[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Seminole: *
It is totally illogical to support polygamy but not adoption. Your'e worried how an adopted child may be treated in comparison to a birth child, but have no qualms about how a man could possibly treat his wives differently? Surely adoption is a preferred act when compared to lfe on the streets or in an orphanage.
[/QUOTE]
your answers have already been given in the earlier threads.
try to find them.or start a new thread.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by rehman1: *
This has been answered several time. Refer to other answers in
this thread.
What If the couple conceive a baby after adopting a kid.
Will they be able to provide same comfort and love.
And the kid is always considered a namuhaaram.
[/QUOTE]
As i know Mohammad (SAW) had also an adopted son (munh bola beta) . i don't remember his name right now
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by rehman1: *
your answers have already been given in the earlier threads.
try to find them.or start a new thread.
[/QUOTE]
Thanks, but I wasn't really looking for any answers. I firmly believe God blesses those who take in, love and nuture a child that is not their own.
start a new thread and I will answer.
chkpit and semonela.
to put it simply, islam does not recognize relationships such as adopted son/daughter, assumed brothers/sisters etc.
while you may show love and respect to them by treating them 'like' your children/siblings, they do not 'become' your children or siblings.
many want a child to continue their lineage, many want an heir, two things that you cannot accomplish by adoption, islamically speaking.
islam, however, is all for being nice to others, helping the orphans etc. but the assumed brother, adopted son et al don't fit well into the islamic model of relationships and estate matters.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by chit_khopdi: *
As i know Mohammad (SAW) had also an adopted son (munh bola beta) . i don't remember his name right now
[/QUOTE]
Zaid ibn Haritha
thanks all for ur replies…jazakallah
The Rainmaker - yes you’re spot on brother abt ur post regarding adoption
fair&balance - thats good to hear
Seminole - God is All Knowing All Wise. I can present a few points to answer your query but I think we can’t decide what’s logical and what’s not, we’re not capable of that. We Muslims don’t believe in trying to justify God’s orders. Islam means SUBMISSION to the will of Allah swt. no questions. just faith and obedience. 
chit-khopdi, welcome to GS and thanks for sharing that story…
i think they are being unjust with that lady…clearly…
i dont think is a common practice in our society…i have also seen widowed women getting married to their devar’s and they are given the proper ohda of a wife…
Mehnaz…a marriage is not just abt the husband and wife…there’s the family of the guy, they have expectations from the marriage, and besides who doesn’t want children? if there’s some problem and they can’t have children coz of the lady, i wouldn’t blame the guy in that case if he remarries, though my heart does go out to his wife…i infact know of cases where the husband did not want to bring another wife for this reason, but the wife gave the ultimate sacrifice and herself got a second wife for the guy…now that’s what i call having a BIG heart 
how many women can do that?
Spock bro interesting point 
Nadz 
yaar u r totally right…some excellent points u have brought up there…
sokan means the other wife…so both the wives of one dude r sokans of each other…
pakiBarbie i’ve heard of such contracts but i dont think u can tie things like this down to contracts…whatdya think?
welcome to GS btw
There is another very important social reason why polygamy is allowed in Islam. During the wars it’s mostly men between of ages 17 to 45 years who take an active part and likely to get killed. This upsets the natural balance of gender ratio in that generation. So there are more women of marriageable age than men, with war widows thrown in to upset drastically the gender ratio further.
That’s the reason the earlier Muslims used to marry these war-widows or those ‘surplus’ spinsters to absorb them into the society. The war widow who already had children of their own from the previous marriage had a sort of comfort that they and their children will be looked after. The spinsters who got married as second wives had their own children and felt 'well fitted into the society' and could look forward positively to life than lonely spinsterhood.
During the first and second World Wars Europe had a lot of ‘surplus spinsters and war-widows’ who were chasing the already married men which destroyed a lot of marriages, resulting later the institution of marriage has been literally been wiped out and reign of promiscuity is rule of the day.
It’s better to be a second wife with all the hung ups than to be a spinster all the life. ***** *
^
jazakallah
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Ibn Sadique: *
During the first and second World Wars Europe had a lot of ‘surplus spinsters and war-widows’ who were chasing the already married men which destroyed a lot of marriages, resulting later the institution of marriage has been literally been wiped out and reign of promiscuity is rule of the day.
It’s better to be a second wife with all the hung ups than to be a spinster all the life. *****
[/QUOTE]
Tell me that you are kidding..right? You disregard for female capabilities is astounding.*
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Seminole: *
It is totally illogical to support polygamy but not adoption. Your'e worried how an adopted child may be treated in comparison to a birth child, but have no qualms about how a man could possibly treat his wives differently? Surely adoption is a preferred act when compared to lfe on the streets or in an orphanage.
[/QUOTE]
Good point!
Illogical indeed.
I have never understood this whole polygamy concept, and probably never will :)
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Ibn Sadique: *
It’s better to be a second wife with all the hung ups than to be a spinster all the life. ****
[/QUOTE]
I would rather be a spinster.*
A lot of pople are justifying a man;s second marriage if the wife cannot bear a child. How many people would advocate a divorce leading to a second marraige for a woman if the man was incapable??? It would be considered sinful for a woman to even think in such terms and all of a sudden adoption would be a wonderful prospect of fulfilling their desire of having children. Why not the other way around?
^
good point FF. These laws apply only in case of a woman's shortcomings. If a man is bloody incompetent in any way, the woman is expected to stick by him no matter what.. pathetic I tell u..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
A lot of pople are justifying a man;s second marriage if the wife cannot bear a child. How many people would advocate a divorce leading to a second marraige for a woman if the man was incapable???
[/QUOTE]
Not just that, but how many men would willingly become second, third or fourth husbands if there was a problem with the first husband? How many families would advocate the wife taking on a second husband all for family honour and wanting a child of their own? This isn't an option though. Oh well.
I don't think any woman would want to have multiple husbands herself. Woman are intrinsically monogamous. This desire for heirs and lineage to carry on are really excuses. When women can kill their desires in the case of an imcompetent man why can't the men do the same? Adoption should be the first choice.
I know FF, I completely agree with you.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
A lot of pople are justifying a man;s second marriage if the wife cannot bear a child. How many people would advocate a divorce leading to a second marraige for a woman if the man was incapable??? It would be considered sinful for a woman to even think in such terms and all of a sudden adoption would be a wonderful prospect of fulfilling their desire of having children. Why not the other way around?
[/QUOTE]
FF its all about the couple and how much understanding they have I guess. In a marriage I believe you care about the other person's happiness more than your own and you possess a spirit of sacrifice for the other person. For the guy its tougher because he also needs to care about his family's expectations.
Allah o Alim, maybe its easy for me to say this as I'm not in that situation, but I think its ultimately about caring and wanting to see the other person happy and if one truly loves the other person they sacrifice their own personal happiness.
^ wow..women don't care about the family's expectations? You guys make women look like vassals or insignificant. AS if they are non-existent entities and have no mind or ability of their own. Is it little wonder that women in muslim societies are some of the most uneducated, non-contributing segments of the society?