Guys im really confused… My boyfriend has recently gone through a period where he has lost his job and his family situation isnt great either.. so last month he asked me for money and I gave it as I felt bad. But this month he again said borrow me some more money and il pay you back! .. i gave it but i feel this is gonna become a habit as he may become dependent.. he has previously borrowed from family and told me about it but I have always had the view that money should not be borrowed before marriage… Am i right or am i just being iffy?
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Bara hi bayghairat insaan hai.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Forget about marriage…you two aren’t even engaged!!
He told you about occassions where he borrowed money from his family. Did you ever tell you that he paid them back?
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
He told me he paid back his uncle and brother so yeah.. but it just feels wrong that he has asked me.. and as you said paheli- we are not even Engaged yet!!.. I admit my mistake- i should have said no in the first place but I genuinely felt it would be a one-off ocassion...
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Bara hi bayghairat insaan hai.
:(
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with borrowing money if he truly NEEDS it, and you have the money to spare.
Did he actually tell you why he needed the money the 1st and the 2nd time?
Until he pays you back **IN FULL **the amount he has already borrowed....do not lend him any more money.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with borrowing money if he truly NEEDS it, and you have the money to spare.
Did he actually tell you why he needed the money the 1st and the 2nd time?
Until he pays you back **IN FULL **the amount he has already borrowed....do not lend him any more money.
He did tell me why he needed it both the times.. but second time, he sort of just said borrow me money.. there was no asking involved... Your right.. I am not borrowing any more money- especially til i get other money back.
My main fear is that he may make this a habit.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
but second time, he sort of just said borrow me money.. *there was no asking involved... *.
Ah.....so the 2nd time he had an expectation that you should/would just give him the money. Major red flag in my opinion.
No matter what his reason is....do not give him a single penny until he pays you back in full.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Guys im really confused... My boyfriend has recently gone through a period where he has lost his job and his family situation isnt great either.. so last month he asked me for money and I gave it as I felt bad. But this month he again said borrow me some more money and il pay you back! .. i gave it but i feel this is gonna become a habit as he may become dependent.. he has previously borrowed from family and told me about it but I have always had the view that money should not be borrowed before marriage... Am i right or am i just being iffy?
The guy seems to be a bit of a loser. He is unemployed and seems like even when he is employed he will struggle with money. He has nothing to offer you. You don't seem to be too keen on him anyway as if you really liked him then you wouldn't be worried about giving money to him. Deep down you know that he is a loser.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
well you dont' know what difficult times he's going thru. doesn't mean he's automatically a loser. but if you do lend him money, make sure you know what he is doing with it, and he has a viable plan to get back in the game. i'm assuming since he's your fiance, you know he's not a dud.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
I'd be kind of embarrassed asking for money from someone. Even if its family. But that's just me. I guess the only thing you can do now is just tell him how you feel. Nothing wrong with that. I hope it wasn't a huge amount?
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
In today's time, people who ask for money are the least dependable .. I say you refuse him politely the next time he asks for more. Its easier for people to ask for money and the hardest to pay it back. Fact!
Also , money is one thing that always affects a relationship, be it partners, friends, family .. therefore be careful in your money dealings with people who you dont wanna lose in life.
Any intelligent person would keep some money aside from their income , for emergency times. Clearly he hasnt done that and he's also got a history of asking for money from family and friends .. that would make me highly suspicious of his intentions.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Any guy asks his girlfriend / fiancé / wife for money, is distressing. That means he can't even handle himself or his family can't even take care of themselves, how will he take care of you?
I'm old fashioned I think men should never ask a lady for money, they should never be in a position to do so in the first place.
He should have some self respect and dignity.
You know asking this question here illustrates that you know it's wrong. You should be supportive of his situation but no money should be given.
There are so many people in hardships right now. My husbands sister, husband and 3 kids became dependent on my husband and my fil to provide for them for over 20 years!!!! It started off small and snowballed to the point where it was expected. Seriously when my fil passed away my husband couldn't continue to do any longer, it was like watching crack addicts become clean!!
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
seems like a habitual borrower..kabhi uncle tau kabhi family tau kabhi tum .. please save yourself from this person
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
well you dont' know what difficult times he's going thru. doesn't mean he's automatically a loser. but if you do lend him money, make sure you know what he is doing with it, and he has a viable plan to get back in the game. i'm assuming since he's your fiance, you know he's not a dud.
Good post.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
It is often joked that if a man wants to break up with his gf, he should start talking about his financial problems and it will make her run in the opposite direction faster than he could've imagined. There are few turnoffs bigger than this, for women.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
omg....wasn't there another thread like this recently?
just don't do it.
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
It is often joked that if a man wants to break up with his gf, he should start talking about his financial problems and it will make her run in the opposite direction faster than he could've imagined. There are few turnoffs bigger than this, for women.
Bahoot khoob...Applause!!
Re: Partner-to-be borrowing money?
Yeah. Its only girl’s privilege to ask for gifts and dinning from BF even if they are in serious relationship. He should have turned towards his parosan for help in time of NEED. Whatever happen to “equality of men and women” cause. I guess that’s only applicable when its going in favor of girl?
and to OP, its OK to help him but make sure it does not turn into unnecessary habit. If this goes for long, its hard to see how will you both “settle down” after marriage.
Iffy situation.
If he truely needs the money,
1 - he should have asked your parents, unless it was your own money, then there isn't any fault in helping him out, considering you're "partners-to-be". but I would let someone in my family know, before hand, of what's going on.
2 - wanting to help someone is human nature, just be careful and don't let it become a habit.
3 - assuming the worst won't help. I'm sure he was in need of help other wise he wouldnt have asked for it. Think about it, when you both are married, if he's ever in a financial bind, wouldnt you want to help him?
4 - as far as they amount, that's up to you. If you feel you can help him with out putting your self in a bind, go for it. If you feel a certain amount "might" be too much, think twice before making a decision.
Things happen.
As long as he pays you back and, like Queer said, has a plan so he wont be needing to borrow again, or as often, help your bf out. But still, I would def let at least my parents know.