Pornography & Desi Thought

[SolarOceans]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

Angel Eyes,

If your husband watches porn and you don't want to do anything about it, that's fine. If my husband watches it and i choose to do something about it, that's my decision. Please don't assume that just because some women feel disrespected when their hubby watches porn, it is solely because of their own ego and insecurity.

[SolarOceans]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@AnGeL EyEs

you right...porn is degrading to women. The women in these movies have degraded themselves. I think the porn star herself is doing a fine job disrespecting herself...dont u think? but why would i feel desrespected? especially if my husband shows me respect in all the ways that count.

I wont tell my husband....you cant watch porn...if he watches it once every 2-3 yrs. however i wont be the one handing him the video. Once again you cant MAKE your husband do anything...just like he cant make you do anything.

I never said you could make anyone do anything. What I did say was that if he was doing it, i have a right to a reaction. Not everyone would be okay with their hubby watching it 2-3 times a year and those girls have a right to react however they choose. . . whether they choose to talk to him about it or leave him because of it.

[SolarOceans]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@hiccup

LI, not agreeing with pornography has nothing to do with a victim-complex. Similarly, nosy washer-woman woman conplex also bears no relevence if you catch my drift.

Its like all the years of struggle amount to nothing, everything that women have fought for is nullified when a woman is seen as merely a piece of meat. There is no attraction in porn beyond the very physical. Its animalistic and primal. The nature of it is also degrading. Some schools of thought argue that porn is the intention and rape the action.

In both (it is argued) there is a common vein i.e. the dissociation of the person from the act.

Alice Walker has written very elequently upon this subject, (if anyone is interested, its in "You Can't Keep a Good Woman down" the stories are called "Porn" and "Coming apart" ) albiet it is more specifically about the portrayal of black women in mainstream porn i.e they are treated/portrayed as animals. What does that say about the subconsious phychee of the poeple who get off on that kind of stuff?

This quote aptly summarises why many women have an aversion to it:

"A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual. "~Gloria Steinem

I don't know if this is in the vein of the thread.

That is a really good post but sadly it will go over the heads of most people.

[PrinceMS]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@PyariCgudia

I still am not understanding what you are insinuating. Here we are talking about husbands watching porn, and somehow you bring out the topic of women earning respect for themselves. How are the two related? Are you saying that the wife of a porn-watching husband has earned no respect from her husband and THAT is why he watches porn in the first place? Seems like you’re trying to blame the wife for the husband’s habits.

Some other points to your comments: You talk about proper reaction to the situation. Okay, so what is the “proper” reaction from a wife when she finds her husband watching porn. Do you think she has a right to address the situation? Do you think she has a right to feel badly about it? Do you think she has a right to ask him to stop?

Lets be honest here, Fayz. If you find your future wife going to a porn shop and picking up some Gay Fest cheap video, you’re going to be mortified, and you will demand her to stop, and if she doesn’t, you’d probably divorce her. Likewise, if you found out she was like that prior to marriage, you would not marry her in the first place.

I think women have that same right over men. Hey, you find a guy who is a porn-dog, you should not have to marry him on that grounds. You find he is a porn-dog after marriage, you have the right to tell him to fix his habits, and go so far as to divorce him if you’re not comfortable. Whereas you are telling a woman to earn more respect, I’d say she doesn’t need to earn respect from someone who is doing such haraam acts in the first place. If anything, he needs to respect her, since she is a good muslim enough to realize that these behaviors are not appropriate in a family home in the first place.

Ya Fayz … ab bollo …

PCG I think you intrupted it differently than intended …

don’t ask me, I am just a visitor here :chusni:

[KARAKUSH]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@hiccup

Its like all the years of struggle amount to nothing, everything that women have fought for is nullified when a woman is seen as merely a piece of meat. There is no attraction in porn beyond the very physical. Its animalistic and primal. The nature of it is also degrading.

nature of other sins is animalistic n degrading as well ,which happen on a daily basis without thought.as i said before prostituition is one of the oldest profession and there r evil men and evil women both.besides if from the earliest point of civilization to the present day men have the same primal nature wen it comes to a womans body and lust ,then i doubt any improvements can b made in the future.ofcourse religion is always there to help fight lust.

women have fought very nobly but it is not due to men only that the efforts have been nullified but its traitors from ur own ranks.if there is a buyer then there will be a seller and vice versa.

nature of porn is also degrading to men,its not something exclusive for women. how many men wud like to be compared to dogs who leap to their feet wen they see a piece of meat?

