me 2222222222!!
Hmmm well i'm here with more tears.kia likhun mujhay kuch samajh nahi aaraha hai.I told everything to my mother and she is saying wait for the best and good time and do compromise but mainay ye sab expect nahi kia tha.kitni worse hugayi hai meri situation.SIL never talks to me and MIL also ignoring me.Husband mujhay ghar mai akela choor kar chalay jatay hain and jab ghar aatay hain tab shout kartay hain.sab kuch bohot ajeeb ha.Dil chahta hai k is ghar say kahin dooor bhaag jaon jahan per mujhay ye sab khayal bhi na aayen. jo problem ab meray saath hai wo yahan per likhna shayad feasible nahi but the problem is about intercourse.He wants k dubai janay say pehlay pehlay mai concieve karlon takay mai hamesha baby k saath pakistan mai rahun and wo wahan job kar k money send kartay rahain .Apni is khawaish ki wajah say wo mujh per intercourse k liye zabardasti tak kartay hain even mai ready na bhi hun .Itna shadeed gussa karnay k baad kis tarah say karun mai ye sab and now he is saying k agar tum mujhay intercourse nahi karnay dougi to tum ko tumhari mother k ghar cooor kar aajaonga..main yahan bohot akeli hun.Bohot dil ghabrata hai mera is ghar mai.room mai bethay bethay roti rehti hun and koi poochnay wala nahi ha .Husband kehtay hain k tum dramay karti ho and tum say zyada buri larki is duniya mai nahi ha.
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WOW. tum say buri iss duniya mein koi nahi hai ... pehlay nahi nazar aya usko!!!
he just wants you to become a free servant for his family. you are responsible for everything yourself girl!
like everyone has said it a million times!!!! you knew EVERYTHING and still went ahead with it ... and ye kehna beqar hai k tum ye sab expect nahi ker rahi thi ...
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Like every1 said before you knew what they were like and still you married
into their house.
All you can do now is either talk it out with your husband and if he doesnt listen to you
go to your mother's house, atleast you wont be forced to sleep with him again
and then once at your mother's get your parents to sit him and his parents down and set
some rules, thats the only way your gonna get out of this mess.
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^ i agree and try and take every precaution u can in order not to get pregnant because once that happens he will have u in the position he wants and u will be trapped forever
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Just leave and go back to your mothers...
Or stay and put up with everything they throw at u. U know what will happen if you stay, yes, you will stay in Pakistan in his mother's house, baby or no baby. U will never go to Dubai with him. U will be a slave. But that's your call, your mums house or his mums house.
In my opinion the more your family stands up to his, don't take any nonsense from them, the better it will be for u.
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Just leave and go back to your mothers...
Or stay and put up with everything they throw at u. U know what will happen if you stay, yes, you will stay in Pakistan in his mother's house, baby or no baby. U will never go to Dubai with him. U will be a slave. But that's your call, your mums house or his mums house.
In my opinion the more your family stands up to his, don't take any nonsense from them, the better it will be for u.
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Don't get pregnant. He only wants you to get pregnant so you won't ever be able to leave. If you have a baby, there will be no escape for you.
I think you have to go back to your mum's. Sooner or later you will be glad that you did, and feel a lot more confident in your self.
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back off divorce squad. the problem here is different
angel, first you stay in the room all day as you said, while you thinking no one care about you, other people thinking you dont want to mix up with them and you are so rude and stay in the room like they are not worth talking to. so kindly make yourself friendly as possible.
the other issue about your husband, by denying right at that time of intimacy, you are making him hate you, men doesn't take this very easy and it hurts them mentally if their wife try to avoid him, shouting stress, anger is result of it. so you making situation worst, there are other ways not to conceive. their are other ways to make him on your side, he may be pressurised to earn more and move somewhere else, you need to discuss slowly with him how you want to live you life in the future, getting pregnant is mostly expected in Pakistani families, but while whatever others say, you both decide when to decide, no body has to tell everyone the details to anyone.
when i got married my mother wanted to have grandchildren asap, even my wife was ok with it, i wasnt so we decide between us, wife did get queries from my mum, i asked her listen and thats it. she did get upset sometime but i told her we we know between us, she doesnt know or has to know, so bear with it. once she done that she was fine.
we did have share of initial post wedding pressure from all around us, both of you have to handle it as this is new situation for everyone around you as well.
with bit of understanding and love, you will be more closer to your husband. with resentment and hate you will make him worst. do whatever in your part to make things simple for him and yourself too.
I am not condoning his attitude, he looks pressurised from all sides too. this is taking toll on him too. so he is also not handling it very well. support him emotionally and morally. it will have good effect on him. at least he is not be pressurised from one side.
