Party crashers.

Hangout GupShup Cafe
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Not exactly or may be ? :hmmm:
In my city there was such a hue and cry about a family who questioned an invited guest about another guest they brought with them who were not invited to this mehndi party. That uninvited lady was asked to leave. :smack:
The punch line is that this guest who brought in the uninvited guest did not leave with the one they brought in with them and continued to enjoy the party. :bummer:

It created so much tension and bad atmosphere at the party. This family is very wealthy :mash2: but head of the household has somewhat of snooty behavior. May be that was the reason behind it . :hmmm:
But my question is would you take along with you someone to a party who were not invited to the party ?

On the flip side would you mind if a couple of people showed up who were not invited , would you be courageous enough to kick them out or tell the ones who brought them along with them ?

It is equivalent to party crashing if someone shows up at your party along with invited guest ?

P.S: This thread is not about funny side of party crashing or party crashers. I have opened another thread about fun side of party crashing in Cafe.

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Re: Party crashers.

More than likely if someone asks me if they can bring someone, I will not say no. However there are events where I really want invited people only. Maybe because of the comfort level of other invitees.

The biggest thing is courtesy, someone who I have invited should extend the courtesy so I have no surprises.

I may take someone with me in the type of situation when someone is visiting me and I dont want to leave them alone, and if it is like one or two people for a smaller gathering, If Ihave a whole tribe visiting me than I may just extend regrets to some party I was invited to.

If someone does show up with people at an event, and it is an issue with the other attendees comfort then I may ask the guy who brought teh tagalong to do soemthing about it, otherwise not a big deal.

Timepass- December 2012
Timepass- December 2012
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Re: Party crashers.

My sister once made me gate crash a party, but my brother in law wouldnt go unless he cleared it with the host first. The host was very chilled about it. I think it depends on how well you know the host. It would be better to ask first, especially if it is a house party (food shortages) but if its in a hall, then I guess I wouldnt really mind (she says as if she throws parties all the time!).

What comes to your mind?
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Re: Party crashers.

I think , under any circumstances its extrmely important to speak to the host , if you are intending to take anyone along .... otherwise both the host and who ever you have taken along with you , will feel out of place and uncomfortable ...

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I agree whole heartedly.
If at last minute someone shows at my place I will call the host and let them know that we cannot come, because , and then we will let them know that we have company. If they would accept the excuse and would not invite the extra person with us then we do not go.
If I have guests at my home and I am invited I would let the inviter that we have so and so at our home , therefore we will not be able to come , if our guest are also invited then we will take them along and go .
Never in my life, ever, anybody told us not to bring our guests, we were telling them about, though. These are our desi traditions and customs that somebody's guest is our guest too.

At my place I welcome anybody who shows up uninvited with anybody else and I make sure that they feel comfortable and welcomed once they are at my place.

Timepass- December 2012
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Re: Party crashers.

If i was in your place Mirch bhai, i will make sure that both the person who asked teh guest to leave and the person who continued the party despite his attendee was thrown out, never set foot in my home, nor do i ever go to their house. WHat a bunch of idiots.

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Spot on with this one liner Mirch ..

I can never understand the hosts who are rude enough to drive away anyone invited or uninvited from their place ....

I think there is a more courteous way of letting the people know who turn up uninvited , one can let them know after the party how you felt... so it wont get repeated again..

To recieve courtesy one has to give some too ....

Timepass- December 2012
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Re: Party crashers.

What would Muhammad (S.A) do?

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So how Why was that lady not invited? Was she on bad terms with the host (unknowingly to the “crasher”–it happens!) or simply unknown?

Either way, its such a cheap and chitty action both by the host and the guest! I’d say a few wordes for em but i think they’d be censored. I thnk.

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Oh this lady was new in town so she wanted to make some new friends I guess.

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Re: Party crashers.

Ah that really sucks. For both hosts to do that to her, i bet she'll regret ever moving to town :(

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Re: Party crashers.

whatever the host did or did not do, the guest who took her along should have asked the host first, and she herself should have inquired from this other guest if her attending would be okay by the host.

two wrongs dont make a right , but lets not just focus on the wrongs of the host, or the guest who invited her (for staying). the fact that the invited guest and the tagalong did not have the courtesy of asking and assuming its okay is wrong as well.

