Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
So your saying people in all cultures apart from Islam who spend their entire lives together but dont marry hold no merit? Well done. Say that in my social circle and you will have eggs thrown at you.
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Your social circle in some tragic little corner of the world means nothing to me. Judging from your posts, I hardly consider you to be the creme de la creme of society so forgive me if I DONT feel a sense of loss…
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Marriage is NOT the same as playing house. Dont equate the two.
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I simply referred to marriage…two people cohabitating for the rest of their lives…sharing finances, having children, raising them, etc. Planning a wedding is not marriage. Buying a condo is not marriage and doesnt make you an expert on property disputes between couples. “Well, if you do what I do, all of the world’s problems will be solved! Go buy a house in Maui and one in Miami and you can each have one in your name! Yay!”
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Islam is not a culture. Its a religion and I never referred to Islam alone.
Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
Fortunately REHA... Not quite as tragic as your ideals on life. Jog on.
Fortunately REHA... Not quite as tragic as your ideals on life. Jog on.
Whatever helps you sleep at night pumpkin
Have you and your partner prepared a will yet? Because if you haven't and you're not yet legally wed nor common-law, then you don't have first claim on the assets, Allah na karay, in the event of his death - his family would.
Maybe for some people this is not an issue, because they can trust their husband's family. We've already seen how untrue that is for so many girls.
shrugs
Can't help women if they choose not to protect themselves.
Yeah, you do. You owe her a lot more than you can possibly imagine. Its sad you dont understand this but then again...it takes all kinds to make the world go round. Im sure you have your place somewhere in society as well.
You read what you want to read & take meaning whichever way it suits your whims & preconceived notions. I owe to maintain her as a wife & I can do that very well, you want to see it some other twisted way go ahead. There is absolutely no obligation in Islam or in today's social circles to put her name on something I worked for, you want property in your name go to your parents, accumulate your own. don't manipulate your spouse into doing it.
Will I ask her to put my name on her house? her assets? her inheritance? No I don't care, I know how to make assets and keep them, that is the essence to good living.
My advice to guys reading this : once a woman starts talking about 'owing' her, show her the door as swiftly as possible.
Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
Islam has strict commands against a husband touching any income of a woman's. However, the same prohibition is not placed the other way around.
Didn't the Prophet's wives get some share in whatever little wealth the Prophet had left?
Since your wife would be giving up her career (you say you want an educated partner) to keep house for you (I assume you don’t want a nanny to raise your kids), I hope you are compensating her, not according to what you think your wife is entitled to earn, but the going market value of her services.
Added to that, you should add on an amount to cover lost opportunity for her giving up her career and lagging behind her peers for the period of time she’s home with your kids.
Assuming the family has two children - one under 6 years and the second between 6 and 18, the median salary or value for your wife’s work would be: $117,850 (Source: Salary.com - MomSalaryWizard Tool).
Even assuming she pays for own expenses and rent to live in your home, she should be able to save enough so she can buy her own home and have assets under her name.
You read what you want to read & take meaning whichever way it suits your whims & preconceived notions. I owe to maintain her as a wife & I can do that very well, you want to see it some other twisted way go ahead. There is absolutely no obligation in Islam or in today's social circles to put her name on something I worked for, you want property in your name go to your parents, accumulate your own. don't manipulate your spouse into doing it.
Will I ask her to put my name on her house? her assets? her inheritance? No I don't care, I know how to make assets and keep them, that is the essence to good living.
My advice to guys reading this : once a woman starts talking about 'owing' her, show her the door as swiftly as possible.
And my advice to the ladies is when a man starts using terms like "mine" and not "ours"...give him the boot. It shows lack of commitment and faith in your marriage. He is simply there for the time being...not for the long haul.
Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
I hope glacierice is joking to get a rouse, because I didn't think Pakistani guys were that lame. And even I have very low expectations of them.
For the sake of board discipline this will be last post in this thread.
You seem to underestimate what maintain means. Do I owe my wife assets and money for giving up her career to raise my kids? NO, I expect her to do that. Maintain does not mean covering for lost opportunities, it means providing a family home (no apartment) & all that goes with it. If you think that is not enough for you please go ahead and make your own home but don’t complain if you get tired of doing a man’s job. I stress on education because a educated woman will bring up educated children. Does this mean I don’t care about marriage? or I don’t care for her? NO that’s your own personal interpretation and you are entitled to it.
If you really feel that you have lost opportunities for work and career advancement then you should consider that before marriage, don’t have kids or just simply get a divorce. Don’t put these accusations of lost opportunities on your spouse, make your own assets or ask your parents.