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Disturb: Leave him
bibi room main beth ker roonay dhoonay say kuch haasil nahi ho ga... kuch haath paooN hilao, bahir niklo aur aapnay aap ko support kernay ki soochoo....maa baap kay ghar waapis jaanay ki mut soochoo woh aakhir kab tak tumhay support kernay gay aur unnkay baad tumhara kya ho ga? yeh soochoo .....
agar do chaar maheenay roonaydhoonay kay baad tum yeh samjhti ho kay tumhaaray halaat yah phir tumhaara husband aur inlaws maujazatunn theek ho jayain gay tou phir theek hai, Umeed pay duniya qaeem hai... warna dua kay saath tumhay aab dawwa bhi kerni paray gii....
eik baat yaad rakho tum aapnay aapko jitna kamzoor banao gii duniya tumhay utna hi payrooN talay kuucchlay gii.... tumhay sirf himmat ki zaroorat hai, tum inn booray halaat ka moqabala ker sakti ho...sirf himmat kero..
....
Re: please help me!
Disturb: I went through some of your previous threads. Sorry to say but I feel like you dug a hole for yourself. You knew what you were getting yourself into. Thora soch lia hota dil se nahin dimagh se kaam lia hota to aaj yahan aakar yeh na likh rahein hotein. You knew he works abroad, wahan hi shaks rehta hai, kia 6 years main aapko zara bhi uska nahin pata chala kisi chise ka? Thori kaam akal walon ko bhi kuch andaza ho jata hai. Aise lagta hai jaise aap ne khud se dushmani ki hai. Ab wahan hi rehna paray ga. You have to take the first step, try being nice to his family. Koi response na ayai to accept kerlain keh bas agay yehi hona hai. Aapke husband chalay jayain ge aap Pakistan mainreh ghar poray khandan ki khidmat karna aur kia chahyea? Thora sabar ker letein, pyar vyar is nothing. Kia hasil howa aapko? stress stress and more stress from the looks of it.
You have a few options, you need to take the pick. Get a job, stay there and let things be the way they are ( not really recommended)or leave him.
Aur haan us shaks ko plz keh dena keh apne 5000 pass rakhe ( if you decide to work). I'm sorry but is he for real?
back off divorce squad. the problem here is different
angel, first you stay in the room all day as you said, while you thinking no one care about you, other people thinking you dont want to mix up with them and you are so rude and stay in the room like they are not worth talking to. so kindly make yourself friendly as possible.
the other issue about your husband, by denying right at that time of intimacy, you are making him hate you, men doesn't take this very easy and it hurts them mentally if their wife try to avoid him, shouting stress, anger is result of it. so you making situation worst, there are other ways not to conceive. their are other ways to make him on your side, he may be pressurised to earn more and move somewhere else, you need to discuss slowly with him how you want to live you life in the future, getting pregnant is mostly expected in Pakistani families, but while whatever others say, you both decide when to decide, no body has to tell everyone the details to anyone.
when i got married my mother wanted to have grandchildren asap, even my wife was ok with it, i wasnt so we decide between us, wife did get queries from my mum, i asked her listen and thats it. she did get upset sometime but i told her we we know between us, she doesnt know or has to know, so bear with it. once she done that she was fine.
we did have share of initial post wedding pressure from all around us, both of you have to handle it as this is new situation for everyone around you as well.
with bit of understanding and love, you will be more closer to your husband. with resentment and hate you will make him worst. do whatever in your part to make things simple for him and yourself too.
I am not condoning his attitude, he looks pressurised from all sides too. this is taking toll on him too. so he is also not handling it very well. support him emotionally and morally. it will have good effect on him. at least he is not be pressurised from one side.
Refreshing new opinion, genuine from a mans perspective. Shak, u have some very valid points.
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^dunno about that.
shak - it was your mum wanting kids, so the two of you sorted it out. in this case her husband is forcing her. very different.
also, he wants to go to dubai and abandon her. would you do that?
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I feel like there's no point in writing an essay full of advice i gotta squeeze outa my brain coz shes not gona listen anyway
Today when my hubby waz shouting too much at me then his mother came in my room and said to me k akhir masla kia hai ? tum kia apnay husband ko khosh nahi rakhti and she said too many sweet things jus to show her carings towards me bcoz her son waz listening that how supportive is her mother.Aaj subha say my husband is nt talking to me and now itz night..He is fully ignoring me.
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u made a mistake that is done now but plz try to see that will teher is any chance of getting involve in them if not then leave this marrige its not worth it.if no one wants to understand u then leave them.
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kia karun main ????? Subha say his mother is involving me in house chores.main thak gayi hun yahan.sonay bhi laiti to his mother said k jao jakar door open karo koi aaya hai...ufffh kahan jaon main..now she is calling to her daughter for more tensions.har kaam karwanay k baad meray hubby k samnay kehti hain k tumhain to bhie kuch nahi aata.pehlay to unko meri engineering mai interest tha but ab meri education k baray mai 1 word bhi nahi kehtin.Mainay himmat karnay ki koshish start kardi hai and i m facing dese peoples now.Aagay Allah malik hai.subha say raat hugayi but i m alone. pata nahi kiun kari thie mainay ye shadi.
girl all i would say is atleast try gelling with the family and try to love your husban and become his paaoon kee beree, this way he will think thrice before leaving you for dubai. Yaar communication is the key, make sure you tell him how much you love him and try becoming a part of the family, 2 things will happen ppl will start accepting you and you will get out of depression (somewhat) as well. Baaqi Allah kee marzee.
Allah tumhein khush rakhay :k: AAMEEN.