Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

Lifestyle Relationships
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[QUOTE]
Everything's gonna get better once those people stop getting** special treatment.**

[/QUOTE]

whooo ... ?

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So woo na jie waha phr … ap ne phr ker de na gareeeb logo wali baat … :cb:

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They used to call it Home Economic before you were born, Hattori San.

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Darpook mod bhai messages kyo edit ker diyaaayy … whom u r afraid off … :smack:

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

IMO PCG has made some very relevant observations.

Loved the stats from Sehshrish. Pak ahead of India 8/1000 vs 6/1000. Should we coin a metric - doctor yield?

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Forgot to add - wonder if sehshrish can pull up a study on pct leaving daactri in var countries. Nice out of box ( hats that cliche) thinking

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

Thanks for confirming:
*
You know that something went wrong in your education and self-enrichment process when you start looking down at people who have other priorities and/or ambitions in life.
*

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

I'm married to a "Lady Doctor". Yes she works hard, but she spends every waking minute with her daughter when she's not working. You know the only and IMO best consequence of her working hard? That I get to spend time with my daughter, not just sitting in front of the TV and once in a while gazing over at her like a vast majority of desi dads. I get to actually RAISE my daughter, KNOW her ins and outs. My wife working hard has forced me to be involve with raising my kid, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I think people who think that a woman can't juggle a career and home life are a bit naive. They are right if the husband is the typical "Pakistani (na)Mard" (hint) who is not interested in a family, just some servants and offspring. If a woman is married to a real man, who helps around the house and with his children, then the woman can most certainly balance a busy career and a fulfilling family life.

I've learned over the years that some people will just not 'get' it because they are uninvolved fathers/husbands, that's fine, they are happy sitting in front of the TV judging others but for the small minority like me, we know how good we have it. Frankly, we sort of like keeping this secret to ourselves. So Pakistani Mard and some of you other close minded desi men, please, do us a favor, don't marry doctors or lawyers or professionals. PLEASE, we NEED people like you to go around spewing your stupidity so that the good women out there are driven into the arms of us cool ones. You're doing a splendid job, keep at it, because once these wonderful, well rounded girls meet YOU, they are super impressed with men like me. So really, we owe you, thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

Now, PCG. She has a point, to some degree, but PCG, you have GOT to stop living in a black and white world and you have to recognize that the world is a big splotch of gray area. Different people have different needs, priorities, and obligations. You can't categorize people and their actions by your narrow definitions of what a professional woman should or shouldn't do. Additionally, being the professional you are, I sure hope you don't have a bedside manner like the personality that comes across here. You are blunt, rude, judgmental, and out of line. Perhaps, if you stop and think before you go off on people for what you consider unacceptable, maybe you wouldn't be single, bitter, and miserable.

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

I have an aunt whom is a doctor and I am very inspired by her, especially in how she manages to take care of her home, herself, and have a stellar career.

She is married so these are the pros I notice, I think the pros of marrying a doctor is usually the salary it allows you to have incentives such as hired help, you can have the privelege of affording extra care from nannies to maids, & for dinner parties you can have the meal catered from a restuarant. And you are married to someone with a good head on their shoulders in case of family emergencies.

Cons: Time restraints, maybe

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i think a doctor should marry a doctor, then its easy

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Maybe you and I read different PCG posts. I see lots of valid points in her posts.you may pick a sentence out of context and label her however you choose to. Just wanted to voice my opinion I find PCGs posts a breath of fresh air.

IMO no warnings called for here. But I digress.

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Aahmed love your posts. On this one, The last sentence is way beyond the line, IMO.

As for PCGs point, it needed to be made. And needed to be made repeatedly, IMO. We should not attack the messenger.

I am out. Did I say I love your posts?

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

I have the weekend off. I’m making bindhi, shrimps - a pound of it which will last a week easy, plus I’m going to offload some to this Pakistani boy who is new here and is literally starving and working ( :rolleyes: ). I’ve done my laundry, I’m folding now, I’ve changed my linens, I’m watching TV - a movie playing in the background, spent a little time this morning chatting with a guppan in chat room, went to the gym, grabbed a coffee from starbucks, refilled my gas tank and picked up my mail which I’m organizing now.

AND I did dishes. I made my own breakfast.

Let’s see… and it’s only 2 pm, and I’ve been up since roughly 10. I slept in.

Last night I got a crap load of reading in for work. I finished up everything at work except one task that I’m gonna take care of today that will involve me driving back to work to make a phone call since I can’t call out from here at home risking my phone number being divulged to people.

