1: Found a doctor in pakistan, been married for 10+ years doing great. He was from Karachi and was ready to change to American style, adjusted fine.
2: Married a doctor as well, girls family had a lot of issues since the guys wasn't ready to change to the american style. The girl finally
gave in and changed her self. Happily married for 7 years.
A gori girl met my cousin online (he was in pakistan at the time.) when over to meet him, got married, stayed in pakistan for two year to learn urdu and the culture. They moved back to the US and have been happily married for 9 years now.
i know an uncle from India who married a cognitively impaired woman relative in Canada. i dunno how but they have managed to stay married for 37 years and they are still seemingly happily married.
uncle had to give up his career in order to raise his family. he single handedly raised all of his children perfectly.all of their children are doing amazingly great professionally and academically.
since the their children moved out, they have been living independently together. kids make regular visits. they seem to be very happy. uncle takes care of aunty. it gives me immense pleasure to see them happy and contented in their lives. i solute uncle and aunty for their great work of adjusting and raising a fine family...may Allah reward them for their efforts. aameen
I'm a guy and I would not recommend this unless you're really traditional girl living abroad and just looking to be a housewife rest of your life. Guys back home are not very broad minded unless they grew up in liberal environment and may not be very particular about the change in a new country and starting their careers from ground zero. This is only my opinion and I have seen these kinda marriages, both, fail and somewhat succeed. But I personally feel it is lot tougher for someone to adjust with a person who grew up back home.
Remember girls are easier to mold than guys!
I have this gut feeling that you aren't really looking for positive stories and are looking for validation that the deck is stacked against positive outcomes, Girls r so picky right now that they are having a hard time accepting even born and raised professionals here, my cousin, handsome dude 6-2, Engineer and MBA 100k plus job is getting rejected left right and centre, I think a lot of the chicks have boyfriends in the closet but go thru the motions to appease the parents.
As for imported boyz u know oil and water don't mix.
As for imported boyz u know oil and water don't mix.
That isn’t necessarily true. If both parties are willing to compromise and make adjustments, it is possible to have a successful marriage to someone from abroad. I have a friend who married a gentleman from back home (back home being Afghanistan in my case) about 3 years back and they are quite happy. He didn’t have any issues getting a job in his field either. It was not immediate but it also didn’t take him more than half a year (including the time it took take a couple of equivalency exams). However, during the time that he was looking for a job and getting everything sorted, he didn’t find it beneath him to do household stuff while my friend was at work and my friend didn’t act as if she was doing him a favour by marrying him or by taking care of the household bills for the time being.
Also, contrary to popular opinion, it isn't only the "imported" partner that must adjust. The other person must be willing to adjust to living with a person who had a different upbringing than themselves and most likely has a different outlook on certain things. Both people must be willing to adjust and make compromises and make concessions if necessary. The problem with some people is that they hold the belief that it is only the “imported” partner that must adjust and are not willing to make any adjustments themselves.
I have this gut feeling that you aren't really looking for positive stories and are looking for validation that the deck is stacked against positive outcomes, Girls r so picky right now that they are having a hard time accepting even born and raised professionals here, my cousin, handsome dude 6-2, Engineer and MBA 100k plus job is getting rejected left right and centre, I think a lot of the chicks have boyfriends in the closet but go thru the motions to appease the parents.
As for imported boyz u know oil and water don't mix.
I don't know if girls have boyfriends or not but will agree they are sure getting pickier, I am having so much trouble finding a nice and educated girl for my brother and that's all we are asking for.
As far as PCG your concern is regarding imported vs non-imported boys, you can hear both positives and negatives stories as long as you want but ultimately you can give it your best and pray for a good outcome as every person and circumstances are different from others. No guarantee American or Canadian or whatever will have the same compatibility vs an imported husband. Every time I visit Pakistan I feel the guys and girls are so more advanced and updated on all kind of issues that my husband and his cousins born and raised in US appear so outdated and belonging to 19th century.
That isn’t necessarily true. If both parties are willing to compromise and make adjustments, it is possible to have a successful marriage to someone from abroad. I have a friend who married a gentleman from back home (back home being Afghanistan in my case) about 3 years back and they are quite happy. He didn’t have any issues getting a job in his field either. It was not immediate but it also didn’t take him more than half a year (including the time it took take a couple of equivalency exams). However, during the time that he was looking for a job and getting everything sorted, he didn’t find it beneath him to do household stuff while my friend was at work and my friend didn’t act as if she was doing him a favour by marrying him or by taking care of the household bills for the time being.
Also, contrary to popular opinion, it isn't only the "imported" partner that must adjust. The other person must be willing to adjust to living with a person who had a different upbringing than themselves and most likely has a different outlook on certain things. Both people must be willing to adjust and make compromises and make concessions if necessary. The problem with some people is that they hold the belief that it is only the “imported” partner that must adjust and are not willing to make any adjustments themselves.
