Re: Please help me.
lol@sharmaaingly!!! 
RV, is there more to the story that i missed?..i admit i do NOT read long posts! 
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I dunno, Kkf...you tell me....you seemed to have read more between the lines than lil' Newbee.
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i didn’t read between the lines! 
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I had no idea that he wanted to get laid.. as that's not even an option.. and I doubt anyone would marry just to get laid. :s
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Girl, stay with your fiance. PERIOD.
Re: Please help me.
a girl with multiple options - pcg posts and blogs had me convinced you are but a mere mythical critter, a cousin of the unicorn. glad to meet you pal. and marry the ex. you will have a long life of fights and you can post about it here and we'll give you lots of advice.
Re: Please help me.
I think you should stop communicating with your ex. He was your past and should remain so. Please stay committed to your fiance as you have spent happy 6 years with him.
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Why not talk to your mom about this?
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Newbie: “Mom, my ex boyfriend contacted me and wants to marry me.”
Mom: Reeling from the shock that an ex even existed manages to sputter, “What does this ex shex do, beta?”
Newbie: “Nothing. But he has found the meaning of life since he met me. He wants to look for a job.”
Mom: “Oh, so he’s unemployed? Gee that’s a tough one, Newbie puttar.” 
It might not even get that far. Mom might tell her to avoid ex as wedding is around the corner…and fear of talk/gossip.
Re: Please help me.
In addition to what everyone has said, another factor you should take into consideration is that your ex isn't particularly clever (no offense). He wants to propose to you (and break up your current relationship) yet has no job and no plan for the future? You stated that he wants to/plans to find a job. Well, that is easier said than done and unfortunately, one cannot live off of "searching" for a job. It sounds as if he just wants to propose and that's as far as he's gotten (as in he hasn't thought about what he's going to do after that point). That type of thinking is terribly unrealistic, irresponsible, and frankly, quite stupid, which are not desirable qualities in a husband.
You should stop speaking to your ex. You are engaged and seem quite happy with your fiance and have no intention of leaving him (rightly so), so speaking to your ex is rather pointless and only causes you anxiety.
Please help me.
Your fiancé gets busy in his studies and work and you go off running to an ex? You are not ready to get married, period. Think hard before you go odd making a disastrous decision and ruining 3 people's lives including your own.
How old are you?!
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my life has been very messy past few months, I wrote regarding it a long time back when my fiancé had alcohol .. thankfully the issue is resolved and he will not ddrink and it has not been repeated. however during my tough times when I was upset with my fiancé my ex boyfriend who I was friends with contacted me.. I discussed the issue with him and we spoke on text only for a few days... I felt it was wrong to speak to him on texts even so I told him its goodbye and never contact again.. and I moved on.. my issues resolved and we were very happy.. and then my ex contacted me again and told me that we can just talk as friends.. as our dating period was of barely 7 months and consisted of us fighting. we were always better friends .. I also don't have many friends so we spoke on texts occasionally on simple daily life matters.. anyway.. last week a mutual friend was over and I went to meet her where he came for a little while.. we were totally causal and then went home.. ever since then he has started acting crazy. he wants to propose to me now ( im getting married in few months ) he told me that he cant move on and he has not moved on in 6 years.. he has not liked any girl or gotten serious.. and I should think over it.. I really cared for him and what he said took me in deep shock as I was not expecting this.. his bhabhi also spoke to me regarding this and told me that shes never seen him this serious in life he wants to look for a job and propose to u.. and she also told me that ill never forget him because hes a part of my past. all this really made me upset as my ive been with my fiancé for almost 6 years now MA and how can I live with breaking my fiancés heart? a man who has always stood beside me... ive been extremely upset and have been crying and praying to Allah for guidance. saying bye to my ex bothers me a tiny bit. (not too much) but somehow I feel ill miss him. kindly advise me what to do.. as few friends have told me that I only spoke to my ex due to fear of getting married.. as I probably am not ready to get married.. thank you.. please refrain from judging me.. you don't know my journey and difficulties I have endured. this is just a tiny summary. thankyou.
Seriously how old are you? Looks like to me another south asian hit drama serial. A damsel in distress... not knowing what to do!
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I had no idea that he wanted to get laid.. as that's not even an option.. and I doubt anyone would marry just to get laid. :s
He obviously does not want to get married.... just one time and then he'll move on. Where he was during these 6 years and why he didn't send his Bhabhi to ask for rishta/marriage or even sort out the issues between you two? 6 years is a long time and also he knows that you are emotional and immature!
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I completely agree with RV. Op, get hold of your emotions, you don't want to hurt anyone, cant think of leaving your fiance, you mention he drunk once and then stopped, why are you even re-calling all this back if you are not evaluating your entire relationship with your fiance. & no i am not judging you...i am shocked to read your story !
Your confused and really not ready to get married, its a life long commitment. If you were, period, you wont be cheating your fiance, yes i call it cheating. Talking to your ex without your fiance knowing moreover meeting him be it only for 5 mins, it isn't justifiable.
