Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
I totally agree with you!
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
I agree with shikra here for some bits.
I will take my own example. I would have married a spanish or any non pakistani girl only only if we can share same cultural. Its amazing to see and experience other cultures, but I think it would be too hard for her to adopt completely differnt family cutlures, etc etc, she may get along well with me and me with her.
but the only thing will happen our families or culture will start to stay apart. it may suit a couple who just live their own life, but if families are also a integral part then it will create problems.
I dont think its to do with relegion when it comes to Pakistani with other guy or girl.
for this specific example I know one brit born Pakistani guy who fell in love with scotish lassi, got married, family allowed them.
got 2 kids. you know what? now his family is fine with gori, but he is in to Pakistani girl now. and marriage is in chaos. both families are trying to fix this but he is not much interested.
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
This is the first time a thread I started has gone beyond three pages 
Shaks, that’s nice about your friend and all, but the fact that he’s disinterested in his wife now is rather indicative of his own shortcomings that have nothing to do with the interracial factor. This could very well be two desi women, instead of a scottish/desi woman at the center of it…
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
:halo:
sara_zzz what is so bad about listening to ur parents? listening to ur parents doesnt necessarily mean ur gonna be doing everything they ask u to do… parents can advise u and guide u, and then let u make ur own decision… i dont see the harm in that at all..
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
Sara reminds me of me when I was 14, 15ish......
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
Sara from what youve written,I think you are assuming that girls who marry non pak chaps do so without their parents blessing..... not always so!
one other thing, you appear to equate people who consider their parents advice or follow their parents advice..... as perhaps a little pathetic.
I would just like to point out that these parents (your's too)are adults who have lived life, made mistakes, learnt from others etc.
and all theyre are doing is to trying to help their kids not make any perceived mistakes.
its not because they are crazy and controlling, its because they love their kids and its the only way they know that they kids will not make a mess of their lives.
on this particular issuen, most parents will see a great deal more negative points in a mixed race marriage and therefore advise against it.
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
haha..
i know my parents have been through everything, but sometimes i really dont believe their point of view is right. whats wrong with me making my own mistakes?? if it has to do w/ any thing bad like drugs etc than i would listen and thats when parents really have to be strict. but since my mom nags me all the time, i kind of stoped paying attention (yes im a bad kid i know) .
i dont want to be 25 and have my mom making my decisions for me.
- howd i make it sound like ppl who marry non- pakis do it w/o their families consent.
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
^^^if your dear mammy and pappy are right about things like drugs.......... how do you know they are not right about other issues?
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
all i think is more cross culturel and diff ethnic marriages end up having probs for some lame reazons but its not always the same … i personaly think it all lays on how loyal one is or how devoted one is to keep their relation-ship strong … and no offence but ive seen mostly other race then brown ppl causing more troublez … may be i m just rising brown ppl since i m one. but talkin abt my ownself I NEED MY DESI FLY CHICK 
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
yea i agree to some extent it can be desi/desi too. but i think they have worked hard to save this before, adopting both cultures of eachothers family, naming kids in dual meaning, both has worked hard before for this. by doing all this they have lost interest.
only because of this hardwork I will not opt for cross racial marriage. both has to give too much time to understand each culture/customs, this time they may have spent with eachother just for themselves.
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
From my experience, most of the problems in a cross-cultural marriage come from the desi side's family, mother in particular, meddling in the marriage. Most pakistani elders that I have met have no sense of personal space or "it's not my business, unless they ask for help."
Shak, all marriage is hard work. Guys who cheat usually would have done so anyway, regardless of who they were married to.
In desi culture (hindu and muslim) the family is considered to be a minor god, with the idea of khuda majazi and so on, and a lot of determining who someone will marry comes down to the idea of control. I don't think parents deliberately set out to control their kids, but it's definitely a subconscious "don't move away from the cultural norm" attitude, which is much stronger than anywhere else I've seen, and really goes against Islam.
In Islam, Prophet Muhammad (saw) stressed on several occasions that people should look outside of the tribe to marry, in order to strengthen the Ummah. In addition, Islam does not recognize the caste system. My dh has a friend who is an Indian muslim, and when my dh asked what caste he was (rajput, jatt, etc.) he said that if he had a caste, he would be hindu. Apparently Indian muslims do not recognize the caste system, and if someone claimed to be rajput, everyone would know that they were hindu. My dh was just like - umm, have you been next door to Pakistan, everyone has a caste!
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
Is that what you were brainwashed into thinking?
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
Ditto on the personal space thing. Desis seem to lack the concept of ur body is ur own business (people bugging u to have kids etc) or private lifes. It’s assumed that if we need privacy, we must be doing something wrong 
However, it’s not really fair to blame all mother in laws. And what is DH? Just out of curiosity, I may have missed it before, are you a white convert?
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
yeah what is a DH?? i think its something husband..
desi people love to meddle in other peoples lives.. my "friend" dont really like her anymore, but shes a soph/junior in a comm college, and she keeps giving people unwanted high school advice, and makes it sound like she's still in hs (get over it!!! your in college !!!) and she constanly gives me compelelty unwanted college advice, and disses just about everyother college except berkley. ugh it pisses me off.
- than ive seen relatives ask when my cousins' other side cousin was gonna have a kid, cus being married for 5 years and not having a kid, is a bad sign .. lol.
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
you really need to open your eyes…most men in pakistan cheat on their wives… in fact its well known in karachi for men to have their wives sitting at home while they go out with their younger girlfriends all over the town…
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
how can you think that paki/indians are the only ones that practice islam? i’m part paki and part turkish and my turkish half practices islam more then the paki half
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
^ cus they all think theyre the best!
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
I’m gettin sick of this “we’re better than them!” attitude among desis. Wake up. Title of “Best Muslim” or even “Better Muslim” cannot be exclusive to one country. I’ll bet we’ll have desis fighting about who’s better, Paki Muslims, Indian Muslims or Bengalis… Albanians/Turks follow their culture just as much as we do, and that’s why the majority of them seem to be unpracticing Muslims. The same goes for us desis. We tend to value our culture over our religion, even if religion outwardly prohibits something. I’m not saying black Muslims are the best or Arabs are the best, or whoever, but it’s really stupid to just say that ur countrymen are hte best Muslims…
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys…
WEll Paki women are women, last I checked…they actually go with non-pakis all the time. Expanding horizons among other things.. :k:
Re: Paki women with non-Paki guys....
The problem with some pakis is that they tend to think they are the best Muslims and everyone else are just kufar. I've heard it here soo many times, persians think they are muslim, turks think they are muslim, arabs think they are muslim, nope no one is a Muslim only pakis.