Re: Rape and marriage
It is simple, if the woman says no...its a no. How can one imagine forcing himself onto his own wife? Dont you love her and respect her wishes? Its not like she is telling you that you will never get it...its just one dang time. Get over it..take a cold shower, if that does not work use the internet and your hand.
Re: Rape and marriage
^ Well apparently it happens, esp if its the wedding night or somethin 
Re: Rape and marriage
Sara, have you bought my suparis yet? :)
Re: Rape and marriage
Not if she has no where to go and no one to support her.
Re: Rape and marriage
This doesn't make sense. I know of no legal system that can force a husband to a) start treating her wife properly and b) provide for her in spite of their (to say the least) differences.
You're convoluting two different problems...
Re: Rape and marriage
No its not two diffferent problems. Aisha is saying that proper support systems for women in dire need of help do not exist in abundance, and hence women stay in these relationships with these animals.
Re: Rape and marriage
If Rape means forced sexuall intercourse than its not equivalent of Zina.
For Zina (in islam) means sexual intercourse outside wedlock whether it be forced or agreed.
However, forced sexual intercourse within wedlock is totally unacceptable and is not allowed (its a crime). Islam asks spouse, to not decline their partners desire/will without valid reason, as they might look for other means of sexual satisfaction (specially men are vulnerable). But can refuse if they want, its similar to divorce thing.. though halaal but highly disliked.
Re: Rape and marriage
Yes there is rape within marriage, i m sure it happens in Pak. Most Paki women can not physically compete with men. So many men take advantage of it. Even though if the female complains about it, everyone in the society would still blame her and talk crap about her. So in Pak society, females dont wana ruin there rep so end up gettin raped again and again.
Re: Rape and marriage
PyariCgudia, It may sound like a bit off topic but it does have something to do with rape and marriage but I like your comment on this cos you do seem to be usinf your brains around here.
Tafsir of this ayat take from Mawdudi’s The Meaning of the Qur’an:
Book 10, page 137, footnote no. 94
“This verse explains why one is permitted to have conjugal relations with one’s slave-girls besides the wedded wives, and there is no restriction on their number. The same thing has also been stated in Surah An-Nisa:3; Al-Mu’minun:6; and Al-Ma’arij:30. In all these verses the slave-girls have been mentioned as a separate class from the wedded wives, and conjugal relations with them have been permitted. Moreover, verse 3 of Surah An-Nisa lays down the number of the wives as four, but neither has Allah fixed the number of the slave-girls in that verse nor made any allusion to their number in the other relevant verses. Here, of course, the Holy Prophet is being addressed and told: ‘It is no more lawful for you to take other women in marriage, or divorce any of the present wives and take another wife in her stead; slave-girls, however, are lawful.’ This shows no restriction has been imposed in respect of slave-girls.
Re: Rape and marriage
Rape in marriage is a disputable issue. I think that is the wrong term to describe but rather it should be domestic abuse if it is going to the extreme.
Marriage, like it or not for the likes of Ann Coulter here aka PCG, is based on the premise of sex unlike other relationships!
Re: Rape and marriage
Marriage, like it or not for the likes of Ann Coulter here aka PCG, is based on the premise of sex unlike other relationships!
Huh? You think I base Marriage on sex? But, I'm against unhealthy sex in a marriage, and sex that has a foundation of love and romance (which forceful sex is totally opposite of)...so how am I basing Marriage on sex?
Only guys who force their wives against their will/mood/foreplay are the ones who base marriage on sex.
Re: Rape and marriage
^ Get out of your stupid romantic novels and “Desperate Housewives” tales and smell the coffee!
Sex is part and parcel of marriage!
That’s how kids are produced dummy!
I don’t know about abcds here but I like many others i have found find this concept of “rape” inconsistent with marriage.
You can call it abuse if it is that serious but rape in marriage? 
Why did the woman marry the guy in the first place if she didn’t want sex and/or though he would “rape” her?
Re: Rape and marriage
ARGH
u from south india ?
Re: Rape and marriage
I think captain lota summed it up well.
Re: Rape and marriage
^ Technically Fret Wiz is right (the wife can refuse in case of religious matters / menstruation etc) but the hadeeth also tells us to treat spouse (both men and women) nicely.
It even extoled men for example on how could they sleep with a same women in the same bed at night if they are abusing (slapping them on face) at other times.
I think it depends more on how a person is raised and what kind of society do we live in.
Re: Rape and marriage
Maybe rape was the wrong word to use.. i think i explained before the exact scenario that I was referring to..
If a man is treating her right, hes fulfilling all his duties towards her, and she’s physically able to then i dont think she has any right to refuse.. I think u also have to look at the culture they live in and their upbringing.. women are (wrongfully) taught sex is bad, sex is evil, its a dirty thing, and if you enjoy it you’re a bad person and going to hell.. sex is used to produce only children.. i read an article on it here and it gave the xample of a woman who’d just been married and her friends asked her abt the wedding night, and she was happy and satisfied and later on they were saying “i always knew she was a slut.” So i’d say a lot of these women r victims of that stupid mentality.
Re: Rape and marriage
As far as I know it is advised that partners make up if they’ve had a fight, and not go to sleep angry with each other.
Treating a spouse nicely doesnt mean they can force themselves onto the given person. So no fret wizard isnt right.
Re: Rape and marriage
...and how are the legalisms preventing the promotion or creation of these social saftey nets? They don't. That's why they're two different problems.
No matter the leaglity, divorce must be made a viable option. Legally, it's already at that point. Socially, much work needs to be done.
Unless you're suggesting mind-altering chemicals...I don't see how an abusive husband can be made "good"...
Re: Rape and marriage
technically no in Islam.But our girls who are not very sexually active before marriage or sensual do feel very uncomfortable about sex.The smart thing to do: don't get married to someone you are not physcially attracted to.
Offtopic!