you right...porn is degrading to women. The women in these movies have degraded themselves. I think the porn star herself is doing a fine job disrespecting herself...dont u think? but why would i feel desrespected? especially if my husband shows me respect in all the ways that count.
I wont tell my husband....you cant watch porn...if he watches it once every 2-3 yrs. however i wont be the one handing him the video. Once again you cant MAKE your husband do anything...just like he cant make you do anything.
p.s Thanks for the effort Karakush...it will get through this time (I hope) :)
I still am not understanding what you are insinuating. Here we are talking about husbands watching porn, and somehow you bring out the topic of women earning respect for themselves. How are the two related? Are you saying that the wife of a porn-watching husband has earned no respect from her husband and THAT is why he watches porn in the first place? Seems like you're trying to blame the wife for the husband's habits.
Some other points to your comments: You talk about proper reaction to the situation. Okay, so what is the "proper" reaction from a wife when she finds her husband watching porn. Do you think she has a right to address the situation? Do you think she has a right to feel badly about it? Do you think she has a right to ask him to stop?
Lets be honest here, Fayz. If you find your future wife going to a porn shop and picking up some Gay Fest cheap video, you're going to be mortified, and you will demand her to stop, and if she doesn't, you'd probably divorce her. Likewise, if you found out she was like that prior to marriage, you would not marry her in the first place.
I think women have that same right over men. Hey, you find a guy who is a porn-dog, you should not have to marry him on that grounds. You find he is a porn-dog after marriage, you have the right to tell him to fix his habits, and go so far as to divorce him if you're not comfortable. Whereas you are telling a woman to earn more respect, I'd say she doesn't need to earn respect from someone who is doing such haraam acts in the first place. If anything, he needs to respect her, since she is a good muslim enough to realize that these behaviors are not appropriate in a family home in the first place.
Ok so lets forget about watching it at home...what about watching it with his friends. Some guys are going to do it regardless....their wife can nag them about not watching it but they will find ways to watch it regardless.
Point being once again...no one can MAKE their husband give up porn if the guy doesnt want to.
So you are saying that its a sin and a problem, yet, because he's a guy, let it continue, because he wont stop anyway?
With that same logic, I can ask you, no one can MAKE a wife give up her work for her family if she doesn't want to, so let working women work.
You also say: the only reason i wouldnt want porn in my home is simply because its haram. It has nothing to do with me feeling disrespected.
Things are not haraam randomly. There is a reason that porn would be "haraam". And a wife being disrespected has a lot to do with it.
If some other muslim is doing haraam, your own religion tells you that you need to make them understand that what they are doing is haraam. Letting your husband watch it, is accepting it as OK. Then you really don't think its haraam.
prostitution is the worlds oldest profession and porn just its latest form and it just doesnt seem reasonable to assume that men put each n evry single woman up to it.
besides ,the sound effects ,stances and postures in porn seem pretty voluntary and not like those wen a gun is put to the head.
ps:funguy let me know if using colored text is allowed or not coz u didnt reply to the pm.
it is disrespect and if he still persists the wife wud leave him for its a heinous sin.so is this course of action exclusively for porn matters or for other sins as well?
if for other matters pertaining to sin as well then:
1]how many wives we see storming off if their husband lies habitually?
2]how many leave their husbands if the husband prays but is a hypocrite in life?
3]how many leave wen the hubby drinks alocohol?
4] indulges in gheebat and chugli and doesnt observe fast etc ?
have men generally become so perfect that only wife-beating ,wife-abusing and refraining wives from working the only sins left ? which makes wives leave em?
wat abt the issue of children?if the husband is overall a good dad to them but has this porn watching habit is this reason enuff to leave and break the family?
KARAKUSH. Women wont leave their hubbies for the above given reasons because usually its themselves who are associated with these traits, especially 1, 2 and 4. Very especially #4.
it is disrespect and if he still persists the wife wud leave him for its a heinous sin.so is this course of action exclusively for porn matters or for other sins as well?
if for other matters pertaining to sin as well then:
1]how many wives we see storming off if their husband lies habitually?
2]how many leave their husbands if the husband prays but is a hypocrite in life?
3]how many leave wen the hubby drinks alocohol?
4] indulges in gheebat and chugli and doesnt observe fast etc ?
have men generally become so perfect that only wife-beating ,wife-abusing and refraining wives from working the only sins left ? which makes wives leave em?
wat abt the issue of children?if the husband is overall a good dad to them but has this porn watching habit is this reason enuff to leave and break the family?
you read my mind. if a husband doesnt have a habit of watching porn and you walk in on him watching it in your bedroom. You are gonna make him stop? it's not like he didnt it behind your back.
when it comes to porn...i hear you women saying how much of a sin it is and i dont want my husband watching it in my home when my children are around. yet most women gossip and backbite like anything. even around the children. isnt that a sin as well? perhaps your husbands should "make you" shut your mouth in front of the kids.
Also keep in mind porn in Islam doesnt only mean watching naked bodies. It includes body parts as well. I suppose we should confine our husbands to our homes while we go out and work. we wouldnt want him to sin now would we.
I know it may not seem as if im against porn..but i am. i hate seeing how women degrades themselves. I certainly dont want my husband to watch it. But if he happened to do it every blue moon...what can i do about it? other then tell him that its a sin.
its about their ego and insecurities. most women think that if their husband is watching porn he is not satisified with them. which is not true in all cases.
Now wait till some of the resident maasi's barge in claiming watching porn is a bigger sin than gheebat and hence warrants divorce threats, whereas gheebat does not deserve such a drastic action. :D
Anyway i'd like to reiterate a point i made earlier in this thread and what Angel Eyes again made, that in Islam there is not much distinction between watching a half nude woman making simulated love to a man and watching a nude woman committing adultery. Both are equally bad. So i believe it would be the proper course of action for all the resident bibis here to immediately stop watching indian movies and the bayhoodgi that comes along with em.
