Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
You know that something went wrong in your education and self-enrichment process when you start looking down at people who have other priorities and/or ambitions in life.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Ah.
The stay at home Moms take a pop at the working Moms and the working Moms take a pop at the stay at home Moms. Now where have I heard that before. 
This is the 21st century. I don’t know what world some people live in. I don’t get why both groups think what either one of them does makes them less of a ‘‘family’’ person? For a guy who can’t do laundry or cook basic food is not only pathetic its hilarious at the same time. Similarly for women sitting at home or working doesn’t make you a bad parent either. My Mom has been a housewife but some years has worked not 9-5 but 12 hours. In which case my Dad would pitch in, get stuff done etc. Did her working and then being a housewife when she was not working affect her abilities as a mother? No it didn’t, as both of my parents balanced it out and there is no better example in my life for me than them.
I’d rather my begum makes use of her education and work, I’d also rather is she went into so much trouble going into Medicine that she make use of that, I dislike desis being a doctor just for a rishta but if she doesn’t and if she decides her time is better spent at home then good for her. If she does work and decides to use her degree etc then good for her too. I highly doubt either would affect her ability as a mother. Some people seem to be under the wrong impression that there is a standard ‘‘correct’’ method of being a good parent. Common sense would tell you there is no standard method, like everything there should be a balance. And to see whether that theory is correct or not I don’t have to look further as my own family is a good example of that.
Well
Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Well for guys who want to marry a doctor, please remember that they have put so much time and energy into their education and careers. It would be unjustified if you want to make them stay at home. On the other hand, if your wife is working as a doctor, she is going to be very busy, ALL THE TIME. Especially,earlier on in the career. And by that, i mean atleast 10 years if you are in Pakistan. Only then she would have established enough to have a relatively relaxed schedule. Help would b needed to raise children as well.
The positives include having a highly educated spouse, who may also be of financial support. A full time medical support as well.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
This thread is like doom and gloom on Women doctors and rishta’s 
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Oh and just another point. Every time one of you takes it upon herself to bless us all with her presence in med school and training and then subsequently ends up sitting at home, thank you, because now that's another handful of patients for me to see and fill my day with, with minimal extra benefits.
Do us all a favor. If you girls can't handle it, then DON'T DO IT.
The world, and especially Pakistan, NEEDS MORE DOCTORS. So don't waste seats, thanks much.
Fair enough, but I doubt women who spent 5 years groveling in med school while their high school mates were all busy dolling up and enjoying all the perks of being young girls, would want to sit home and answer gawking faces questioning about their career and wasting seats unless they *really *have a very VALID excuse to do so.
Life isn't as easy for someone who is a mum, has in laws to deal with, be ever ready for mehmaan daari and basically expected to do all the household chores without fail . Not everybody can afford maids and servants seeing doctors in Pak are paid peanuts. Also while we are living on our own with our private space, where nobody questions when we clean or cook or do the laundry, it's pretty easy to wag fingers at those who for genuine reasons had to compromise and quit or take a break because we would never be able to know the dynamics of their family unless of course we step right into their shoes.
The way we shouldn't be judging a woman who has had the opportunity to start career and finish training without starting family or getting married because it's *her *choice, the same way we cant judge someone who had to take a little break for kids and family and for other countless reasons that might not be written on her forehead.
To the OP, there aren't any special pros and cons of marrying a lady doctor. Like any other marriage, both parties have to compromise. But yes if you actually intend to make her the sughar stay at home woman and *bahu *of the family, then please do her and yourself a favour, do not marry her.
It isn't easy to spend so many years literally with drilling med school exams and a million books to mug up only to end up staying home just for the sake of it !
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
I think it's unfair to judge anyone for their life choices without knowing first hand what their life is like. Even though I work full-time, since I don't have any kids and don't have that additional responsiblity......it would be silly on my part to pass judgments on a woman who has children.
1) Whether a wife/mother has chosen to work full-time or be a SAHW/SAHM........it's between her and her husband. Obviously not every option works for everyone. So ift particular arrangement works for that couple, then outsiders really don't have a right to judge their choices.
2) I have said this before and will repeat myself....doctors are not much different from other full-time careers that can be demanding (lawyers, consultants, certain IT jobs etc. etc. etc.). I still don't get why we're so focused on M.D.s.
3) No one can predict what their life will be like in the future. As we grow older, our values/priorities change. Who we are/what things matter to us at the age of 20 is (and should be!) different then when we turn 30......versus when we turn 40. It's part of going through life.
