjoying and what to be out of it as soon as possible. If you still feel like doing it, there is a custom button on FB status, you could easily ignore this lot out of it. Why make them feel as inhospitable bunch of people?
Well you gotta be nice to your relatives, . Being good to our own kin is an important aspect of our faith. You may not realize it but a lot of your cousins prob look up to you and see you as a role model.
FB has made it easy in terms of sharing only certain information with certain people, just play around with your settings. I understand there may be info you wish to not share.
Or the best thing to do is just create a profile for family only, while keeping another more active main profile, problem solved. Keep your family profile safe and controversy free.
Be nice, don't hurt their feelings, show them you love them and are there for them. It's a cold harsh world out there, family is our refuge from it , it's a gift, ask those who have no relatives. I view all my extended family as a blessing, despite all the flaws (no one is perfect) their still my blood and I'd be there for them in an instant and vice versa.
I just added a cousin who just got married and moved to Germany, we've never met but we still chat on FB from time to time. I know that it's a great comfort to her knowing she has another married cousin to share stuff with. Plus she and her husband invited me to Frankfurt , so now I got a place to stay when I go to Germany.
You people! This is not about having to feel compatible with every single relative and it is not about being friends with everyone. No matter whether someone lives in Pakistan, Tanzania or the Southpole. Or the so valuable privacy of ours. And its definitely not about the dumb facebook which seems to be controlling people's lifes.
It is about basic manners and having the right genuine attitude.
You dont need to be close friends with your cousins or aunties. But this whole 'I love my privacy too much and dont have anything common with them, so why should I talk to them' concept is utter bull.
Op's relatives dont live anywhere near her, maybe once in a few years you see them and even then them wicked people behave nicely to you. When you talk to them over the phone, how much of your valuable private time does it cost you? A few minutes in a 24 hrs long day!? Only thing you need to do is ask how they are and thats pretty much it. But hey hum cool log haiN, we dont have time for that.
You do that to stangers as well? Somebody comes to you and just bees nice, do you then also say 'hey what do you have in common with me? Why you talking to me?'
If I were your relative I would completely ignore you, seeing this nasty attitude.
You people! This is not about having to feel compatible with every single relative and it is not about being friends with everyone. No matter whether someone lives in Pakistan, Tanzania or the Southpole. Or the so valuable privacy of ours. And its definitely not about the dumb facebook which seems to be controlling people's lifes.
It is about basic manners and having the right genuine attitude.
You dont need to be close friends with your cousins or aunties. But this whole 'I love my privacy too much and dont have anything common with them, so why should I talk to them' concept is utter bull.
Op's relatives dont live anywhere near her, maybe once in a few years you see them and even then them wicked people behave nicely to you. When you talk to them over the phone, how much of your valuable private time does it cost you? A few minutes in a 24 hrs long day!? Only thing you need to do is ask how they are and thats pretty much it. But hey hum cool log haiN, we dont have time for that.
You do that to stangers as well? Somebody comes to you and just bees nice, do you then also say 'hey what do you have in common with me? Why you talking to me?'
If I were your relative I would completely ignore you, seeing this nasty attitude.
Its funny how some of you are not interested in remaining in touch with your clingy cousins and care less about them but somehow you know how many fake accounts they have and what are the fake usernames.....perhaps you accidentally stumbled upon those accounts :)