Dont you have self-respect, how can you compromise with it? talking to his bhabhi..i mean was she dead when you guys broke up, just because his devar all of sudden realised that he isn't over you as yet and cant think of life with out you - crap ! utter crap !! she is trying to put "his" kind of "sense" into you re-think the realtionship you share with your fiance.
Don't do that to yourself, not so long ago i was in similar situation you can say. But i was single and my ex was married but wanted to get back with the support of his mother by divorcing his wife. & posted my story here & few of the gser's really gave me good input. I never looked back, too many red flags with a life full of hurdles. It just wasn't worth it. you need details, check my post history. Now after an year, i am nikkafied and very happy ma sha Allah se
Cut all kind of contact's with your ex. & get yourself busy in planning your future/wedding with your fiance. Sorry if you feel i was intruding much in giving advise, Its just i dont want you to do the mistake which i kept myself away from cuz at the end with time, you will realise what you did was right & better for you. Good luck !!
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newbee13, Who are you more attracted to?
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The talk about always missing him because he's your past is BS. That's what I thought too when I broke up with my ex. Doesn't work that way. When you have a loving partner, you don't miss your past. So tell his bhabi that life isn't a dramatic bollywood movie. Or maybe it is, the kind that Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was. Remember when Ashwarya actually falls for her husband and doesn't want to go back to Salman? Yes, that's the only bollywood ending I would take seriously. Maybe.
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Bollywood stupidity!
Re: Please help me.
In addition to what everyone has said, another factor you should take into consideration is that your ex isn't particularly clever (no offense). He wants to propose to you (and break up your current relationship) yet has no job and no plan for the future? You stated that he wants to/plans to find a job. Well, that is easier said than done and unfortunately, one cannot live off of "searching" for a job. It sounds as if he just wants to propose and that's as far as he's gotten (as in he hasn't thought about what he's going to do after that point). That type of thinking is terribly unrealistic, irresponsible, and frankly, quite stupid, which are not desirable qualities in a husband.
You should stop speaking to your ex. You are engaged and seem quite happy with your fiance and have no intention of leaving him (rightly so), so speaking to your ex is rather pointless and only causes you anxiety.
I believe he was getting impulsive and since we had been in touch he convinced himself that he loves me and couldn't live without. I know what love feels like, if he did love.. he would have atleast finished his bachelors and started a job.. but then again I feel maybe hes just too stupid to know what to do. Its easier to blame others in life.. no? she did this she did this..
Last night I stopped talking to him, once and for all. I do feel tiny bit bad and cried about it.. but im glad I don't have the guilt in me anymore. Being around him was just making me very tensed and making me doubt every thing.
Re: Please help me.
I completely agree with RV. Op, get hold of your emotions, you don't want to hurt anyone, cant think of leaving your fiance, you mention he drunk once and then stopped, why are you even re-calling all this back if you are not evaluating your entire relationship with your fiance. & no i am not judging you...i am shocked to read your story ! Your confused and really not ready to get married, its a life long commitment. If you were, period, you wont be cheating your fiance, yes i call it cheating. Talking to your ex without your fiance knowing moreover meeting him be it only for 5 mins, it isn't justifiable.
Dont you have self-respect, how can you compromise with it? talking to his bhabhi..i mean was she dead when you guys broke up, just because his devar all of sudden realised that he isn't over you as yet and cant think of life with out you - crap ! utter crap !! she is trying to put "his" kind of "sense" into you re-think the realtionship you share with your fiance.
Don't do that to yourself, not so long ago i was in similar situation you can say. But i was single and my ex was married but wanted to get back with the support of his mother by divorcing his wife. & posted my story here & few of the gser's really gave me good input. I never looked back, too many red flags with a life full of hurdles. It just wasn't worth it. you need details, check my post history. Now after an year, i am nikkafied and very happy ma sha Allah se
Cut all kind of contact's with your ex. & get yourself busy in planning your future/wedding with your fiance. Sorry if you feel i was intruding much in giving advise, Its just i dont want you to do the mistake which i kept myself away from cuz at the end with time, you will realise what you did was right & better for you. Good luck !!
I please don't say the 'C' word. I know what ive done comes under that... but sometimes when you're in a situation you do not realize. I did not cross any limit with my ex. but yes you are right.. I find too many things in life are not justifiable.. however they do teach us great lessons..
I did not start the talk with bhabhi. she messaged me and spoke regarding normal things a few times,.. then a month back she said shes so glad we broke up.. and then all of a sudden she turned 360* and told me hes serious and blah. she also started her own story that I should not tell anyone but she liked someone and he came back to her before her nikkah and she regrets it every day that she didn't go back to him..
im so glad you are happy and you found the right person :) I have left my ex for good and I hope that it is the best decision.. I have left everything in Allahs hands. thankyou so much
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newbee13, Who are you more attracted to?
attracted? physically? ive barely ever met my ex.. I met him a week back after 6 years.. so I think the feeling with my ex was more.. new new.