Its unfair (and downright ridiculous) to think that a woman should plan out her ENTIRE life when's she's in her early 20's and stick to that decision (ie. as in deciding whether or not to attend school). Women can't predict who they will marry, what the future husband's financial situation will be like, whether or not they will have kids (often women find out they have fertility issues once they TTC), or even what it's like to be a mother............until those events actually take place. There are MANY other factors that play a role in the decision for a wife/mother to put a hold or even end her career.
Frankly I find it sad that any woman would look down on other women who choose to further their education simply b/c that woman's values/priorities changed years later....something she could NOT predicted when she made the choice to apply to/attend med school (or any other graduate level professional school). Another thing women can't predict is whether or not their husband will get laid off, become disabled, or die early. In these cases, its absolutely imperative that a wife have the skills necessary to support herself and her kids.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
One of my family friends in US imported their (doctor) daughter-in-law from Pakistan. Before marriage, the girl’s parents expressly asked if they would let her work afterwards because she is one of those rare breeds who are very passionate about serving humanity. She would go to Africa and volunteer her services if she could. The in-laws reassured the parents that yeah why waste her education, she can work part time or full time if she likes. So after the bahu came to America, she wanted to write her step exams but was told by husband dear that in their family it is tradition to have kids as early as possible after marriage and he suggested waiting to do the exams after the first kid. She got pregnant but unfortunately had a premature baby who almost died at birth and still needing a lot of care after having gone through multiple surgeries. It’s been 3 or 4 years now and the bahu still hasn’t done her exams because the baby needs her. And soon after the husband will likely want to grow the family, so she can forget about going back to work.
Now this is one of the more affluent desi families I know of. Two doctors and one financial consultant in the family…dad works for pak gov’t. But they don’t believe in hiring extra help. The MIL and DIL are responsible for all the chores at home.
So yeah let’s not judge others for their decisions when we don’t know their circumstances.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
...
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
For the sake of perpetuating this adversarial discussion - are there any studies on women who finish medical school in the US and then go on to either not practice or leave the profession after a certain number of years?
Is there a study for the same numbers for women in Pakistan?
Oh, and is there must be numbers on the number of doctors per 1000 people in the population - I know we have similar stats here in Canada, which is the primary argument for desiring more foreign trained doctors to qualify here - because there aren't enough doctors to keep up with the population demand.
A career break is different - life happens and a lot women take breaks for a few years to raise a family - but as unpopular as my statement might be - being a medical doctor is a responsibility and women need to think through their career options and responsibilities before choosing that professional path.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Pros: Assumptions would be made about her mentality/ home economic skills.
Cons: Assumptions would be made about her mentality/ home economic skills.
Moral of the story, no two people are the same. Assuming/ generalizing one way or the other... only makes an "a*s out of u and me." ("me" being the lady daactar)
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Okay, found one study!
Here are numbers on the number of doctors per 10,000 people from around the world.
Physicians (Per 10,000 Population) - GlobalHealthFacts.org
Physicians (Per 10,000 Population)
2005-2010
(Go to Maps above or Notes and Sources below)
Rank Table by:
- Country Name
- Rate
[TABLE=“class: data-by-topic-table”]
[TH=“class: rank”]Rank
[/TH]
[TH=“class: location sorted”]Country Name
