Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
Where am I suggesting it is OK for a family man to have his own collection? I'm saying those guys who watch porn they will watch it regardless of what the wifey has to say. Danda and divorce are not the only two ways to get things done.
Sharam o hayaa is not taught to adults, it comes voluntarily.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
The ones who are into porn and want to watch it with their wife are posessed by devil! Its unislamic, un-humane and evil to watch porn! Personaly, i wouldnt marry a girl who think its ok to watch porn with her husband. Time for you to disconnect your internet / cable porn channels for your husband!
Remember, one evil thing leads to another…
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
**the original thread was how wud women react and now it has changed to a moral/religious debate as always so i will post my thoughts on the latter.
1]*"The eyes also commit *Zina, and their Zina is the lustful look." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
2]But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5: 2728-bible)
3]**final word -we all know Allah orders us to lower our gaze.
where is the fine line that separates looking at a woman lustfully wen ur out for shopping or watch porn .zina of eyes is an established fact for muslims.
salman khan goes around near naked for the pleasure of the female fans who include many on gs too.some say he is hot,others say their fiance is hot, can u honestly deny that u dont have sexual feelings for 'manly hunks' in everyday lives.
biologically speaking men r sexually stimulated by visual stimuli and watch porn while women read romantic novels.for women its sensual for men it needs to b raw n sexual.
players among us know very well women r turned on thru subtle n romantic moves.
i wud hesitatingly conclude that the society in which we r living most of us commit that 'zinna of the eyes' on a weekly basis atleast[excluding frigid women n men]
**
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
Then what would you suggest should be a solution?
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
Basically the answer to this post is that most desi women hate the idea. Now, if a man was caught doing it, what are the chances a wife would divorce him ?
I think internet porn is more accessible than watching movies but the fact still remians men do it, whether its haram or not..they still do it.
Men are visual creatures and no matter how intimate their relationship with their wife...the curiosity for most is always pretty much there. Whether they admit it openly or not, thats a different thing all together.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
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I think women should work on earning respect instead of worrying about who watches what
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So it seems, once again, if a husband is watching porn, his wife apparently hasn't earned enough respect. She should work on earning respect. The hubby? Well, it's not his fault. . she obviously needs to be a better wife and earn more respect. . .
LOL. That's just great. :)
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
Hubby: Begum, tumhay maaloom hay shauher kaa kiya rutba hona chaahyay…you should learn to respect me.
Wifey: Jee huzoor-e-wala… mujh sai agar koi ghalati ho jaaye tau maaf ker deiN…mai aainda ehtiyaat bertoongi. Waisay, aaj shaam kau aap ki kiya masroofiyat hay?
Hubby: I will be watching this new movie called ,“Nurses gone wild”
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
LOL. That's just great. :)
Yeah that is exactly how I took Fayz's comment as. I think it seems by this comment, that he condones watching porn and is basically telling women to accept the fact that its okay for men to do so.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
**@ funguy ,solaroceans
this is exactly wat anti-islam christians,mullahs who exploit religion etc do, ie focus on one sentence from the quran and ignore the context n background.
originally posted by fayz
**
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Don't dictate your husband and live in denial, let him be the one to say No to it.
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**not bcoz he is scared of his wife but for respect n love that this act of his displeases her.
**
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lowering your gaze comes from within and out of respect.
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can someone or will someone deny this?
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I think women should work on earning respect instead of worrying about who watches what.
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lets come to this in the end.n examine it after understanding the kind of person he is.
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Danda and divorce are not the only two ways to get things done.
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these two things women make an issue of most n rightly so,he is suggesting something else.mutual respect for wishes.
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Sharam o hayaa is not taught to adults, it comes voluntarily.
[/quote]
**he used the word adults,means the nature with which one has grown up cant change.again stressing that modesty n purity of thought comes from within.Allah taufeeq day only then a person stops from the wrong path.
atleast try to think how he thinks**
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
That's actually true in many cases. Just because you are married to the person doesn't mean u have 'earned' respect as well. You will be surprised how respect for your parents, family and spouse can change one's lifestyle.
p.s Thanks for the effort Karakush...it will get through this time (I hope) :)
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
You're right Kara,
I'm just an abcd western girl
what do i know?
And fyi, you didn't even take into account that particular sentence. You left it out completely. I don't need to try to to think how he thinks. I have my own way of thinking so thanks but no thanks. I don't disagree with most of what you said : that modesty and purity of thought comes from within and only Allah (swt) stops one from the wrong path. . . but to suggest that women should just focus on earning respect and not worry about what their hubby is or is not watching is absolutely ridiculous. Last I checked, they are family.
Personally speaking, if i had to go through that, i'd talk to him once, twice, third time i'd raise hell and fourth time i'd leave because you know what, i deserve enough respect for him not to do that. It is between him and God yes, but like it or not, as his wife, i'm affected as well and no, i can't make him stop but I don't have to deal with it at all.
It's funny how many of you want to force girls into their homes and make them quit their jobs but when a guy watches porn, well that's between him and Allah (swt) and his wife shouldn't say a word to him.
