Promiscuity

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: Promiscuity

i would think the "chap" got his answer by now. RV and some other people have said anything and everything one can say about this....thing.

62

if the guy is having polygamous urges now, who's to say he wont have them after marriage too? even if he does sleep around before getting married?

also, i dont think all men have such urges, to sleep around and with as many people as possible before marrying, a lot of men have self control and do not feel scared by the thought of having a sexual relationship with one partner only for the rest of their lives.

63

Lolz... if you wanted to hear nice, supporting comments from our fellow guppans, you should have posted your question like: a female friend of mine wants to have......

and then who knows you may have had some people coming up with some intellectual crap to justify this in the name of independance and emancipation. Seriously, we had a thread in which the wife was cheating and most of the advice was for the guy to go get a life, or that he was not satisfying his wife's needs on some deep "intimate" level.

Anyways, about your friend he probably has some variation of the "cold feet" phenomenon before his marriage. How does he know for sure that he will have strong feelings for other women besides his wife ? Maybe he'll live a happy satisfied life with her and its all just in his head. If he ever gets so desperate, he can marry three other women as well. If however, he does wanna go ahead and do zina, then he'de better prepare himself for the hunters he'll get on his butt in the hereafter. Decision is all his....!!

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^ The point is Snowy........why is future wife's opinion supposed to be dealbreaker on whether one should go on a humping spree? Shouldn't one place more emphasis on their OWN opinion....their own common sense. Shouldn't one think that a woman or future wife's opinion will be nothing compared to Allah's already pre-established opinion on the issue?

Why is this such a hard concept for "chap" to understand? He just doesn't want to accept the obvious answer........so he most likely brings up the SAME issue time and time and time again........and he goes around in circles......asking the SAME questions in different ways........thinking that just MAYBE someone will tell him that.........."Go ahead dude. Hump away. Your future wife won't care as long as you are nice to her."

And then he chides other posters for being "baysharam/shameful/perverted" because they suggested jerking off/masturbating/using the "hand". Well......at least it's the less shameful option compared to zina. I find it funny that "chap" scolds US for being perverted...............whereas **HE **is indirectly asking if it's okay to sleep around before marriage when he clearly knows the Islamic answer and THAT should be enough for him.

Chap........do you feel like steeling/murdering/gambling? If you think that your future wife will be okay with these horrible activities from you past........you should go ahead and do them. Will you also ask your wife for her approval of any other gunnahs you would like to commit before marrying her? Think about this question and reflect over the holes in your logic.

Sana Safinaz Bridals
Sana Safinaz Bridals
65

Re: Promiscuity

^exactly

66

Comparing oneself to the various Islamic figures regarding this issue is unreasonble because:

1) Maybe the companions of the Prophet engaged in reckless zina BEFORE they embraced Islam. Keep in mind that zina is illegal sexual relations. Also keep in mind that......before Islam.....the men had more than four wives. The spreading of Islamic knowledge provided people with boundaries. So.............an guy should not compare himself to the behavior of the companions BEFORE Islam..............because even the companions would put an end to their wrong practices after learning about Islam's stance on sexual relations.

2) I doubt that the companions of the Prophet (SAWS) went up to him and said*.............."Oh Prophet, can I engage in Zina so that I can be a more faithful husband in the future?"* I doubt that the Prophet's companions asked him "Oh, Prophet.........do you think my future wife would be okay if I had a past full of zina?"

^ Everybody knows that the Prophet SAWS advised His followers to fear Allah first. He would NEVER suggest his followers to commit a gunnah as long as "future wife" was okay with it..........OR..........as long as the general opinion of women was favorable.

...........Also keep in mind that the Prophet SAWS advised certain remedies.

1) Fasting to curb sexual urges in the event that you can't marry.

