Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
My own story allhumlillah very positive got married to a guy from pakistan engineer (softwear)lived with him back home for 10 months, he just got here and with in 2 month has a great job... we both still working to save up but very happy allhumallah best husband
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Being an immigrant myself I have no problem with most of the things you listed in the "immigrants can't master all this"post. So it's tough for me to imagine other people from Pakistan having problem with them. I mean smiling, heck there's nothing easier than that. Yeah, what does take time is learning the culture, language, their nuances. Figuring out what kinda personal development you need takes time too.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Saeed Remember the infamous Zardari Hand shake where he wouldn’t` let go of Pallins hand…that kind of finesse ad smiles.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
^ The best thing someone can do is to educate themselves in improving soft skills, a big part of learning is unlearning, back home emotional outbursts, threats, intimidation, guilt trips kind of things produce results, here courtesy, politeness, happy demeanor kind of things get results. My mandate is that we do not hire emotional people, they are too much of a drag on the team.
Well i agree with you on improving the soft skills but that's definitely not the focal point in-terms of building a team (Individual skills, dedication, commitment & persistence etc.. are). 2nd thing, it's a totally wrong perception that emotional peoples creates major conflicts (infact emotional peoples are much easier to handle/manage from management prospective during conflicts ). I mainly work with American & European organizations on different projects and threat is what they use all the time to get their job done (internally & externally). To prove a point, look at Obama administration / government they use threats to resolve any dispute or conflict, you can study Iran Nuclear case, Pakistan - Iran gas pipe line. North Korea Nuclear case to name just few. Oh, also I never met a emotion-less person in my life ( Yes, some are less emotional then others ) and definitely I would also like to read some proven management theory about building & managing a team of emotion-less peoples.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
what about this …!!
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
^ Touche
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Why did the girls go back to Pakistan to live with their husbands? Is that part of the immigration process?
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
My friend recently got married (well 2 years ago) and the guy is a pilot in Pakistan for the "agha khan foundation." At first it was really hard for her to adjust because she ha just finished her first year at University and at that time she was not ready,but her tayyabu wanted all the girls of their family married before they hit 20.The guy recently came to Canada but he has a secure job because he had a lot of experience and apparently his boss knew someone here that would hire him right away. I have seen many people get married and struggle to meet ends,but by far this "Imported man" is really hard working.On top of everything he is really understanding,he isn't lazy and he actually helps her out with daily chores. Go figures, whjy can't everyone be like that...ANyways she is expecting her first child and it makes me happy she has good inlaws. Her mother passed away when she was 12 and so it has always just been her dad and her...
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
yes.
this one handsome boy came from pakistan. He swept pcg off her feet.
Few years later. PCG was posting in life one, MIL thread.
Then in life5 pcg posting Chiltern thread. yayyyy
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Well i agree with you on improving the soft skills but that's definitely not the focal point in-terms of building a team (Individual skills, dedication, commitment & persistence etc.. are). 2nd thing, it's a totally wrong perception that emotional peoples creates major conflicts (infact emotional peoples are much easier to handle/manage from management prospective during conflicts ). I mainly work with American & European organizations on different projects and threat is what they use all the time to get their job done (internally & externally). To prove a point, look at Obama administration / government they use threats to resolve any dispute or conflict, you can study Iran Nuclear case, Pakistan - Iran gas pipe line. North Korea Nuclear case to name just few. Oh, also I never met a emotion-less person in my life ( Yes, some are less emotional then others ) and definitely I would also like to read some proven management theory about building & managing a team with emotion-less peoples.
I personally believe that emotional control is what separates us from animals, we give training to employees to not allow the amygdala hijack to occur where the emotional side of the brain hijacks the logical side, children jump with joy, cry, get angry easily, love easily, hate easily are easy to control but do not make good employees. ps out of respect for pcg we can discuss this on anther tread.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
yes.
this one handsome boy came from pakistan. He swept pcg off her feet. Few years later. PCG was posting in life one, MIL thread.
Then in life5 pcg posting Chiltern thread. yayyyy
Good to know someone has duas and not baduas.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
inshallah pcg
inshallah...
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
This is sad.
I personally believe that emotional control is what separates us from animals, we give training to employees to not allow the amygdala hijack to occur where the emotional side of the brain hijacks the logical side, children jump with joy, cry, get angry easily, love easily, hate easily are easy to control but do not make good employees. ps out of respect for pcg we can discuss this on anther tread.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
This is sad.
Why is it sad?
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Tell me now if it still is sad.
The technical definitionThe amygdala hijack is an** immediate, overwhelming emotional response** with a later realization that the response was inappropriately strong given the trigger. Daniel Goleman coined the term based on the work of neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, which demonstrated that some emotional information travels directly from the thalamus to the amygdala without engaging the neocortex, or higher brain regions. This causes a strong emotional response that precedes more rational thought.
Huh, what does that mean?The amygdala hijack basically equates to “freaking out” or seriously overreacting to an event in your life.
Imagine you’ve been shopping all day with your 9-year old. At the end of the trip, you decide to go to the grocery store. As you walk through the produce section, your child says “Hey, look what I can do!” and begins juggling three apples. As you watch the apples fall to the floor you find yourself screaming and marching him out the door!
