[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
women in muslim societies are some of the most uneducated, non-contributing segments of the society?
[/QUOTE]
That's not true :) In fact, very very far from the truth. Women in Muslim societies have contributed as mothers, sisters, daughters wives at the family level. And as professionals in the professional world. Since the very advent of Islam.
No matter how we personally feel towards polygamy, it has been allowed by Allah :swt: and that can never change.
If a man wants to marry more than one, than that is his choice, the only condition is he must be able to deal justly between them. If he mistreats his wives than he will have to answer to Allah :swt:.
A man with two wives is a better situation than a man with one wife and one mistress.
And anyway women only outnumber men by a small amount, so only a few can in theory practice polygamy. Most of us will probably never be in a polygamous relationship, unless of course men start dropping dead all of a sudden.
Irem, that is not very different from any other culture. If 50% of the society is not allowed to fulfill their career ambitions, even in cultures/religions such as India/Hindus there is this prevailing thought of a woman's place in the house. We have two sets of rules for boys and girls, two sets of career paths for boys and girls..this is wrong and whether it is ability to have four wives or a man feeling inadequate if his wife works..it is the same undertone of repressive and anachronisti thought.
I agree Matty!
Irem I think women in our culture are conditioned to put their husbands, families’ before themselves. So if a woman found out her husband couldn’t help her reproduce she would consider it her fortune to compromise and keep living wit him for the sake of his and the familys honour. Jeez what would the PEOPLE say if she asked for a divorce to marry someone else for kids??? 
Why doesn’t this rule of loving and caring and seeing the other person happy apply to the men of our society??? Don’t they know that their remarrying and getting intimate with another woman, practically replacing the first wife will hurt the feelings of the first wife? Maybe they should sacrifice their happiness and desire for biological children to keep their wives happy! No? Isn’t looking for a second wife for your husband such a sorry and painful situation? They know they will get replaced anyway and probably end up getting a divorce with little to no chances of getting married again with that label of infertility across their foreheads so why not save some grace and compromise?
Your comment about it being tougher for guys because they also need to care about their family’s expectations…is no excuse really. Women have desires too and their families have expectations too. ALl UNDERSTANDING can just go to hell when the men’s desires are at stake!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
Irem, that is not very different from any other culture. If 50% of the society is not allowed to fulfill their career ambitions, even in cultures/religions such as India/Hindus there is this prevailing thought of a woman's place in the house. We have two sets of rules for boys and girls, two sets of career paths for boys and girls..this is wrong and whether it is ability to have four wives or a man feeling inadequate if his wife works..it is the same undertone of repressive and anachronisti thought.
[/QUOTE]
Matsui, no offence, but I think your information about Pakistan/ Pakistanis thinking is inaccurate and based on stereotypes. Have you ever been to Pakistan? Different cities and villages in Pakistan? Interacted with a wide range of Pakistanis? The realities are very different from your perception. You need to visit Pakistan yourself and see the contribution women are making to society here at each and every level, and this trend is only increasing. Yes there are some families where women are oppressed, but that's a very small minority.
Who says a woman cant divorce her husband if he cant have children?
Islamically she can even ask for divorce if hes not satisfying her sexually.
Just cause it may be part of pakistani culture doesnt mean its islamic.
Ire, no offense but I do not think the pakistani society is somekind of model of women's rights, much like India. There are women who work in all countries, my point is whether they are alloted the same opportunities as men as per their cultural/religious norms.
You went to Stanford right? Did you think about what you could be doing with your life if you weren't expected to marry someone your family wanted, follow a profession that you could excel at, interview without having your father present etc..
FF I think M just said what I was going to say that its not disallowed in Islam :) Its the woman's choice and if she wants to go for it, she should, its not religiously prohibited.
It is allowed but with a lot of intricate conditions which must be fulfilled. I haven't seen a single man who kept more than one wife and was able to treat both equally. It would take an exceptional man to do justice with more than one wife.
Allah allowed us to eat forbidden things in certain conditions too. Just like eating them without meeting the requirements is a sin similarly indulging in polygamyt without meeting its requirements its also a sin. You don't see people eating and religiously justifying it if they eat forbidden food do you? Then why is this permission of polygamy used to justify men's superficial motives?
You yourself said that if a woman truly cares for her partner she would sacrficie her own happiness and let him remarry for kids...who made it virtually impossible for woman to attain their rights? Who put the man's happiness ahead of the womans? It's easy to say that Islam allows women to file divorce in such and such case but it is the apparently religious minded people of our countries that make life a living hell for the women if they do!
FF, I think divorce in itself is a very abhorred act and should be avoided at all costs, but I am not one of those people to blame the woman blindly for the divorce. Not at all. Never. Thats unfair. For some women, taking divorce becomes inevitable. You could see a thread I opened in lifestyles about this in fact.
http://www.gupistan.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=144970