http://www.paklinks.com/images/sort_asc.gif
[/TH]
[TH]Rate per 10,000
[/TH]
[TR=“class: global”]
[TH=“class: rank”][/TH]
[TH=“class: location”]Global
[/TH]
[TH=“class: data”]14
[/TH]
[/TR]
27
Afghanistan
2
59
Albania
12
62
Algeria
12
145
American Samoa
(NA)
133
Andorra
39
145
Angola
(NA)
145
Anguilla
(NA)
145
Antigua and Barbuda
(NA)
145
Argentina
(NA)
129
Armenia
38
145
Aruba
(NA)
110
Australia
30
140
Austria
49
131
Azerbaijan
38
145
Bahamas
(NA)
67
Bahrain
14
34
Bangladesh
3
76
Barbados
18
141
Belarus
52
112
Belgium
30
52
Belize
8
15
Benin
1
145
Bermuda
(NA)
6
Bhutan
145
Bolivia
(NA)
72
Bosnia and Herzegovina
16
36
Botswana
3
145
Bouvet Island
(NA)
74
Brazil
18
145
British Indian Ocean Territory
(NA)
145
British Virgin Islands
(NA)
66
Brunei Darussalam
14
126
Bulgaria
37
16
Burkina Faso
1
145
Burundi
(NA)
29
Cambodia
2
145
Cameroon
(NA)
82
Canada
20
46
Cape Verde
6
145
Cayman Islands
(NA)
145
Central African Republic
(NA)
145
Chad
(NA)
57
Chile
10
65
China
14
145
Christmas Island
(NA)
145
Cocos (Keeling Islands)
(NA)
24
Colombia
1
145
Comoros
(NA)
18
Congo
1
145
Congo (Dem. Republic of)
(NA)
107
Cook Islands
29
145
Costa Rica
(NA)
23
Cote d’Ivoire
1
97
Croatia
26
144
Cuba
67
96
Cyprus
26
125
Czech Republic
37
118
Denmark
34
30
Djibouti
2
145
Dominica
(NA)
145
Dominican Republic
(NA)
73
Ecuador
17
105
Egypt
28
71
El Salvador
16
145
Equatorial Guinea
(NA)
145
Eritrea
(NA)
117
Estonia
33
5
Ethiopia
145
Faeroe Islands
(NA)
145
Falkland Islands (Malvinas)
(NA)
40
Fiji
4
108
Finland
29
119
France
34
145
French Guiana
(NA)
145
French Polynesia
(NA)
145
French Southern Territories and Antarctic Lands
(NA)
145
Gabon
(NA)
10
Gambia
139
Georgia
48
122
Germany
36
17
Ghana
1
145
Gibraltar
(NA)
143
Greece
62
145
Greenland
(NA)
145
Grenada
(NA)
145
Guadeloupe
(NA)
145
Guam
(NA)
145
Guatemala
(NA)
19
Guinea
1
11
Guinea-Bissau
145
Guyana
(NA)
145
Haiti
(NA)
145
Heard Island and McDonald Islands
(NA)
145
Honduras
(NA)
113
Hungary
30
127
Iceland
37
48
India
6
33
Indonesia
3
53
Iran (Islamic Republic of)
9
49
Iraq
7
115
Ireland
32
124
Israel
37
120
Italy
35
145
Jamaica
(NA)
87
Japan
21
145
Johnston Atoll
(NA)
93
Jordan
25
136
Kazakhstan
41
145
Kenya
(NA)
38
Kiribati
4
145
Korea (Dem. Peo. Rep. of)
(NA)
83
Korea (Republic of)
20
75
Kuwait
18
90
Kyrgyzstan
23
31
Lao People’s Democratic Rep.
3
109
Latvia
30
121
Lebanon
35
145
Lesotho
(NA)
2
Liberia
78
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
19
145
Liechtenstein
(NA)
123
Lithuania
36
104
Luxembourg
28
98
Macedonia (The former Yugoslav Republic of)
26
25
Madagascar
2
4
Malawi
56
Malaysia
9
70
Maldives
16
12
Mali
114
Malta
31
41
Marshall Islands
4
145
Martinique
(NA)
22
Mauritania
1
145
Mauritius
(NA)
145
Mayotte
(NA)
81
Mexico
20
26
Micronesia (Federated States of)
2
145
Midway
(NA)
99
Moldova (Republic of)
27
145
Monaco
(NA)
103
Mongolia
28
84
Montenegro
21
145
Montserrat
(NA)
47
Morocco
6
8
Mozambique
42
Myanmar
5
37
Namibia
4
50
Nauru
7
145
Nepal
(NA)
106
Netherlands
29
145
Netherlands Antilles
(NA)
145
New Caledonia
(NA)
100
New Zealand
27
145
Nicaragua
(NA)
4
Niger
39
Nigeria
4
142
Niue
60
145
Norfolk Island
(NA)
145
Northern Mariana Islands
(NA)
137
Norway
42
79
Oman
19
51
Pakistan
8
64
Palau
14
145
Panama
(NA)
13
Papua New Guinea
1
145
Paraguay
(NA)
54
Peru
9
145
Philippines
(NA)
145
Pitcairn Island
(NA)
88
Poland
22
132
Portugal
39
145
Puerto Rico
(NA)
102
Qatar
28
145
Reunion
(NA)
89
Romania
23
138
Russian Federation
43
7
Rwanda
145
Saint Helena
(NA)
145
Saint Kitts and Nevis
(NA)
145
Saint Lucia
(NA)
145
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
(NA)
43
Samoa
5
145
San Marino
(NA)
145
Sao Tome and Principe
(NA)
55
Saudi Arabia
9
15
Senegal
1
86
Serbia
21
145
Seychelles
(NA)
3
Sierra Leone
77
Singapore
18
111
Slovakia
30
94
Slovenia
25
28
Solomon Islands
2
9
Somalia
145
South Africa
(NA)
134
Spain
40
44
Sri Lanka
5
32
Sudan
3
145
Suriname
(NA)
145
Svalbard and Jan Mayen Islands
(NA)
145
Swaziland
(NA)
130
Sweden
38
135
Switzerland
41
68
Syrian Arab Republic
15
85
Tajikistan
21
1
Tanzania (United Rep. of)
145
Thailand
(NA)
145
Timor Leste
(NA)
13
Togo
1
145
Tokelau
(NA)
45
Tonga
6
60
Trinidad and Tobago
12
61
Tunisia
12
69
Turkey
15
91
Turkmenistan
24
145
Turks and Caicos Island
(NA)
58
Tuvalu
11
21
Uganda
1
116
Ukraine
32
80
United Arab Emirates
19
101
United Kingdom
27
92
United States of America
24
128
Uruguay
37
95
Uzbekistan
26
20
Vanuatu
1
145
Venezuela
(NA)
63
Viet Nam
12
145
Virgin Islands (U.S.)