[quote]
Alice Walker has written very elequently upon this subject, (if anyone is interested, its in "You Can't Keep a Good Woman down" the stories are called "Porn" and "Coming apart" ) albiet it is more specifically about the portrayal of black women in mainstream porn i.e they are treated/portrayed as animals. What does that say about the subconsious phychee of the poeple who get off on that kind of stuff?
[/quote]

thats perverse but we r not talking abt eloquent literature on black women in porn industry but porn in general,including black, oriental, caucasian, fetishes ,kiddie porn etc.making each n every single issue abt the struggle of women against the opression of men is just not justified.

[quote]
This quote aptly summarises why many women have an aversion to it:

"A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual. "~Gloria Steinem
[/quote]

m sure it does but m also sure it doesnt for those women who,as someone ,i think dope,pointed out make one third of the traffic visiting porn sites.

[ImranQ]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

Porn Prior to marrige is something different... but a married guy watching porn is definitely disrespecting his wife. If he want more sex than he should discuss it with her im sure she'll lend a helping hand... not just more sex but she can help you refrain from such activities.

[hiccup]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@KARAKUSH

nature of other sins is animistic n degrading as well ,which happen on a daily basis without thought.as i said before prostitution is one of the oldest profession and there r evil men and evil women both.besides if from the earliest point of civilization to the present day men have the same primal nature wen it comes to a womans body and lust ,then i doubt any improvements can b made in the future.of course religion is always there to help fight lust.

women have fought very nobly but it is not due to men only that the efforts have been nullified but its traitors from ur own ranks.if there is a buyer then there will be a seller and vice versa.

nature of porn is also degrading to men,its not something exclusive for women. how many men wud like to be compared to dogs who leap to their feet wen they see a piece of meat?

thats perverse but we r not talking abt eloquent literature on black women in porn industry but porn in general,including black, oriental, caucasian, fetishes ,kiddie porn etc.making each n every single issue abt the struggle of women against the opression of men is just not justified.

m sure it does but m also sure it doesnt for those women who,as someone ,i think dope,pointed out make one third of the traffic visiting porn sites.

How can you tell that a third of them are women kaka? Its a genuine question. Was it a survey carried out by a specific website? If so then I would like to know the nature of the websites content - I think the way most of the stuff is marketed, it is mostly for men therefore to suggest that as large as 1/3 of the "clients" were women, is surprising. I'm not denying that it may indeed be the case, however we all know that statistics are fickle creatures. We can more oft than not persuade them to our whim.

Religion in this case is a moot point, the thread (admittedly I haven't read the first couple of pages) asks of the general DESI attitude towards such an activity. Desi's include Jews, Christians, Hindus and Muslims alike. The common thread therein is that of culture - the governing factor then is of social norms and what is/is not acceptable. It is not ridiculous to suggest that sex as a whole remains somewhat of a taboo in "our" cultures. In a weird kind of way. We cannot talk of sex, yet most people are more than happy with with watching some of bollywoods soft porn offerings. If you do want to compare sin however, you are more than fully aware that you have degrees of sin. Me not praying namaaz for a day is a sin - but then blasphemy is a larger sin. Me being a hypocrite is a sin but then murder is a larger sin.

So far as your (valid) points are concerned. I disagree that men are portrayed as animals, unless you are aware of a whole new genre that little innocent me knows nothing of. Seriously, I am talking from an ignorant pov and many of my preconceived notions may indeed be entirely wrong. There is also a distinction that needs to be made between being portrayed as an animal - and being in a submissive role. the latter is not animistic, the former is indeed perverse.

There was an interview I heard recently quoting that rape etc porn was being looked at almost exponentially frequently. You cannot even mean to say that the women that are involved therein did so "willingly" and so on? The very fact that some of this stuff is available opens a market for them - for which they constantly need new material - and there are only a fixed number of war victim pictures that they can get their hands on. I am not talking of porn from a religious perspective - but rather a moral one.

The issue of whether we are talking of a particular subculture or not is again moot, as without the whole the sub would not exist. Lets forget women in this for a moment, even the rape victims, let us assume that they want to be there..what of - the molestation of children for the sick pleasure of some men? That too is a form of porn. Would we as Desi's differentiate between the different forms? Would a wife say - its OK if you look at Caucasian women and orientals (and get off on those) as long as you leave the blacks and the children? Extremes do have to be evaluated when discussing the whole, although perhaps it does not apply to more than a tiny minority.

The literature is important as it explains in better words than I why some may hold issue with it. I don't make my point as well as Alive walker and my arguments possibly just stands to convince you of my arrogance and ignorance - however she will explain it better than I. That is why I mentioned the literature.

