Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
wrong thread, sahar. :D
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
Pcg, seriously, ure practically insulting everyone replying in this thread.. jeez..
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
Uff, sorry! I had the wrong thread. :D
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
Nopes Sara, I am actually getting peeved at one guppan who somehow has the nerve to think that she's a better muslim than any other girl who has a difference of opinion, because she's going to give up her career for her husband if he asks...because that's the "Islamic" thing to do...and then on top of that is twisting my words to make it seem I'm saying something I'm actually not.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
^
Ya true and if the guy doesn't have any respect for his mother and sister then he would not even care about his wife.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
listen i nvr put your intellect down in anyway. Im tired of your asking if im a lawyer (implying that im not smart enough to be one) simply because you dont agree with that i have to say. You act as if your the only smart person on here and that everyone else is an idiot. if you dont agree with that we have to say than argue it like an adult and do it w/o insulting ppl.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
If I understand you correctly, one doesn’t need to have specific genitals to raise kids. I agree. It boils down to the reasons why men ask women to stay home. I think it is important to nail down these reasons before declaring it an abuse.
Apparently, it does look like the guys are on ego trip to ask an educated woman to stay home..but if you dig deeper you might find reasons that could be justified. Or do you think there is no justification for making someone sit home?
Primarily the reasons are kids…It is not a surprise that the population growth in some European countries is in negatives whereas it is exponential in the third world countries. People is the west realize the responsibilities & obligations that come along with having kids, hence they opt for living career oriented lives. I’m not saying it’s wise or better but that’s the choice they consciously make.
Our religion and culture doesn’t promote that but since we do live in the west we have to make certain adjustments. fortunately or unfortunately it’s the women who play the bigger role or families won’t survive.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
i nvr said that im better…im simply telling you like it is.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
I have argued your points, and I am absolutely insulted that you think you can get away with twisting my words the way you did. Either you really are stupid and you didn't understand the RHETORICAL question, or you're twisting words.
The question was WHY men are not asked to sit at home...not a suggestion from my side that all men should sit at home. Please do read with the eyes open.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
ok than PCG why couldnt you just say it that way…why insult me.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
Oh please, according to your own words, any of us that has a husband that wants us to leave work permanently and says in repsponse "no, I'd rather keep working once I get my kids in school and don't need to nurse them 24-7 anymore" is going str8 to hell for disagreeing with her husband. Yes? Am I going to hell for standing up to my husband because I don't think he's got a right to even FORCE me to sit at home when I really don't need to, and when I'd end up thumming thru magazines all day out of boredom?
And don't get the meek tone now. I know how they train you lawyers.
See perfect example. She tries to be catty here, but in front of her husband, she'll be a Allah mian ki baqri. Sorry, girly, you brought yourself up as an example, not me.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
now who is putting the words in who’s mouth? plz anyone…find a quote where i said that you are going to hell for arguing with your husband. In fact i only quoted the hadiths…if you want to argue that…be my guest.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
OK, man needs to work in order to be responsible for the care of the women in his family, but what’s to say that housework ISN’T that work? He can provide for his wife through housework, can’t he? She needs a nice home, good meals, etc.. Why do you think working OUTSIDE the home is a more legitimate and caring form of work than working IN the home? (By your logic, a stay at home wife isn’t caring for her family!) Explain, please.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
im sure EVERYONE here can see that im not the catty one…therefore i dont need to argue with you any further.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
u think so sahar? i think its women who have that type of thinking.. the amount of times ive heard my female cousins say “meri kya marzi hai… jo mian chaheyein gein yaan saas.. wohi hoga”.. and i hear so many mothers telling their daughters the same thing..
i think people back in pakistan are taught that this is Islam.. to obey and accept watever the hubby says… i mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with caring for him, taking care of him, God forbid.. even massaging his feet.. if its out of ur own happiness (and his hehe) then do it… but if ur doing something thats against ur morals or something ur not compfortable with, nowhere in Islam does it say that you HAVE to do it.. just to please him…
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
You get cursed/punished by Allah (SWT) for displeasing your husband...In Islam a woman's career isnt even a priority. Your family and home is. Therefore, whether it is halal or not if your HUSBAND isnt pleased than Allah isnt pleased.
You keep contradicting yourself. On one hand you say you would not want to be forced to leave your job against your will. Fine enough. But then this.
So the logical connection, and believe you me, i'm well versed in how to do this, is :
Man is displeased about wife working --> causes God to be displeased that husband is displeased --> wife is going to hell according to hadith, because man was displeased in the first place.
My logic, from my knowledge in Islam, is this:
God's pleasure or displeasure in your behavior is NOT contingent upon your husband's disapproval or approval of your behavior. Because otherwise, God is now your husband's ghulam.
Based on this initial premise, it only logically follows that your logical connection as stated falls thru the hole. Because your husband's pleasure/displeasure only matters when it coincides with Allah's pleasure or displeasure.
Ex. If husband says wear hijab --> you follow his orders
Ex. if husband says DONT wear hijab --> you follow his orders
In both cases you pleased your husband. Did you gain the gates of heaven thru each example?
I would hope not, otherwise all of Islam falls thru a hole.
Likewise, your decision to work or not work, is Islamically, your own. That's why I say this thread is not about working or not working. Its more about a forceful husband and obeying him, whether that means he forces you to not work when you want to, or forces you to work when you don't want to (desi men can do either).
Whether you work or not is your decision. And your work is highly prized by Allah. I don't believe for one moment that Allah would prefer you to sit at home watching Geo when you could be doing something good for your community. I just absolutely do not believe that for one minute. A husband who tries to stop you and forces you to sit at home, is not being a just Islamic husband. I don't think that by not following him, you're going to be denied the Gates of Heaven...especially if your work is honorable, and if you managed to raise good kids along with doing your work. I think there are MANY women who are able to manage it.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
well Islamically..according to scholars and the prophet (SAW) when you talk about “providing” it means financially and economically.
also, perhaps i didnt understand you correctly but i nvr said that i thought that working outside the home is more legitimate and caring form of work.
also just as a side note…i have respect for women that work and take care of their family (my sister does it). what i have a problem with is when some women neglect their family in doing so or when they develop a western non-islamic way of thinking when it comes to family dynamics.
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
^ just another side note... sometimes marriage changes the way u think :)
Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?
[quote]
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "There are three types of people whose salat is not accepted, nor is any other good act of theirs accepted. One is a slave who runs away from his master. The second is a woman whose husband is displeased with her. The third is a person who is in a state of intoxication." (muslim)
[/quote]
Maybe a controversail question here, but if you no longer listen to part of the hadith (meaning, the part that implies it's ok for you to have a slave), how do you justify listening to the other part? If you take it all as true, then do you think it's ok to have slaves? if you think that times have changed and this was foreseen in regard to the slavery part, then how are you so sure that times haven't changed in regard to the part about wives?
Have you ever read The Veil and the Male Elite (also called "Women and Islam: A Historical and Theological Enquiry") by Fatima Mernissi? She really believes that Islam is about true equality for everyone, and she uses historical research to make some very strong arguments about certain hadith which speak about women being inferior to their husbands, or having to bow down to them. She argues that many of these hadith were falsified, the products of political manueverings, and are NOT true to Islam. Whether or not you agree with her at the end of the book, you should check it out. At least read the book before deciding to attribute equal import to the hadith as the guideline for your life decisions.
btw i dont mean to offend anyone, but i'm feeling grumpy, so i wanted to argue a lil bit. :)