Not really. If you are mentioning one apparentl cause why can't I mention others?
You are attempting to link cheating to male or female friendships when we all know cheating isn't restricted to that at all. You have bosses cheating with co-workers, secretaries, inlaws pretty much every category.
The common denominator isn't a single cause. Its absurd to think that. The common denominator is a person who has no respect for the sacred relationship that is marriage.
Not in the sense you are accepting it. My point was one doesn't need to be somebody's friend to cheat, as is being argued in this thread. Cheating happens regardless of a standardised cause and can't be pinned down to one factor. Hence it is extremely naive to say that oh xyz has a female friend hence xyz will end up cheating. Its absurd. Its not a cause, its just a method cheaters take to cheat. A cause is something that causes A to turn into B. Friendships aren't that.
You have clearly chosen to not read or understand what I wrote.
^I think what he means is that although, yes, it is ONE factor, it does not account for the majority of infidelity cases and cannot be identified as the MAIN factor as is the case with smoking and lung cancer.
^I think what he means is that although, yes, it is ONE factor, it does not account for the majority of infidelity cases and cannot be identified as the MAIN factor as is the case with smoking and lung cancer.
Pretty much.
You see someone smoke, you can say oh he will get cancer most probably.
You look at someone who has a male or female friend, will anyone say ''oh he or she is a lying cheater?'' Its laughable logic.
Read again: ''Its not a cause, its just a method cheaters take to cheat. A cause is something that causes A to turn into B. Friendships aren't that.''
Well, i'll go back to same analogy, not all smokers develop lung cancer,** only a tiny minority does**, these are the people who are genetically susceptible to cancer and smoking triggers it.
Same goes with cheating. An individual prone to cheating under consucive circumstances will be more likely to cheat. It takes two to tango.
I have said this over and over again, there should NOT be the concept of "Allow" in a marriage. A marriage is built on trust and love, if there is no trust and love, your marriage is a hollow facade of a sham. With that said, one spouse has absolute authority to veto ANY type or kind of meet up. I've had my wife ask me that she doesn't like me hanging out with a female friend, she's even said "I know I'm being unreasonable but I just don't like it", she didn't tell me not to do it, she just told me she doesn't like it with ONE particular female, so I respected her feelings and stopped hanging out with that girl. Case closed.
You young, newly married kids need to get over this whole allow business and just learn to read the cues from your spouses and learn to respect each others' wishes.
Well, i'll go back to same analogy, not all smokers develop lung cancer,** only a tiny minority does**, these are the people who are genetically susceptible to cancer and smoking triggers it.
Same goes with cheating. ** An individual prone to cheating** under consucive circumstances will be more likely to cheat. It takes two to tango.
If you stop your sentence right there where I have put in bold then you are essentially agreeing to my point.
A cheater will cheat. He will cheat with co-workers, secetaries, bosses, babysitters(!), sister in laws.
Why? Because he/she is a cheater. The boss or co-workers or anything else isn't a CAUSE. Hence you can't say ''oh will you allow your wife to work under a male boss?'' or ''will you allow your wife to work with men?''
A cheater cheats because he wants to cheat. He doesn't think hmmmmm I have a female friend so I will cheat with her. Because then you're basically assuming that the female in question is waiting there lying ready for sex?
That would be lame logic I am afraid. You smoke a cig, you will get cancer. You want to cheat and have a female friend that wouldn't MEAN you will cheat as there is no guarantee she will want to help you cheat. Ergo its not a cause.
Dude, its absurd to think that the only factor in cheating is a person's inherent liability. There are other factors, permissive circumstances do increase the likelihood. There have been numerous studies of social networking breaking up relationships.
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You want to cheat and have a female friend that wouldn't MEAN you will cheat as there is no guarantee she will want to help you cheat.
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True but the more friends you meet, the more likely you will find one that will be prepared to help u cheat. Even physical features have been linked to cheating in studies.
Am afraid you are bringing the same logic as some religious people bring, if God wants to feed you, you will get fed, even if you are not working. But the evidence tells u that a professional is more likely to put food on the table than a school drop out.
Dude, its absurd to think that the only factor in cheating is a person's inherent liability. There are other factors, permissive circumstances do increase the likelihood. There have been numerous studies of social networking breaking up relationships.
What's the solution then?
Ban everything? Because if you wish to restrict friendships then start with everything. Otherwise we would be back at square one. It won't stop cheating. Only way it will 100% stop is if we have ZERO contact between men and women, and even then it will go on the sly.
Which means one thing which is the only deciding, note deciding, factor is a person's inability to keep it under control. You're being a classic apologist by saying ''oh ya know can't blame he/she as they couldn't control themselves''. That is not an excuse. What you are not realising is that when someone decides to cheat noone is forcing them to.
I am actually offended that people are thinking that others who have friends have low self control. Key is to know where boundaries are. In ANY relationship. Once those boundaries break then its NOT the relationships' fault its that person's.
That is absurd, come on mate I can equally say the more people you meet the more you will find someone to help you cheat. And those don’t have to be your friends. Those can be anyone, coworkers, colleagues, tutors, students, distant relatives. Which brings us back to the topic.
Anyway, what do physical features have to do with friendships? Someone can be hot and not be a friend.
Ban everything? Because if you wish to restrict friendships then start with everything. Otherwise we would be back at square one. It won't stop cheating. Only way it will 100% stop is if we have ZERO contact between men and women, and even then it will go on the sly.
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^Well, that's where, "to each his own", should come.
Every person and every society can and do decide for themselves what is an appropriate level of restriction. For many people, meeting alone with a friend is unacceptable & un necessary, it can always be done in presence of spouse, for others its Okay.
^Well, that's where, "to each his own", should come.
Every person and every society can and do decide for themselves what is an appropriate level of restriction. For many people, meeting alone with a friend is unacceptable & un necessary, it can always be done in presence of spouse, for others its Okay.
Dude, i am not passing a judgement on anyone. I am simply putting to you the “probability” of an action. A more desireable man, in wider social circle, in circumstances where is more likely to get away with it, will have a higher probability of cheating. A less desireable man, in an island of 5 women and 10 men will have less probability of cheating.
Dude, i am not passing a judgement on anyone. I am simply putting to you the "probability" of an action. A more desireable man, in wider social circle, in circumstances where is more likely to get away with it, will have a higher probability of cheating. A less desireable man, in an island of 5 women and 10 men will have less probability of cheating.
I agree on that, I am saying it doesn't have to be a friend. Because obviously someone is more likely to cheat with someone else who they find attractive. That's a moot point really.
I agree on that, I am saying it doesn't have to be a friend. Because obviously someone is more likely to cheat with someone else who they find attractive. That's a moot point really.
LOL, wouldn't it be so darn wonderful if you go up to any person you find attractive and start a jolly good affair with them?
I haven't read the entire thread. But I don't think you only have affair with people you find 'attractive'. Emotional affairs usually stem out of attachment you form with someone over a period.
I haven't read the entire thread. But I don't think you only have affair with people you find 'attractive'. Emotional affairs usually stem out of attachment you form with someone over a period.
Ab mai post like karnay ke ilava kis tarah agree karoon aap ke point se :(