I need some chai.

[ImranQ]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@KARAKUSH

methinks its more abt ego than disrespect.
very few are so pure n sinless …edit. it wud be useless bickering.

@AnGeL EyEs

my point exactly.

its about their ego and insecurities. most women think that if their husband is watching porn he is not satisified with them. which is not true in all cases.

You guys forgot we are talking about reactions and not the reasons behind it.

ego or no ego, she has all the right in the world to demand split if she wants. We all have our own ethics and boundries and surly most women would feel disrespected when cheated.

[lollypop_man]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

gals who got probs with porn are insecure and suffer from low self esteem... as obvious here.

[Sara516]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

I wonder what u ppl think abt women who watch porn with their hubbies

Seriously, why is it any of ure business who does what in their own home? Worry abt your own husband (or wife), n keep ur nose outta everyone elses business

[parissenoor]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@AnGeL EyEs

you read my mind. if a husband doesnt have a habit of watching porn and you walk in on him watching it in your bedroom. You are gonna make him stop? it’s not like he didnt it behind your back.

when it comes to porn…i hear you women saying how much of a sin it is and i dont want my husband watching it in my home when my children are around. yet most women gossip and backbite like anything. even around the children. isnt that a sin as well? perhaps your husbands should “make you” shut your mouth in front of the kids.

Also keep in mind porn in Islam doesnt only mean watching naked bodies. It includes body parts as well. I suppose we should confine our husbands to our homes while we go out and work. we wouldnt want him to sin now would we.

I know it may not seem as if im against porn..but i am. i hate seeing how women degrades themselves. I certainly dont want my husband to watch it. But if he happened to do it every blue moon…what can i do about it? other then tell him that its a sin.

you are soooooooooooooooo sexist!!! no i don’t backbite: i tell right in the face i think you are sexist!

confine husbands?? instead we (me and my hubby) will live in a place where people have high respect and don’t walk around half naked:D
i agree with your reaction: it is exactly what i would do, tell him it is a sin, and inshallah i hope he is moral enough not to do it again.

[parissenoor]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@AnGeL EyEs

as if we are perfect and we as women dont sin!

no one is perfect, and it has nothing to do with being men or women once again you’re proving you’re highly sexist!!!

@lollypop_man

gals who got probs with porn are insecure and suffer from low self esteem… as obvious here.

“just as gals wearing burqa are more insecure than those wearing miniskirts:D”???…give me a break! :o
being moral or religious is totally different from being insecure!
i was wearing miniskirts when obese:Dbut then became more religious and though i loose weight and became far more sexy…all my too revealing clothes went to garbage:clown:…

so i am not ok with porn because it is immoral and unislamic!..now if you’re pleased to think i’m unsecure…i can’t make you think otherwise

[parissenoor]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@Captain Lota

Now wait till some of the resident maasi’s barge in claiming watching porn is a bigger sin than gheebat and hence warrants divorce threats, whereas gheebat does not deserve such a drastic action.

Anyway i’d like to reiterate a point i made earlier in this thread and what Angel Eyes again made, that in Islam there is not much distinction between watching a half nude woman making simulated love to a man and watching a nude woman committing adultery. Both are equally bad. So i believe it would be the proper course of action for all the resident bibis** here to immediately stop watching indian movies** and the bayhoodgi that comes along with em.

Sincerely,
Captain LIota

already done…but…but:( i have to discuss about it with my woh:confused:…thanks for reminding captain lota…tv:mad:!!!
i’m so thankfull that gupshup replaced my tv:blush:…no half naked women here:)

[lollypop_man]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

paris, it was meant for our feminazi posters who show up in every thread beating their chests like shiites when porn for most men is just a phase. i got over it at 16 so did a lot of others.

dope, jenny mcarthy does totay... ??? all this time i thought she was a just sweet lil girl... who is a bit naughty.

[parissenoor]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@lollypop_man

paris, it was meant for our feminazi posters who show up in every thread beating their chests like shiites when porn for most men is just a phase. i got over it at 16 so did a lot of others.

dope, jenny mcarthy does totay… ??? all this time i thought she was a just sweet lil girl… who is a bit naughty.

well it’s understandable, cause most teens are very curious at this age…but the topic was about a woman surprising husband watching porn…that’s a little disturbing cause if married i suppoes he has no reason to be curious about sexuality:D…or it means there is a problem in his bedroom:confused:

[Fayz]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@PyariCgudia

Are you saying that the wife of a porn-watching husband has earned no respect from her husband and THAT is why he watches porn in the first place? Seems like you're trying to blame the wife for the husband's habits.