Smells like hypocrisy to me.
Good job :)
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
Let me just say one thing, i havent really read the whole thread i think its not that informative but yeah anyways, a GREAT ability that was gifted to us as we evolved from primitive being (some ppl believe in this) or Allah distinguishes us from other animals by gifting us with one of the most important thing. That is REASON, the ability to think contructively. So yeah it doesnt matter whose thoght it it is, its more of a personal matter, as humans we all know the answer to it cuz we have the gift of reason we can analyze things. lets keep everything aside religion, marriage, whatever, just try and be reasonable. Just think if what we do and how we think makes us Higher Beings or does it put us even below our primitive states. Honestly i cant tell u wats right or what a girl shud be doing or wat a guy shud be doing. The deal is just think and make an effort to analyze as to whether What you are doing is actually a deed of someoen who has the gift of reason or a animalistic/primitive lustful instict fidning it hard to control disires. There is so much i will say but i know it wont help anyone changge how they think.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
And fyi, you didn't even take into account that particular sentence. You left it out completely.
i assumed it had become self explanatory ;the context i mean,i guess i assumed wrong.
[QUOTE]
I don't need to try to to think how he thinks. I have my own way of thinking so thanks but no thanks.
[/QUOTE]
if thats how things in society work ,fine.
[QUOTE]
Personally speaking, if i had to go through that, i'd talk to him once, twice, third time i'd raise hell and fourth time i'd leave because you know what, i deserve enough respect for him not to do that.
[/QUOTE]
exactly-that was fayz point.
[QUOTE]
as his wife, i'm affected as well and no, i can't make him stop but I don't have to deal with it at all.
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no argument here.of course family is affected.
[QUOTE]
It's funny how many of you want to force girls into their homes and make them quit their jobs
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you? me? men in general? who? the ones u came in contact to?
sorry to dissapoint u but both my fiance n sister work and frequently have to stay overnight at hospitals,where they mostly deal with men.but fine u keep assuming watever u want.
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but when a guy watches porn, well that's between him and Allah (swt) and his wife shouldn't say a word to him.
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again a baseless assumption.
nature of adults[men] was a separate issue from the issue of a wife telling him not to watch porn.plz dont merge them n twist to give it another meaning.
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Smells like hypocrisy to me.
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semlls like biasness to me based on assumptions abt me.
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Good job :)
[/QUOTE]
u didnt do bad urself.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
KK, please stop using Bold for every sentence. It loses its purpose and is heavyon the eyes. Thanks!
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
gher ko ser pe uthana aur apne husband se laraai kerna kisi bhi prblm ka solution nahi hai...gher ka mahol bhi kharab plus kisi bhi chez ko larai jhagra kerke rukwane se banda us chez ki teraf aur ziada attract hota hai...use apni zid bana leta hai...thats human nature.
i think ager mere sath kabhi aisa hua tu mein unse araam se baat kerongi...ager koi admi porn dekh raha hai iska matlab yeh nahi woh totally evil hai...uske ander achaai bilkul katam hogai hai...im sure aram se baat kerne se unko khud shermindagi mehsos hogi...next time woh banda jab aisa kere ga tu ander se usse khud guilty feel hoga...khud se koi cheez chorna aur zabrdasti koi chez churwane mein bhut farak hota hai
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
it is when the wife's sole purpose of keeping him away from porn is to keep him from sinning.
Adultry and watching porn are 2 different categories. yes both are sins..but there are different levels of sinning. Now i personally would prefer that my husband not watch porn. If he does watch it...what can i do about it? Make him not watch it?
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
its easy on my eyes and thats the way i post here most of the time.medically speaking bold writing is easier to read and causes less accomodation of the pupil.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
i agree^...but not all fathers/husbands are idiots. I'm sure some only watch it with the doors closed.
Ok so lets forget about watching it at home...what about watching it with his friends. Some guys are going to do it regardless....their wife can nag them about not watching it but they will find ways to watch it regardless.
Point being once again...no one can MAKE their husband give up porn if the guy doesnt want to.
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
You know what? why do i even bother?
You guys go ahead and enjoy watching your porn, behind closed doors or in front of your wives . . .and keep telling yourselves that it’s because your wife has not earned your respect . . . make her work harder 
I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this 
You guys should be lucky you don’t have to deal with me
Re: Pornography & Desi Thought
i think ager mere sath kabhi aisa hua tu mein unse araam se baat kerongi...ager koi admi porn dekh raha hai iska matlab yeh nahi woh totally evil hai...uske ander achaai bilkul katam hogai hai...im sure aram se baat kerne se unko khud shermindagi mehsos hogi...next time woh banda jab aisa kere ga tu ander se usse khud guilty feel hoga...khud se koi cheez chorna aur zabrdasti koi chez churwane mein bhut farak hota hai
**sensible answer.
i guess people who have faith in simple goodness of human beings do get good partners in life.
its unfortunate that people have a harsh outlook on life n the nature of human beings and the goodness in them.possibly due to their bad experiences.
both good men n women r out there, one look at the society at large doesnt mean each individual is corrupt.**