On the car ride home, you realize that your son was simply trying to demonstrate his new-found juggling abilities and that your angry response was unwarranted or at least out of proportion to the situation. You** regret your hasty response** and apologize for reacting so poorly while reiterating that he cannot juggle store produce in the future. The question is, why did you “freak out” in the first place? You had an amygdala hijack.
Under normal circumstances, you process information through your neocortex or ”thinking brain” where logic occurs. The neocortex then routes the information to the amygdala, a small organ which lies deep in the center of your “emotional brain.” On occasion, there is a short circuit whereby the “thinking brain” is bypassed and signals are sent straight to the “emotional brain.” When this happens, you have an immediate, overwhelming emotional response disproportionate to the original event. The information is later relayed to higher brain regions that perform logic and decision-making processes, causing you to realize the inappropriateness of your original emotional response.
Why does this happen? Hundreds of thousands of years ago this type of immediate emotional response served a purpose. Imagine you were out collecting food for your family. Along the way, you found yourself face-to-face with a ravenous, four-legged creature that also happened to be out looking for a snack. In this situation, your brain would waste no time in rational thinking. Thanks to the amygdala hijack, you would bust be thrown into a flight or fight response, and hopefully survive to tell the story.
In modern life, of course, we are unlikely to encounter ravenous, blood-thirsty beasts. We are, however, almost certain to encounter drivers that cut us off, disrespectful colleagues, children that misbehave, and countless other situations that may very well lead to the occasional amygdala hijack.
How do I use this in my life?The amygdala hijack may leave you regretting your overwhelming emotional response to a situation. Knowing about the amygdala hijack allows you to prevent it by remaining aware of your emotions during potentially triggering events. For example, if your daughter spills a container of juice onto your freshly scrubbed kitchen floor, think carefully about the stimulus that is triggering your angry response. Recognizing that your daughter’s action was a mistake that she likely feels sorry for prevents you from responding with overwhelming frustration.
Another way to prevent amygdala hijacking is to use the 6-second rule. Waiting for just six seconds causes the brain chemicals that cause amygdala hijacking to diffuse away. Breathing deeply or focusing on a pleasant image helps to prevent your amygdala from taking control and causing an emotional reaction.
Over time, you can change the way your brain responds to emotional triggers, preventing the amygdala hijacking response. To rewire your brain in this way, think carefully about the triggering situation after you tame your emotional reaction. Identify the trigger and determine a more appropriate response to use next time. Your amygdala learns from past experiences, allowing you to change the way in which you react to a similar situation in the future.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
I m sure I will draw some ire for this post but** when the old pervs get a mail order bride, they always get someone very young and beautiful, shouldn't the girls kind of go for the gold also*, **immigration is such a huge prize*, if a girl was to put it out there, she would get millions of proposals like gold medallist in academics, one of my Hindu female friend married a gold medalist Pharmacist from India and they are doing amazingly well, not too much interference from families though.
Most imported desi brides are alright looking, unlike the mail order brides who, as you say, are always very hot and young.
I think the purpose of importing brides (mail order or desi) is not necesarily to get someone very hot. Neither are the men always old pervs. Plenty of young western men are going to Asian countries to meet women. I think it reflects how difficult, harsh and competetive the dating/sexual/ relationship marketplace is for men in the west. There is immense pressure on men to be conventionally good looking, tall, and basically have everything going in life.
You talked about your 6-2 handsome succesful friend being rejected left and right and I tell you that doesnt surprise me. I have a cousin settled in Canada - 35-something, 5'3", alright looking in her youth, makes around 50K, nothing special about her lifestyle - says she'd only marry if the guy looks like John Abraham. Literally.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Can’t really debate this one, unless I meet more Pakistania out here. I’m gonna throw in my towel for now.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
Most imported desi brides are alright looking, unlike the mail order brides who, as you say, are always very hot and young.
I think the purpose of importing brides (mail order or desi) is not necesarily to get someone very hot. Neither are the men always old pervs. Plenty of young western men are going to Asian countries to meet women. I think it reflects how difficult, harsh and competetive the dating/sexual/ relationship marketplace is for men in the west. There is immense pressure on men to be conventionally good looking, tall, and basically have everything going in life.
You talked about your 6-2 handsome succesful friend being rejected left and right and I tell you that doesnt surprise me. I have a cousin settled in Canada - 35-something, 5'3", alright looking in her youth, makes around 50K, nothing special about her lifestyle - says she'd only marry if the guy looks like John Abraham. Literally.
The rules have changed and you can't play by old rules, before it was the girls that were the risk takers, now it is the guys that take the major risk, they can take your house, your money and kids by snapping a finger, but in the end they did not win because the Gora boyz are not motivated to be financially successful and they figure, If I am going to loose it anyways why not blow it on having fun, They have gorgeous girlfriends but they don't seem to invest financially or emotionally in them, the girls pay half of everything, they help in physically demanding task like mowing, shovelling moving etc, they don't need protection or security. Boyz get to enjoy the company of amazingly beautiful companions, do tons of activities for a short time and move on, If you are looking for lifelong companionship then you will get badly burnt...as one of assistant put it, it is an era of serial monogamy.
Re: Positive Stories about Imported Men
positive story
two of my closest pals were born and raised in Pakistan, came here for education (undergrad) and are married to girls born and raised here. Great guys, wives are happy, dudes are successful.
were they imported, no..but had spent formative years in Pak and have adjusted well to life here. not everyone does...so its a question of the individual..what are they like.