Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

Honey, its called a breast pump, if you really want to feed the kids for 2 years each. Feeding for 2 years is not a requirement by any means. Like I said, even the Quran asks you to consult a knowledgable source (ex. doctor).

Even if you breast feed for 2 years, no problem. I'm not talking about working when the kids are little. Like I said, do you need to breast feed when the kid is 7? Do you need those breasts when your kids are in school and growing up...are u planning on going to school every other hour to shove your breast in their mouth? I hope not. My question is, what will you do when your kids are in school and beyond? At that point, your husband has no Islamic right to even ask you to stay in the home.

And this thread is not entirely about working. Its about being a ghulam to the man in your life. Its about subjecting your dignity to his whim, regardless of whether he's just or not. Its about women who are in professional school being insecure about their marriage, and giving up their dignity and intelligence to become some guy's maasi.

Maybe this example does not pertain to how you envision your marriage to be, in which case, wonderful.

Lussi, of course, you do what is best for your baby or marriage. But as of yet, no one has answered my question. Do you need your female genitals to take care of housework, and a 7 year old kid? I thought the use of the vagina ends at childbirth and the use of boobs end at breast feeding. Surely there is life beyond that stage in family life?

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@sadzzz

man, theres a lot of women going to hell then.. including me

I disagree with the former, couldn’t disagree with the latter. Women like you create your own hell in this world. There are lot of sane, well adjusted, professional women who find compromises to build happy and healthy lives.

[sadzzz]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@LuxuryItem

I disagree with the former, couldn’t disagree with the latter. Women like you create your own hell in this world. There are lot of sane, well adjusted, professional women who find compromises to build happy and healthy lives.

im confused… where did i say that i wasnt going to compromise? when did i say that im going to do as i please… all ive been saying in this entire thread is that a marriage should be more about just obeying and disobeying.. theres a thing called compromise and communication… and Alhamdulillah, i have that with my mister…

as a women, i know what my obligations and responsibilities are..

very judgemental of u

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@PyariCgudia

Honey, its called a breast pump, if you really want to feed the kids for 2 years each. Feeding for 2 years is not a requirement by any means. Like I said, even the Quran asks you to consult a knowledgable source (ex. doctor).

Even if you breast feed for 2 years, no problem. I’m not talking about working when the kids are little. Like I said, do you need to breast feed when the kid is 7? Do you need those breasts when your kids are in school and growing up…are u planning on going to school every other hour to shove your breast in their mouth? I hope not. My question is, what will you do when your kids are in school and beyond? At that point, your husband has no Islamic right to even ask you to stay in the home.

And this thread is not entirely about working. Its about being a ghulam to the man in your life. Its about subjecting your dignity to his whim, regardless of whether he’s just or not. Its about women who are in professional school being insecure about their marriage, and giving up their dignity and intelligence to become some guy’s maasi.

Maybe this example does not pertain to how you envision your marriage to be, in which case, wonderful.

Lussi, of course, you do what is best for your baby or marriage. But as of yet, no one has answered my question. Do you need your female genitals to take care of housework, and a 7 year old kid? I thought the use of the vagina ends at childbirth and the use of boobs end at breast feeding. Surely there is life beyond that stage in family life?

i knew you would say something about breast pumps. Ask any doctor or lactation consultant..breast pumping wont give you a supply for 2 yrs. …anyway thats waaay off the topic.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

mouth falls open

Why would the idea of making a 2 year stock of breast milk even enter your mind?? You breast pump the night before, and you have fresh stock for the few hours you're at work. That's if you intend on working in the first place.

I can't believe I had to explain that one.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@LuxuryItem

I disagree with the former, couldn’t disagree with the latter. Women like you create your own hell in this world. There are lot of sane, well adjusted, professional women who find compromises to build happy and healthy lives.

i agree with that…

demanding that a man stay at home and take care of the kids is not a compromise.

[sadzzz]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@AnGeL EyEs

i agree with that…

demanding that a man stay at home and take care of the kids is not a compromise.

whose asking the man to stay at home??

there are a lot of professional women out there who balance their career, kids and have a very happy marriage…

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

oh jeez. People don't know a rhetorical question if it slammed them square in the face.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@PyariCgudia

Honey, its called a breast pump, if you really want to feed the kids for 2 years each. Feeding for 2 years is not a requirement by any means. Like I said, even the Quran asks you to consult a knowledgable source (ex. doctor).

Even if you breast feed for 2 years, no problem. I’m not talking about working when the kids are little. Like I said, do you need to breast feed when the kid is 7? Do you need those breasts when your kids are in school and growing up…are u planning on going to school every other hour to shove your breast in their mouth? I hope not. My question is, what will you do when your kids are in school and beyond? At that point, your husband has no Islamic right to even ask you to stay in the home.

And this thread is not entirely about working. Its about being a ghulam to the man in your life. Its about subjecting your dignity to his whim, regardless of whether he’s just or not. Its about women who are in professional school being insecure about their marriage, and giving up their dignity and intelligence to become some guy’s maasi.

Maybe this example does not pertain to how you envision your marriage to be, in which case, wonderful.