(NA)
145
Wake Island
(NA)
145
Wallis and Futuna Islands
(NA)
145
West Bank and Gaza
(NA)
145
Western Sahara
(NA)
35
Yemen
3
14
Zambia
1
145
Zimbabwe
(NA)
Definitions: Physicians: Includes generalists and specialists.
I highlighted Cuba, because it puts the rest of the nations to shame.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Let me give you an important life lesson that seems to elude you, probably because its not in a book, LEARN from your experiences.
Easy there, CC. Let's not poke each others' eyes out. Yehi baat app behtar andaaz se bhi keh sakte hain without personally attacking others.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
ther r many advantages like dr is 24/7 available the least she can do is take good care of her own/ur kids frm med point of view , in case of an emergency first aid is readily available , ther r many others u cnt count them.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
I don't think anyone joins medical school only in hopes of making their cv look good. I don't think it's by any means easy whether in pakistan or USA or anywhere else in the world. Countless hours spent studying, taking exam after exam in med school and then USMLEs. Passing is not enough and you have to work your ass off to get good scores to land a residency, and it only gets tougher each year. And to top that off, in USA, most students will take out loans, close to $300k that they will have to pay well into their 40s. So I don't know where the fascination is to get into med school, rough it out and then not work. People don't do that as an options, there is almost always something behind it.
Having said that, as Paheli said, peoples priorities change as we get older. And why should female doctors be expected to either put their career first, or their families first, who is anyone else to judge, why can't they make that decision for themselves. Who are you to point fingers? Do people go around juding lawyers, and IT consultants or whatever have you for whether they continue or not continue to work?
I started residency with a girl who had to leave 6 months into her intership year. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer back in Columbia, and she was her only child. For her it was important to be there for her mother to spend time with her, and be there for her through treatment etc. She decided to go, family came first. She didn't know how long she'd be away for, and that she'd have to re-apply for residency, knowing well that it gets tougher and tougher each year. I think most of us can stand in her shoes, and make that decision as well.
These generalizations need to stop and people need to stop pointing fingers and telling others what they should or shouldn't do.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
I highlighted Cuba, because it puts the rest of the nations to shame.
have you seen documentary film sicko by michael moore ?
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
How funny when there's a thread about doctors and shadi and stuff and suddenly someone mentions the 'typical Pakistani girl'.. who apparently just wants to look pretty and nag and make babies and wants nothing to do with studying/working.
And THAT is when I get pissed off real bad.
Because these generalizations are hurtful. And it's not our problem that girls you know (in your family or friends) are like this. Because all of us are not like this. Girls in Pakistan have brains too you know. And most of them know how to use them.
/vent over.. I know it doesn't come under the particular topic but whatever.
Preach it, sista!
I was dumbfounded when I read the thread on Pakistani girls. Nobody zaleelofies desis more than desis themselves. Is it inferiority complex or something? On one hand, we're getting offended in this thread if some men are stereotyping successful working women and on the other hand we're doing it ourselves to other women.
Kya yeh khulla tazaad nahin? =p
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Preach it, sista!
I was dumbfounded when I read the thread on Pakistani girls. Nobody zaleelofies desis more than desis themselves. Is it inferiority complex or something? On one hand, we're getting offended in this thread if some men are stereotyping successful working women and on the other hand we're doing it ourselves to other women.
Kya yeh khulla tazaad nahin? =p
Seriously!!!
It's like how easy it is to sit back and talk about people living in intense environments like Pakistan and then assume that they are lazy and good for nothing. I can bet that if any one of these ladies who generalize and talk trash about desis like me can not last even a day having the circumstances we have!
Come study and then work in a male dominated third world country being a female and then talk!
Ghusa hi charha dita fazool ich.
Re: Pros and Cons of marrying a lady doctor.
Sehrysh, will you stop trying to distract us from the pertinent issue of who’s the bigger victim here by throwing these solid facts at us? 
ps. gotta give it to pakistanimard for he knows how to rile everyone up here!