You are right that was a generalization on my part and I did not put too much thought into it, now I will wear another hat sort of an actuary, people should minimize risk in their lives, first of all you don't know the guy, secondly Pakistanis are notorious for inadaptability. I would like to investigate the adaptability factor, even people living here should reinvent themselves periodically, I take self improvement courses every year, my kid brothers Kayak team just hired a sports psychologist that was the first for me.
Big risk should be taken only when potential rewards are great, Doctor fine the potential rewards are big, millionaire, very handsome ect
^You're quite right about the adaptability bit. If a person is not very adaptable, they're going to struggle regardless of who they marry (local or from abroad) as marriage requires a bit of adjustment on the part of both people.
I don't know if girls have boyfriends or not but will agree they are sure getting pickier, I am having so much trouble finding a nice and educated girl for my brother and that's all we are asking for.
As far as PCG your concern is regarding imported vs non-imported boys, you can hear both positives and negatives stories as long as you want but ultimately you can give it your best and pray for a good outcome as every person and circumstances are different from others. No guarantee American or Canadian or whatever will have the same compatibility vs an imported husband. Every time I visit Pakistan I feel the guys and girls are so more advanced and updated on all kind of issues that my husband and his cousins born and raised in US appear so outdated and belonging to 19th century.
I have a very rewarding career and love to mentor younger people, the job market is becoming more rewarding towards soft skills like do you always smile, do you always seem positive and energetic, do you have proper posture, are you aware of current issues, do you know to be politically correct all the time, proper eye contact et, not too many imported people can master that.
I did mean passport. I don’t know, I’m confused now lol. I read this somewhere on some random website and it seemed like a pretty legitimate thing to do? You really mean to say that I don’t have the freedom to give up my nationality?
^You're quite right about the adaptability bit. If a person is not very adaptable, they're going to struggle regardless of who they marry (local or from abroad) as marriage requires a bit of adjustment on the part of both people.
I more meant it for employment, I was trying to help some people, the guy was a big wig in Saudi with a multinational, he got a good job here thru my influence but he was rude and abrasive towards staff members, did not maintain proper grooming and now works as a security guard.
^That's crazy. I think it would be such a shame to lose out on a good job over something like that. I mean, given the world we live in and how competitive things have become, how are people not mindful of these things?
U have to live in Saudi Arabia to know how rude and abrasive ppl can be and still move up the corporate ladder. It is for this reason that u will never see a Saudi behaving like a Saudi and still making it in the international scene. The ones that do manage to live and work in other countries have mothers from another nationality who have groomed their children in a more normal way and to be good citizens and ppl. My husband has always told me that all the Saudis he ever met who were nice normal ppl always had non-Saudi mothers.
^ The best thing someone can do is to educate themselves in improving soft skills, a big part of learning is unlearning, back home emotional outbursts, threats, intimidation, guilt trips kind of things produce results, here courtesy, politeness, happy demeanor kind of things get results. My mandate is that we do not hire emotional people, they are too much of a drag on the team.
I m sure I will draw some ire for this post but when the old pervs get a mail order bride, they always get someone very young and beautiful, shouldn't the girls kind of go for the gold also, immigration is such a huge prize, if a girl was to put it out there, she would get millions of proposals like gold medallist in academics, one of my Hindu female friend married a gold medalist Pharmacist from India and they are doing amazingly well, not too much interference from families though.
I have a very rewarding career and love to mentor younger people, the job market is becoming more rewarding towards soft skills like do you always smile, do you always seem positive and energetic, do you have proper posture, are you aware of current issues, do you know to be politically correct all the time, proper eye contact et,** not too many imported **people can master that.
That's true for people everywhere. There's no dearth of dimwits even here in the US.
Hmm. I'm guessing not a lot of those cab drivers went to college here. For those cab drivers it's more about not having a local college degree, hence never being able to get their foot in the door. I might be wrong, not a lot of cabs where I live.
Hmm. I'm guessing not a lot of those cab drivers went to college here. For those cab drivers it's more about not having a local college degree, hence never being able to get their foot in the door. I might be wrong, not a lot of cabs where I live.
I believe that the mandate is to keep the money with the Goras, at one time they had more education than the immigrant's so they paid educated people more, IQ tests were geared for whites, now more and more companies are requiring personality testing for rewarding positions ad that will be a way to weed out the immigrants, it is imperative to attend personality development courses, Chinese immigrants assimilate very quickly as they are brought up to be less aggressive and adaptable, Chinese quote. "Be like water and take the shape of vessel you are poured in."
