This will turn the *guns and artillery *toward me but what the hell?
STOP making your kids life more complicated and DEPENDENT on things like birthday celebrations, year in, year out. Their life will get harder anyway, they don't need to worry about celebrating birthdays as a MUST have to live their life. In this materialistic era, do something that will help them face life and teach them to be as simple as possible. Many Desi families celebrate birthdays religiously, with mindless, reckless spending, and restaurant reservations. If you must show your kids how much you love them and care for them then give them a nice gift of value, save for them instead of this nonsense every single freaking year. And if you feel that since OTHER kids do it and they see OTHER kids birthdays being celebrated and that might effect them negatively then just do the damn deed IN YOUR HOUSE among your family and not trouble other 50 people in hopes to get cheap gifts.
I agree with this.. I so do. I am having my son's first bday soon at home with just 10 people... most of them my husband's friend who have never been invited before at any ocassion.
I have friend who recently had her daughter's bday party (in Pakistan) and it was just wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much. I only saw pics of her party and from what it looked it was all just crazy crazy barbie... princess stuff and the girls were wearing all these small off the shoulder dresses ... strapless tight fitted stuff.. i was totally shocked. But maybe their parents are comfortable with their daughters wearing all of this and having these supermodel, barbie, princess parties.
Only thing I am realizing these days talk to your children about everything, make them your friends but loose respect, and don't loose the touch of balance. But talk to your children especially when they hit double digit or when they are 10. It helps them a lot. It gives them protection that their parents are looking after them. Explain them everything, be logical and truthful, don't hide things.
some awesome advice in this thread, from eating, getting kids involved, respecting them.. and also the birthday party dilemma
I guess one other thing I can add (and its prob has already been said is), as parents, dont try to disagree about something infront of the child. If one parent has said something, and you dont agree… agree for the time being and then discuss it later.
Kids are born munipulators, and this just gives them more of an incentive to munipulate parents against one another
Read to them… if they take interest in something (like science, art, maths etc) encourage them, Regardless of their age. Dont think they are too little or too old for something… if their mind is curious, understand their curiosity and help them learn.
Where they think they are wrong… make them understand that its ok to be wrong and tell them how they can be right. Explain to them, why the other person, or the other scenario is right… and why they may have misunderstood. Dont make them feel dumb. Encourage them, and help them grow.
And, dont ever lie to them. If you have promised something to them. Do it. Dont let them lose faith in you.
i think if you have the money to pay for it, you should go all out and do what pleases you. people get judge-y about others' expenditures far too quickly, and often times it reeks of sour grapes. i'm not saying anyone here is doing that, its just an observation from watching the debate in Weddings.
.
I cant agree with you more. I also believe that if God blessed you with money (that you also worked hard for, not that you found a pile somewhere), you have every right to reward yourself and your family with that. Off course that does not mean that we stop taking care of people around us, but this is also the fact that people who can afford to throw most lavish parties are also the people who are the biggest financial supporters of local mosques and churches and temples. People who are frugal at home are usually more frugal when it comes to charities and donations.
Be buddies with your kids. I take my girls out to lunch often and we chit chat about stuff...everything from boys !!] to rocket science. But keep that fine line between friendship and control.
^ Oh yes! I have plenty of personal, sometimes late night chit chats with my boys (and they usually involve plenty of cuddling!).They may not be about the same subject matter as they would be if I had a daughter, but still, like Niks said, it's about that fine line between friendship and control.
^ lol... I am not too sure how different the conversations could be either though. Easter Eggs, Toys, school, friends, God, babies are cute.. random stuff :)
^ lol, I mean that my boys are not interested in talking about crushes (yet!), or clothes/fashion/makeup..you know, girlie things....we usually have in depth chats about Legos, football (dallas cowboys fanatics just like their mama!) and other "manly" things, lol! But yes, religion, culture, morals, etc are the same regardless of the gender the child is.
I used to have a shop with lots of pretty, breakable things for sale on open shelves. A mother came in with her 4 year old son, and she said, "Oh, these are very delicate things! Hands in your pockets. I've got my hands in my pockets -- we can look with our eyes not our hands." And the little boy immediately put his hands in his pockets to keep them from (very naturally) reaching out to the breakables. It was very effective. I wish I had taught that trick to my son at an early age!
I used to have a shop with lots of pretty, breakable things for sale on open shelves. A mother came in with her 4 year old son, and she said, "Oh, these are very delicate things! Hands in your pockets. I've got my hands in my pockets -- we can look with our eyes not our hands." And the little boy immediately put his hands in his pockets to keep them from (very naturally) reaching out to the breakables. It was very effective. I wish I had taught that trick to my son at an early age!
^I agree to that chachi. we also broke some parenting norms but in the result of that are blessed with very very emotionally secured 10 and 7 years old girls.
we don’t drink soda at home, we have limited our soda intake outside as well. At home it is water,oj/apple juice, or laban/lassi. I give my son lassi in his sippy cup.