There are no Islamic obligations of writing your assets in your wife’s name or providing her with such, a husband’s duties are very clearly defined and so are the wife’s, I suggest you read them, I am not interested in initiating any religious argument on this matter.
Good luck to you.
...it means providing a family home (no apartment)..
aaah seems like i deprived my wife of her rights by "keeping" her at apartment for long :)
For the sake of board discipline this will be last post in this thread.
You seem to underestimate what maintain means. Do I owe my wife assets and money for giving up her career to raise my kids? NO, I expect her to do that. Maintain does not mean covering for lost opportunities, it means providing a family home (no apartment) & all that goes with it. If you think that is not enough for you please go ahead and make your own home but don't complain if you get tired of doing a man's job. I stress on education because a educated woman will bring up educated children. Does this mean I don't care about marriage? or I don't care for her? NO that's your own personal interpretation and you are entitled to it.
If you really feel that you have lost opportunities for work and career advancement then you should consider that before marriage, don't have kids or just simply get a divorce. Don't put these accusations of lost opportunities on your spouse, make your own assets or ask your parents.
There are no Islamic obligations of writing your assets in your wife's name or providing her with such, a husband's duties are very clearly defined and so are the wife's, I suggest you read them, I am not interested in initiating any religious argument on this matter.
Good luck to you.
Good luck to your wife...
Do I owe my wife assets and money for giving up her career to raise my kids?
No of course not.
You owe her your life and nothing less. Men are the guardians of women and if you can't even guard her future by making sure she has security in case you drop dead one day, then you've failed miserably as a husband.
Your mentality is disgusting. I can't believe there are men out there who actually maintain such a disturbing ideology.
I just went through this thread and it's also equally disturbing to see WOMEN claiming other WOMEN are gold diggers for wishing to have joint ownership of a marital home. Thank God for family law where the marital home is always equally divided no matter WHO owns it and in most circumstances actually awarded to the wife since she is taking care of the children!!
In all honesty, questions regarding property ownership should never even come up in a marriage! It should be a given that everything the couple owns is joint ownership!!
You owe her your life and nothing less. Men are the guardians of women and if you can't even guard her future by making sure she has security in case you drop dead one day, then you've failed miserably as a husband. !
Since this is the only argument you have in favor of what you're suggesting, let me counter it (yet again) by stating there's a wonderful thing called a 'will'... It'll entitle you not just 50% but 100% of the stakes in case he 'drops dead' one day.
Since this is the only argument you have in favor of what you're suggesting, let me counter it (yet again) by stating there's a wonderful thing called a 'will'... It'll entitle you not just 50% but 100% of the stakes in case he 'drops dead' one day.
umm why don't you brush up on your definition regarding 'joint tenancy'?
Joint tenancy is when you have equal share in the property but if your spouse/or your joint tenant passes away, you have a right of survivorship and are thus able to own the property in its entirety. Ownership thus passes to the surviving spouse immediately, thus avoiding the need for probate.
So I am sorry but YOUR argument falls short (yet again) of making any sense.
Since this is the only argument you have in favor of what you're suggesting, let me counter it (yet again) by stating there's a wonderful thing called a 'will'... It'll entitle you not just 50% but 100% of the stakes in case he 'drops dead' one day.
Spock, if you read Glacier's post - he has no intention of leaving his property to his wife - she's going to be left helpless after he kicks the bucket - because he doesn't owe her anything.
If I do write a will it will be for my children not for my wife.
I would not marry a woman if she has not worked even for a week or has gone to university, I am more likely to help her accumulate her own assets with her own earnings rather than go in their and provide the ready-made 'halwa'.
If she wants to accumulate assets - she should work for it or inherit it from her parents.
There is absolutely no obligation in Islam or in today's social circles to put her name on something I worked for, you want property in your name go to your parents, accumulate your own. don't manipulate your spouse into doing it.
Quite frankly his attitude smacks of "I'll keep you well while I'm around for you to serve my needs. After I die, not my problem."
Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
I feel like men these days are raised like girls...
Re: Property Issues with Newly Weds
These men are not men. They are kids in a playground screaming away at anyone who touches their sandbox toys.
Spock, if you read Glacier's post - he has no intention of leaving his property to his wife - she's going to be left helpless after he kicks the bucket - because he doesn't owe her anything.
If she wants to accumulate assets - she should work for it or inherit it from her parents.
Quite frankly his attitude smacks of "I'll keep you well while I'm around for you to serve my needs. After I die, not my problem."
Yup.
A man like that will never stay married for long because no woman wants someone who wont appreciate what she does or who she is in a marriage.
Its scary to know that Muslim men are being raised with these ideas...hopefully he will disclose all of this to a potential wife before marriage so she can move on.
Pretty soon, these "men" will be demanding things from their women too.