2) Get married

3) Sleep with your slave girl (most people in the West don't have slave girls and one shouldn't get a slave girl for this purpose only)

4) Polygamy (YOU don't even have one wife yet)

^ So where in the above recommendations......do you see the advice of "commit zina freely before marriage so that you can quench your thirst by the time you get married."???? It's not mentioned at all because it's clearly prohibited. Therefore it can't be justified Islamically. The only way that one can "reason" with themselves regarding this issue......is if they confidently decide to ignore moral values/religion......and satisfy their lusts. And to do that......one doesn't really need the permission of any other human being.

67

Re: Promiscuity

snowy winter, why are you so incredibly bitter? Seriously.

68

Re: Promiscuity

how do u know any girl.... will actually want to do it with you? Khush faimiyan... they are so funny

69

:rotfl:

Deela…you asked if virginity is important to girls since many virgin girls in Pak marry guys who are not virgin. To answer your question AGAIN…(only to see it go above your head AGAIN)…you have to consider the following points:

  1. Why the HELL does it matter what girls think about a losing his virginity. Shouldn’t the guy be giving SOLE priority to what Allah thinks in this matter? That’s his biggest mistake. If he gave first and foremost priority to Allah…he wouldn’t be wasting his time asking what women think.

  2. There is no way to tell if a guy is a virgin. Similarly there is no foolproof way of telling if a girl is a virgin. So even if a guy lied to his wife and tells her he’s virgin…she can’t determine with 100% accuracy if he’s being honest or not.

  3. Don’t generalize ALL marriages, Deela. You make it sound like you interviewed EVERY single desi couple on the planet. You make it sound like ALL girls willingly marry non-virgin guys. **DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK **that maybe not all girls question a guy in regards to his virginity during a rishta interview? Similarly not all guys question a girl about her virginity during a rishta interview. So IT IS POSSIBLE that the issue of virginity was mutually never brought up by both parties and they married without discussing it.

  4. Since there is no medical or blatantly obvious way of determining whether a guy is virgin or not…should a woman just not get married? She could keep rejecting proposals that aren’t virgin but how does she know that the person is being honest?

  5. Are you a blind follower? OR do you have the courage to be a leader? If everybody jumps off a cliff…does that mean it’s the morally right thing to do? Just because you KNOW of some girls who have married non-virgin men…doesn’t mean that it’s morally okay to go on a humping spree. You’ll be accountable for your actions in the next world.

  6. There are some women who prefer a virgin guy and will accept nothing less than that. There are some women who won’t be thrilled about a guy’s past but they might overlook it if he’s a good human being overall. It’s one thing if you tell your future wife, “I’m not a virgin because I gave into a weak moment.” **BUT IT IS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY STUPID **to tell your future wife, **“I purposely committed zina and got my polygamous urges out of my system so I can be a more faithful husband to you.” **Your wife will think you’re retarded.

  7. You’re depending SO heavily on the justifcation that “Non-virgin men get accepted by the purest girls…therefore I should lose my virginity as well”…so in that case…why are you only limiting this view to zina. There are many guys who also DRINK ALCOHOL and get married to clean girls from back home…so why don’t you start drinking alcohol as well?

  8. If a girl came to you and asked…“I see guys who are married to non-virgin girls…do you think I should lose my virginity and satisfy my urges before marriage to get it out of my system?” What would you say? You can’t speak on behalf of ALL men, Dheela ji. There ARE men who will not even ask a rishta if she’s virgin. The truth is that you can’t give this girl a clear cut answer. You’d be telling the girl THE SAME POINTS that everyone on this thread has told you.

***** I wouldn’t be surprised if you now say, “Since there’s no fool-proof way to determine if someone is virgin…then I might as well lose my virginity.” Again…that’s upto you. Why seek our permission for something no one can stop you from doing.

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Men are polygamists by nature. Islam being a religion of nature, has allowed men to have multiple partners. That too, in a temporary Or permanent marriage. Islam has given a sizeable margin of freedom in this area, for obvious reasons. However, culturally it’s not allowed. Culture restricts men to have one committed relationship throughout his life. If your (that guy’s) urges are too hard to control and pushing you towards sin (self-pleasing is also haram btw), then go ahead and do it the Halal way, and don’t feel guilty about it. When you make God incharge of your affairs, then you don’t have to worry about the consequences. However, make sure you refrain from cheating, lying and deceiving in all your actions/decisions.