**So…anyone want me to help them with their work, because I’ve got so much time on my hands despite my big bad wolf of a career. Because I’m that awesome? Maybe. :slight_smile: Want help, ladies? I can get your crap done too, you just hang out and watch some tv.
**
I did NOT mope, I did NOT cry, I’ve now controlled my sadness and lonliness, and for once, I’m not just having fun for the past 1 month or so with one little dip here and there (for those of you complaining about my blogs - it’s simple, if it’s hard for you to handle, don’t read it?)

Yes, it’s not easy. It’s NOT easy. It’s REALLY HARD. And being married during this time probably would have made things easier for me, which is why I implore men out there to not be so judgemental. You may get married to a wonderful woman, who is balanced (more so than I am - I’m an aberration, to be honest), and you’ll see a lady doc can make a great friend, a great companion, and has a smart head on her shoulder to run her her family and take care of you.

But, no, it’s not a walk in the park. She will hold guilt over decisions she has made for the rest of her life, her patients will not leave her memory, she will hold a lot of mental trauma with her for the rest of her life. It’s not even the work, really, it’s the environment. Some hospitals have a toxic work environment. People are catty, competetive, and they take the first opportunity to complain against each other if the hospital hasn’t arranged some way for people to get to know each other. Some private practices can have a LOT of drama, and you’ll have to sit there and hear it.

My father heard all my stories over the past years, and he guided me through on how to handle it. Families are there for each other, and that’s what YOU would have to do.

You’d have to BE THERE for your wife.

But that goes for a lot of careers out there. I know women who have gone through business school, law school, nursing school, engineering, etc, and it’s a lot of the same. Your life revolves around your career these days, especially in the US. That’s why we have shows like The Office. There is a reason for it - culture has become work-centric now. You make your friends at work, you socialize at work. You don’t have many friends outside of work except people you grew up with and college buddies, cuz it’s HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS now with everything being so digital.

So yeah, it will be YOU, YOUR WIFE, and HER JOB and YOUR JOB in the picture. And that’s 90% of your life. Esp before kids.

Once you have kids, you can maybe put up a barrier between yourselves and the careers by focusing more time on the kids and meeting other families with children so the kids have playmates. But with the desi community, that takes TIME.

I have friends who are married with kids, and now their kids are in elementary school and NOW they’re getting to meet other families with kids and make friends. It’s HARD.

So yeah, if you can’t emotionally and mentally handle that her attention may be else where at times - on her patients, on her deadlines, on her ambitions, and you’re not willing to support it, then leave those girls alone. Like aahmed said, let them find NICE guys who are gems and supportive and will be good matches for them.

And sorry, aahmed, I know I sound like a total git, but there is no excuse for greedy holding of seats and then sitting at home wasting the degree. There is just no virtue in it at all, except where you’re having a baby and want to spend time at home, but even THAT - most women I work with have kids and husbands, and they had the children in residency / fellowship.

People have misconceptions about the support. One of my friends was in the ICU with me a few months ago, went into labor and we had already planned extra shifts, etc to pull through so she could be at home. She was in the hospital for a week, and the we residents all figured out a way to cover her work/patients without a problem. And it was a damn busy rotation, mind you, but we made it work, PLUS we all offered to cook and run errands for her and her husband during that period of time.

They made it work. She has an awesome son, and has had everyone’s support in re-arranging her schedule. Worked out just fine. And her husband works with us too, he’s been very supportive and has had lots of time with the baby too. We all made sure of it. :slight_smile:

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PCG shed ure light on a psycho and beating :)

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Iraj, I'm afraid your threads are a little too weird, even for me. Beating a man, and marrying a psycho? worried

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u don't get the concept , wot is life1 about , mil, sil, marriage and hubby , luckily none of which i have .

so had to write something :D

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I went out with a girl who was doing her residency here in Canada. Very pretty i ya. I had to friend zone her coz..she was sikh girl..and i didnt see any future with her. So xtron had to friend zone her.

Pros: She is stable and all in her career.
Cons: Would be busy all the time..

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Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.

my cousin in pak temporairly gave her medicalcareer until her children were in elmentary school, once her younger son started upper elementary, she decided to go back to school, she applied for scholarship program in uk, did 2 yrs of post grad studies, came back to pak, now she is working with PMDC. However, there was a time when she had to be a SAHM, they made that decision as a family.

i dont think weshould be judging anyone, people know their situations, they should try to make best out of it. oh and no education is ever wasted.