Lussi, of course, you do what is best for your baby or marriage. But as of yet, no one has answered my question. Do you need your female genitals to take care of housework, and a 7 year old kid? I thought the use of the vagina ends at childbirth and the use of boobs end at breast feeding. Surely there is life beyond that stage in family life?

yes you do need it… because men have a hormone called testosterone…and we all know what role that can play.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@sadzzz

whose asking the man to stay at home??

there are a lot of professional women out there who balance their career, kids and have a very happy marriage…

the threadmaker.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

No, I am not asking men to stay at home. Think lawyer, think.

I'm asking WHY men are not asked to stay at home.

Two very different questions, with two very different intents. Seriously, are u really in law school?

[Fayz]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@PyariCgudia

And this thread is not entirely about working. Its about being a ghulam to the man in your life. Its about subjecting your dignity to his whim, regardless of whether he’s just or not. Its about women who are in professional school being insecure about their marriage, and giving up their dignity and intelligence to become some guy’s maasi.

I’m not sure what are you trying to suggest. If two professionals marry eachother, the one who stays home is the ghulam of the other? How is dignity involved in making a bond work?

Should the tables be turned i.e. professional women look for stay home guys…or shoudl they for professional guys who don’t have much of an ego or concerns regarding losing their dignity?
Or both should work and not have kids… or have kids but spend equal time with them (how practical is that incase of 9-5 jobs) ?

Do you have solutions or just problems? help us out here

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

Pray tell, how do you make the connection of male testosterone with justifying that a woman needs her boobs to do housework?

[Lusi]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

I think if someone is not career oriented,(despite of whatever MD, PhD they have) they will find ten thousand excuses to stay home even if the husband needs her help. If the women is career oriented, then she will find a way to balance everything out.

and ya for breast pumps, you don't pump 2 year supply in 1 day, every day you would pump new milk for that specific time you have to leave the baby to a baby sitter/child care.
Some women can not actually produce milk for 2 consective years or sometimes their milk does not meet the requirements of the baby and they are advised to start formula milk.

[sadzzz]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@AnGeL EyEs

yes you do need it… because men have a hormone called testosterone…and we all know what role that can play.

hmm??

[S02]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

I've met a couple men who have stayed home to raise the kids while their wives worked (for several reasons, one was there own desire and another was the fact that the wife made more money). But those men are obviously pretty rare. Why are gender roles constructed this way? Well there are lots of reasons, and I suppose you can look at it from an anthropological, biological, religious, etc perspective and come up with different reasons. I'm not sure that there is a simple answer, aside from the fact that because the women are so involved in the beginning of the kid's life, they remain at home and involved for the rest of it, often rejecting or not considering other options out of choice, pressure, or force.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@Fayz

I’m not sure what are you trying to suggest. If two professionals marry eachother, the one who stays home is the ghulam of the other? How is dignity involved in making a bond work?

Should the tables be turned i.e. professional women look for a stay home guys…or professional guys who don’t have much of an ego or concerns regarding losing their dignity?
Or both should work and not have kids… or have kids but spend equal time with them (how practical is that incase of 9-5 jobs) ?

Do you have solutions or just problems? help us out here

No Fayz, again, you misunderstand. As I said before, its not an issue of sitting at home or not. Its an issue of blindly obeying your husband even if it means doing something you dont want to do, just because, as Angel Eyes has demonstrated, that (as the myth goes), you must do everything your husband orders you to do.

Marriage, at least in my humble opinion, is not about one person barking orders and the other following. It should not have to be that way, at least, nor do I think that’s how an Islamic marriage is run.

Rather, the right way to do it is compromise. Of course, I dont argue against that.

What I am asking, is specifically about professional women, with their training and their ability to deal with people in a professional and sophisticated manner…how do some of them morph into attention-seeking insecure girls that will tolerate abuse (as indicated by examples given in the initial post) from their husband, just because he is “the man”?

I would think that at least a professional woman would have more strength and courage, just given the advantage of her career training and situations she’s probably gone thru, to stand her ground, when she’s being abused.

Now i’m not talking about guys who want a sit-at-home wife, because I woudl think a professional woman would be able to sort out that issue before marriage, according to her wants. But why do these women become spineless when their husbands and in-laws pressure them to give up their career WHEN THEY DO NOT WANT TO. Or when they’re being physically/emotionally abused by the husband? Fayz, I am sure you don’t condone that sort of behavior. However, I’ve seen some girls get into these situaitons, and they say the same thing…“Oh well, he’s my husband, so I’m just trying to be a good wife”…

Tolerating abuse is being a good wife? Professional training has taught desi girls that?

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

@PyariCgudia

No, I am not asking men to stay at home. Think lawyer, think.

I’m asking WHY men are not asked to stay at home.

Two very different questions, with two very different intents. Seriously, are u really in law school?

dont mock me…if you want to argue something that is fine but dont get personal with me…understood?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

Then don't mock others, if you wish to be respected. Mein koi tumhari bakhwaas sunay wali nahi hoon, samjhi?

[S02]

Re: Professional Women in a Bollywood Daze?

Maybe the issue isn't the women, how they are raised, and what they are thinking. It is rather the way men are raised and what they expect. Some men grow up thinking it's okay to demand such things of their wives. Very few women grow up thinking the same way, I think.