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As they say, truth is always bitter :)

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DD—maybe chap has alredy explored all his limbs to that account–mybe he feels like a pu**y on that-and its not good for the body either.

Restless…wise words…

REDvelvet=unrestless===long words, but thankx.

However I did not ask for relgious inputs as; for our chap the priority for saving his virginity is in order to recieve an equally virgin good girl.
But as said earlier we see men everywhere, fornicators, loosers being able to pull or trick the best of you girls…and our chap is nothing but also one of those urged full men.

so basically Why should he tolerate the tension if its hardly required. hes fed up. :angry:

You desperatly bring God into, however MOST of your religious narrations and statements are flawed, which I may address later.

AND BEFORE LOOSING YOUR HEAD AND TRYING pls remember there are islamic legal and comprimiing ways of doing the ‘ahem-ahem’

and many do thier stuff and repent and amend them self after.

the chap is well aware of stds, pregnacy, honesty issues in having a relationship.

and REDVELVET learn to have some tolerance of mens issues instead of selfishly efforting to end it. Your not the Boss. If you want to dominate go elsewhere. OR b prpared for a return bashing yes.

Thread starter would like more HONEST comments from girls on amans past lifes importance. THanx

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No, I'm referring to you as a person. Anyway, carry on. :)

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Pls lets keep God aside from this matter- as there are the legal too with the illegal ways to do the 'ahem' 'ahem' activity.

Thread starter just wants to know that:

since in contrast to men, so many of you pakistani, virgin girls give yourself/go out with men who has disclosed he is not a virgin/made mistakes in the past, is the indication this gives correct that you women do not mind a man past as long as he is nice and sincere to you presently?

This chap was previously saving himself because he feels he should be virgin if you desire a virgin.
But he gets very confused by the masses of decent desi and back home paki women going out with the otherwise men.

I know topic is bit dodgy but still realistic.

Need Guppans Honest and Calm answers to question in purple please.

PLs no bashing girls, for once appreciate a man who is being honest about the distasteful truth and trying to reach a balance for everyones best.

75

Re: Promiscuity

first of all, why do you keep referring to yourself as the “thread starter”? we know it’s you.

secondly, you keep saying that you “just want to know” xyz, everyone here told you a billion times already, what more are you looking for?

thirdly, i’m beginning to think YOU’RE the “chap”. people here have given you very detailed “HONEST” answers as to how they feel about this issue and yet you ask the same question over and over and over again. this is really important to you, isn’t it? i wonder why. :rolleyes:

76

Re: Promiscuity

I am still waiting for the lucchi lafangi larkis numbers, emails and pictures.
Now I will have to replan my weekend activities.
:rolleyes:

Munafiq !!!
77

Marwah, lets not get to wound up with the chap or thread starter. Il refer him to 'myself' from now on. so:

I only got one although indirect, females answer, to the query. Appreciate that.

Now, I would really appreciate a few more of you generous and gentle guppans proper views.
I presume you are of you are individuals with individual thinking? and pls dont get heated.

I honestly do not mean to offend any female by my question, I am just using facts to clarify.

so heres it again:

Since to the big contrast to men, so many pakistani, virgin girls give themself/go out with men who disclose he is not a virgin/made past mistakes, so is the indication this lends correct, that women do not mind a mans past much as long as he is nice and sincere now?

Honest answers c'mon;

Pareezay, P-squared, Milly, Nabz, Mehnaz, Deeba.....

78

Re: Promiscuity

Deela, girls who think that way make a grave mistake and come to realize it later on. So do those girls a favour and stay away from them if you do go ahead and sleep around.

79

Re: Promiscuity

No No No---- i also want in the event somethings happens, that 'virgin girl' if others r able to.:

^ back to question pls

Timepass-April 2014
80

Lolz... in real life, I'm actually quite lively and love cracking jokes :)
Khair, these days I have to write a long, tedious report, hence the grumpiness.