Where did I blame the wife? Why are you putting words in my mouth? As for the respect, you have answered it yourself in the last paragraph of your post..read on.

@PyariCgudia

Do you think she has a right to address the situation? Do you think she has a right to feel badly about it? Do you think she has a right to ask him to stop?

Yes to all these questions.

@PyariCgudia

Lets be honest here, Fayz. If you find your future wife going to a porn shop and picking up some Gay Fest cheap video, you're going to be mortified, and you will demand her to stop, and if she doesn't, you'd probably divorce her.

I don't plan to marry a slave or own someone's fantaises no matter how sick they may be. The idea of divorce over porn sounds immature.

@PyariCgudia

Whereas you are telling a woman to earn more respect, I'd say she doesn't need to earn respect from someone who is doing such haraam acts in the first place. If anything, he needs to respect her, **since she is a good muslim enough to realize that these behaviors are not appropriate in a family home in the first place. **

Read the bolded part again, you will get the message I'm trying to convey. It's simple psychology. If you are a decent wife, you will earn respect. The earning part is not that difficult as it may sound.

[Captain_Lota]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

Fayz mian choro yaar. Kis say behes kar rahay ho. She just wants to argue for the sake of arguing. Your first post was enough to make things clear. If someone didnt understand your point from there, then they wont understand it at all. Kyun apna waqt barbaad kar rahay ho. :D

Sincerely,
Captain Lota

[Fayz]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

haha! don’t worry, it’s a day off…hey you wanna watch Amir Khan’s movie Rang de Basanti at Albion (it’s not porn ) PM me.

[CorruptAngel]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

If my husband watches porn i'll first explain to him why he shouldn't be watching it and if he still does then i'll just stop sleeping in his bedroom. As simple as that.

[KARAKUSH]

Re: Pornography & Desi Thought

@hiccup

		 				 This quote aptly summarises why many women have an aversion to it:

"A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual. "~Gloria Steinem

then

@hiccup

How can you tell that a third of them are women kaka? Its a genuine question. Was it a survey carried out by a specific website? If so then I would like to know the nature of the websites content - I think the way most of the stuff is marketed, it is mostly for men therefore to suggest that as large as 1/3 of the “clients” were women, is surprising. I’m not denying that it may indeed be the case, however we all know that statistics are fickle creatures. We can more oft than not persuade them to our whim.

assuptions [This quote aptly summarises why many women] are fickler than stats. but i will just rephrase many women visit websites.

Newsweek reported that 30 to 40 percent of the buyers are women for playstation which is mostly marketed for men and the new era of violent,gory games is gonna be targeted at women with women heroes.

Desi’s include Jews, Christians, Hindus and Muslims alike.

i honestly did not know that.

the governing factor then is of social norms

then i guess i am out,i cannot separate my religion from myself.it taints my thinking.

Seriously, I am talking from an ignorant pov and many of my preconceived notions may indeed be entirely wrong.

u have a very interesting and ‘parha likha’ point of view,a thousand times better than those who go into that feminist rage and start making abhorring assumptions.

There is also a distinction that needs to be made between being portrayed as an animal - and being in a submissive role. the latter is not animistic, the former is indeed perverse.

plz expound on it.

There was an interview I heard recently quoting that rape etc porn was being looked at almost exponentially frequently. You cannot even mean to say that the women that are involved therein did so “willingly” and so on?

source? watch nicholas cage’s 8 mm. and if u research on the net or better still watch the movies for educational purposes u will find its simulated rape.as for perverseness we see society being raped day in day out but most do nothing. me including.currently i make war of the words on gs.

The issue of whether we are talking of a particular subculture or not is again moot, as without the whole the sub would not exist. Lets forget women in this for a moment, even the rape victims, let us assume that they want to be there..what of - the molestation of children for the sick pleasure of some men? That too is a form of porn. Would we as Desi’s differentiate between the different forms? Would a wife say -* its OK if you look at Caucasian women and orientals (and get off on those) as long as you leave the blacks and the children? *Extremes do have to be evaluated when discussing the whole, although perhaps it does not apply to more than a tiny minority.

this way it becomes a discussion of morals in the human society.i am out again. and hiccup u know very well i did not mean wat u wrote in italics.extremes have to be set aside bcoz extremism is on a basis of a totally different thought and in many cases pathology and deviance from the norms.

convince you of my arrogance and ignorance

humility and being modest are different things. all in all i was once told by someone on gs that in terms of arrogance i matched u.anyways good debate.