I like to request all the parents to share tips, not necessarily to help others become better parents - but things/practices that they found out to be helpful in raising their kids or making the daily life easy.
We often go on long trips and realized that our kids, after couple of hours, started to get restless in their car seats. The reason, I figured out was nothing more than dangling feet (raise your office chair to height where your feet cant touch the ground anymore and you will find out within 10 minutes that how uncomfortable it is to sit like that). We bought 2 foot stools and they sit on the floor in front of their car seats. We bought appropriate height stools so even if they are resting against the back of the car seat, their feet are firm on the stool. Foot stools also help them to get into their car seats easily in our minivan, as they serve as stepping platform. Believe me that it made a huge difference. They are less tired and less cranky after the end of a long journey.
From day one, I made sure that the kids ate whatever we ate! That means no making seperate meal that are less spicy, not desi etc...I am not a short order cook! I have a 5 bite minimum rule. You must take at least 5 bites, chew and swallow before you are allowed to leave the table. If you choose not to eat what is cooked, too bad...so sad. Staying hungry one night will not do any harm!
Alhamdullilah, all three of my boys are foodies...especially desi khaana foodies. Ibrahim & Ammar would eat nihari & haleem every day of the week if I let them. They like to dips slices of kacha pyaz in the nihari and eat it..lol! And Jibran is a self imposed vegetarian..he eats very little meat...his favorite meal is daal chanwal, daal roti...daal anyway he can get it....I've learned that kids actually have very sophisticated palates...there is no reason they can't eat like we do from an early age on....
don't sweat the small stuff. babies pick up on emotions very quickly and a stressed mommy will lead to an anxious, unhappy baby. having mine has forced me to shake off any little irritations and annoyances in day to day life and adopt a more cheerful, positive outlook.
be active. the more active a life you lead, the more interested your kids will be in running around, doing things, and not just sitting in front of the tv and vegging out.
involve your kids in everything- if you like to cook, let them watch. if they're older and can participate, let them. same with cleaning up around the house and cleaning their room.
Don't lie to them and treat them with respect and as individuals. If you tell them you will do something, then do it. Follow through with your words so that they know they can rely on you.
Start giving them responsibilities from a very early age and involve them in everything you do, including house chores and 'fun' activities.
know that as a parent you are doing your best and as a parent PLS remember your parents did the same.
Treat ur family members and your inlaws with respect, kids pick up your obvious and not so obvious attitudes.
If u see urself getting agitated, frustrated with your kids, time to take a break even if it is a few hours. Get a family member, get a baby sitter. Do what u can ur kids will see and feel better with a refreshed you.
Do what you would like your kids to do instead of telling them what to do. This starts at a very very early age. So be careful.
You dont like a pushy person do you? Then dont be pushy with ur kids, they really are smarter than we give them credit for. If a kid says no to a food or action, let it go. Let the kid come to it himself or herself and they do come around to it.
Set boundaries but let them loose as well. If ur friends have older kids or no kids instead of always expecting ur kid to behave meet ur friends in a park so ur kids can be kids.
my kid is my priority.. I dont care if the house is clean or food is cooked or the phone calls have been returned, when he is awake and I am home.. I spend every minute with him. I want him to know that mommy will always be there for him and he should never ever think that I am too busyf or him.
and just recently, I have started the "I dont want to say no to him" for unncessary things...I sometimes say "no" for things like thumb sucking, pulling hair (he just discorvered his ability to pull things towards him), and then I re think and evaulate how could I have stopped him from doing so without saying no... its hard but I try! I want him to learn that when mommy says no, she means it.. its not something that she says all the time
and books.. my parents never thought for a second to spend money on books, neither do I.. I havent bought him toys (most of them are gifts) but books, I buy them weekly after giving up the money that I used to spend on my lunch at work..its my present to him!!!
when dealing with babies and little kids, remember that they're babies and little kids. sometimes if he's being naughty like opening and slamming the drawers on our tv cabinet and i go to discipline him, i remind myself that he's not even 10 months old! he's not being naughty, he's being curious and its pretty fun for him. so rather than telling him no, its all about pulling him away from it and distracting him with something else, and then childproofing the cabinet drawers. gotta discipline kids according to their age and their intellect.
Murphy's Law - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"
Be prepared. (like soldiers for battle). I often call mothers warriors.
When you become a parent you trade in your cute little clutches for a giant trendy tote which should include emergency food/snacks, emergency entertainment, a $50 dollar bill, a change of cloth that can fit you and the kids. Also carry diaper wipes well beyond the diapaer days for ketchup disasters, public restrooms, hugging all the "cute" dogs at the park. Note also good for cleaning up mascara when you have tantrum because of the tantrums.
Mornings are rough enough but having to gather everything makes them that much more annoying.
So the night before I go to bed; I iron and lay out the kids' clothes for the next morning.
pack lunches the night before and have thier bags ready and by the door for the morning.
Anything else that you know you'll need to get them out the door efficently.
We used to wait up at 6:15 to leave at 8am...now we get up 7am and that too in a leaisurely pace. Best Idea I ever read...
^ hahahah! nice! i'm gonna have to do that with the kiddo too although he gets most excited when he sees a cup of tea in someone's hands. #pakistanithroughandthrough lol
Mornings are rough enough but having to gather everything makes them that much more annoying.
So the night before I go to bed; I iron and lay out the kids' clothes for the next morning.
pack lunches the night before and have thier bags ready and by the door for the morning.
Anything else that you know you'll need to get them out the door efficently.
We used to wait up at 6:15 to leave at 8am...now we get up 7am and that too in a leaisurely pace. Best Idea I ever read...
i think u r doing far too much for them. get them involved in all this and teach early on the responsibility for their stuff [disclaimer: i am not a parent]
i knw this from my mom who did everything and v grew up quite selfish and once v saw how hard she worked v realised that v needed to take care of mom too.
we had no idea how much our mom did for us so i think its good to let your kids c what you do and help out especialy with things like school bags.