What Made You Sad Today?
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We desi have been proud of our hospitality for centuries. And we also count on hospitality of others too. There are situations when you will see guests on your door without being invited. They are welcomed whole heartedly.
One women would not make a dent in the arrangements of a house party. At least she did not deserve a kick in the face and being humiliated. She is new in town and needed friends.

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I'd have to disagree with this. I can understand the rudeness on part ofthe host if there were alot of children/families who tagged along, but if its' just one person, what difference would it make to the host, since it were a large partY?

Since the tagalong is new to the area and doesntk now anyone very well, why shouldn't she assume that it'd be okay? How should she have checked iwth the host of hte party if she didn't even know? It was totally wrong of the host to first not make sure it was okay adn then secondly to stay while letting the other person get kicked out. that's just rude and if this is the welcome that lady receives...they are in for a real treat!

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I have lost my faith on humanity. :hinna:

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Re: Party crashers.

what do u say about someone who talks about inviting you to something but then don't?!

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Re: Party crashers.

I wouldnt mind if a few people showed up with someone I invited...I would appreciate being asked first but its not a big deal to me. We have gatherings all the time and at least one person is usually one that is tagging along with someone else.

At a wedding I went to recently...I was invited to all three functions: mehndi, shaadi and valima. My whole family was busy that weekend except my youngest sister. I didnt want to leave her home alone so I called the people and asked if she could come. They said it was fine so I took her with. I wouldnt bring more then one person though...three is a crowd for me.

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Hospitality does not negate the need for courtesy.

I never supported the actions of the host, I do recall specifically calling it a 'wrong' you may eant to go back and refresh your memory, I did however say that te fact that the courtesy of asking was not extended was also wrong.

and as far as hospiality, it does not apply in all situations, if there is a ladies only event, and someone decides to bring her brother or husband along, yeah the hosts may deal with it, but would that be courteous of the person bringing a dude alone...hospitality or no hospitality.

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disagree with me on what? I already said the host was wrong.
te tagalong should not assume anything assuming makes and ass of u and the entire ming synasty..please be respectful of the dynasty they really offered a lot to human civilization.

now the tagalong did not have to check with teh host, but the tagalong had the responsibility to ask the guest who invited her it it was okay. if she did and this guest said it is not an issue then the tagalong as zero fault in it. if she did not ask this guest then she is also at fault.

the guest should have asked the host and not relied on assuming it was okay..because you know..assuming and the whole respect for the ming dynasty deal.

so

1) host wrong for booting her out (although host canh ave reasons we dont know, I know for a fact that there are certain people who I would have kicked out of my wedding had they shown up)

2) the tagalaong wrong for coming if she did not confirm with the guest-inviter that it was okay

3) the guest-inviter is wrong on multiple fronts, wrng for not asking the host, wrong for discarding the tagalong and if teh tagalong had asked the guest-inviter that it was okay..to tell her it was okay without confirming it.

lastly, it does make a difference at large parties too, I have personally seen hosts running around liek crazy because they had an event for 200 and 250 people show up and there are not enough chairs, not enough plates and not enough food. how one deals with teh frst 10 tagalngs is diff then when its tagalong #48. there are events with plated dinners and not everything is a free for all biryani and qorma buffet.

when you end up in a situation where your invited guests are uncomfortable, and especially at your kids wedding events..and its because a number of ppl just showed up, then you have a right to be upset, and yes you have a right to ask someone to leave.

if people are asking, and I know I have invited 200 ppl and know I can flex +/- 15, i can say okay to some ppl and tell the others listen its a per plate thing, we gave them our numbers that what they are planning for and having additional ppl will be a logistical challenge.

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Toh itna naraz honay key kia baat hay. Ghalti lag gai, post k selected hissay perh k jawab likaha tha main nay.
Only a village idiot will do that what you wrote about bringing a man in all women party. :p