Do you believe our Pakistani female professionals are still stuck in the typical traditional daze that most pakistani girls seem stuck in?
Examples are not limited to:
ex. Dreaming of a bollywood-type encounter with prince charming…like meeting him on one of those tourist glass-sheeshay trains in Europe or like, at your cousin’s shaadi?
ex. wanting to be a good wife who obeys everything her husband says and even will take his jootay off and give him foot massages every night if he asks for it.
ex. babying her in-laws, because that is the “dutiful” thing to do.
ex. surprise-surprise…giving up the job if the husband/in-laws want her to…even if she spent 4 years trying to get into medical school, 4 years in medical school, plus like 6 years residency to become a neurosurgeon (or however long it is - who knows).
eww eww would NEVER do it…its either MY way or Highway!!
PCG u raised a good point, it all depends how u have raised up and in what kind a family.
There are many smart, intelligent and Suggar girls in pakistan or in states studying hard but when it comes to getting marrying, I just dont know what happens to their own point of views.
Mostly girls, think about their family and their values, I think thats where the yend up giving up their jobs after the marriage or baby sitting their in laws b/c they dont want their parents to look bad!
It doesn’t matter how educated, how professionally successful you are. Every woman wants to be loved and cherished by taht special guy, it doesn’t make her weak, it doesn’t make her a paindu larki. And I think bolly movies are absolute crap so no, my views don’t come from being bmbarded by garbage.
As a Muslim woman you have to obey your husband as long as he’s not being a dick. And what’s wrong with foot massages? What’s wrong with taking care of your in-laws? They are your new family, and though you cannot have hte same relationshp wiht them as you do with your own family, what’s wrong with showing respect and kindness and love to them?
Yes, I did. But that didn’t mean I closed off all other possibilities. Romance is appealing even to us professionals (or more so, perhaps).
Sure, but he is never unreasonable or even demanding. What bothers me sometimes is that we have our way of communicating and doing things. Like if I’m doing most of the cooking, he’ll do most of the cleaning. We do stuff together, but give each other a break too. But when others are around (his parents or whatever) I become much more self-conscious and feel that all of the household responsibilities are mine. So if stuff doesn’t get done, I feel the stress.
I feel like I should usually, just cuz 1) They aren’t particularly demanding; 2) to be respecful, and 3)I like to be good at everything which is totally unhealthy but I can’t help it.
I don’t think I’d do that, unless it was causing so much tension in the family that it was hurting a marriage that I wanted to save. However, this is all hypothetical cuz I can’t imagine myself in that situation.
ex. Dreaming of a bollywood-type encounter with prince charming...like meeting him on one of those tourist glass-sheeshay trains in Europe or like, at your cousin's shaadi?
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hahaha. I don't think so. I know I never did.
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ex. wanting to be a good wife who obeys everything her husband says and even will take his jootay off and give him foot massages every night if he asks for it.
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I don't mind being a good wife, taking his shoes off, giving foot massage every night ONLY and ONLY if I get the same treatment back.
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ex. babying her in-laws, because that is the "dutiful" thing to do.
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babying is not what I like to call it. How can I expect my husband to treat my mother right if I treat his mother like ****. Its give and take.
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ex. surprise-surprise...giving up the job if the husband/in-laws want her to...even if she spent 4 years trying to get into medical school, 4 years in medical school, plus like 6 years residency to become a neurosurgeon (or however long it is - who knows)
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This question use to boil my blood as my mother had to go through the same thing. but now as she looks back, she actually finds the decision quite right. I really don't know the answer to this, but knowing my fiancee I really don't mind giving up my job.
Let me ask this. Why don't we ask the men to give up their jobs and sit at home and take care of housework and children? Serious answers, since this is actually a serious question.
Is it cuz we have female genitals? I mean really. Does taking care of a 7 year old require a specific set of genitals?
^ First off you’re assuming that the wife earns more than the husband (or atleast as much). I think you would agree that this is rarely the case. If working is such a priority then I am sure the couple would discuss such matters before marriage/baby. It’s unfair to expect either party to give up their careers, such details needed to have been sorted out beforehand. My question to such workaholics is, why have the kid in the first place if you’re going to argue over who is going to take care of it. Sheesh. Poor kid is gonna have to compete with the boss for attention
PS. Only female genitals are capable of giving birth. A subtle hint maybe?
Of giving birth yes. But answer the question. I'm talking about raising a 7 year old. You need boobs for that? I didn't know that. I've seen fathers taking care of their kids and spending time with them. They don't have female genitalia, I would hope.
And its not that she's making more money. She could be making just as much as the guy. In that case, why doesn't the guy sit at home and give up his career for the sake of the family. Think outside the gender bias you've been raised with and try to come up with a serious answer.
But I think it is cz this is the centuries old tradition followed by all the societies regardless of their religion. But as the world has entered the ‘Aquarian age’, I think things, traditions are changing in the world. Very slowly but changing. Things will be very different century after century. The evolution cannot be stopped. It is very natural.
PCG -- part of it is also that I think one of the few duties of a woman actually discussed in the Quran (correct me if I am wrong) is to raise the children well. All other stuff culturally attributed to females (food, cleaning, nice home, etc) is what the man is supposed to provide for his family.
But I think choice is key. If I were forced to do any of the stuff mentioned in your post, I would refuse. It's only because I have the option not to that I'm okay with it. :D
yea, who knows PCG, maybe alot of whities been watching bollywood too. Alot of their women stay at home as opposed to the men) and similarly they also seem to dream of romantic Prince Charmings.
Maybe they only watched the second half of dil-wale-dulhaniya-lai jaigai? :p
i reckon thats the way they should act caring for thir hubby and their familes.
Sorry but my way or highway is ridiculous!! don’t get into marrige if u are not flexible, its not fun, lady!
you need 9months to bear the baby + 1 or 2 years to breastfeed her, then another 9 months for another baby, etc…if you have 4 children, it means some 4/5 years spent nursing and pregnant…so away from the job, during that time the man takes the habit of working and the wife of staying home…plus being away from job market and business world means in a fast evolving world that your skills no matter how high they were are beoming out of date…so you’ll stay home even when the kids are growing…
is that a serious answer?
