Re: please help me!
I'm so confused and disturbed! It's like im in disturbia! lol
Guys,what if this girl is for real? What if! Even if there is a little bit of a chance that she is real?
Anyhow, IF she is real and all this is happening to her, again, I'm truly sorry and I hope Allah helps you Inshallah.
DA, run run and run. If he has hit you, then RUN and don't look back. Physical abuse is just not exceptable regardless of situation. It will only get worse.
I understand that you've been with him for 6 years, but he's a completely different person now. I've heard your type of stories many times. Guy and Girl date in Pakistan, guy is madly in love etc etc then after shadi he turns evil, and usually the MIL is behind it all! The reason why I beleive this point, is people in Pakistan, don't really "date" like people aboard. People raised aboard, go on several dates, before even starting to be a couple. We have stages in our relationships, we spend days if not hours together, we take vacations together etc etc etc. I'm talking about a regular desi couple here, (well perhaps not the religious type,but regular type, NO OFFENSE) I guess, i'm talking about myself and my friends. But My husband is from Pakistan and his friends (guys and girls both) don't really date like "us". They guy and girl usually meet in secret or act as if they are "friends" infront of their mutual friends and maimum meet like twice a week for a little time. The guy is all sweet and the girl is all cute, and they spend that entire time being in "love". Hence they don't face "real life" i.e Money, family, friends etc issues. Their in the "honeymoon" stage until getting married. Once these couples get married, $hit hits the fan, and they don't know how to deal with issues.
for example, while dating he didn't mind his driver dropping her home, but now he has a problem wasting his CNG.
It always amazes me how certain couples don't know everything about each other after being together for 2+ years.
I understand explosives fights, we all have those once in a while and at times they keep your relationship going, but cursing and abuse are not acceptable. Run DA RUN.
I shouldn't be saying this, but Ive got a friend who Ive known since I was born, we were always together, lived close by, same classes, same friends etc etc. Well she got married, to a really awesome guy Mashallah, rich, cute and only son, awesome job in England. etc etc like honestly ladies he was perfect in every manner of speaking, one of those rishtaas your parents dream off. And to top it all off, the fathers were university buddies, but it was a semi love marraige, they met dated for a year then got nikkahfied, then ruksati etc so with a 3 year time period. You won't beleive the ending, you'll laugh. The girl left the guy, because she did not want to CLEAN the bathroom, so the guy hired a maid. Then she didn't want to IRON the clothes, so she ran away :) PREGNANT, the guy went after her, begging and crying and she is like give me in writing that I will NEVER cook desi food, iron clothes etc.. (such petty things, YES I KNOW) It's unbelievable. I wanna punch her and slap her, and the funny thing is her parents support her! Insane!
Then there are girls who get married and are abused by their husbands and bear it cause they don't want the stigma of divorce, or they are tortured so badly that they refuse to re-marry again. It is just sad and it scares me, I don't know what I would do if were in their place, I just pray that Allah help everyone and give all us women (who are sensible, not the running away cause she doesn't wanna do the dishes type) patience and strength and a good kismat and awesome husbands and and and good in laws- Inshallah.
So for your disturbed, you are supposed to compromise for your husband (not your MIL) but you have to keep your MIL happy, so your husband is happy. MIL HAPPY=Husband happy. When youget married, you have to compromise etc etc BUT it doesn't mean that they torture you or are unreasonable. It is not the 1970's where MIL can treat you like a slave. No offense if they are doing such thing, they seem very uneducated and pathetic, or just plain jahil people.
She is a girl and yes she need to adapt to her new home, but she doesn't need to wake up early cause her MIL is up, and her MIL should be a little accommodating as well. Its a two way road, DA should adapt to her new home, but her in laws should be considerate as well. She is not a slave, and getting a glass of water is not a big deal, but making DA run around the house constantly to do stuff is kind of irritating. He can get his butt of the couch and get his cell phone him self, once in a while. She is not his slave, and yes it is a Sawaab to get someone a glass of water, but the other person should not treat you like a slave, in fact- My parents would slap me if i asked our servant to get me water! My parents would ask me to get them water or juice or whatever, or their cell phone, but never our servant. My parents have taught me to treat help with respect. So I kind of feel bad that she is being treated like a slave.
I think I wrote way to much, sorry guys. Oh one more story- This girl married a guy, who turned out to be gay! No kidding, not just GAY, like a cross dressing gay guy, who goes to Besharam on Friday nights and is happy that day since (you know what) or goes to Union station a lot! Imagine your husband dressing up in your clothes, doing mujra for you! WOW WOW WOW
and agree to a certain extent
