Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
81

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Some of that planning will also depend on your bahus.... no?

82

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I'm not referring to this thread per say (although some of the things mentioned in this thread have been mentioned elsewhere). There have been several threads and blogs with people commenting on lavish weddings and how wasteful, pointless, etc. it is to have a lavish wedding because the guests don't enjoy it and all that jazz.

83

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I’ll also be one of the odds one out but I love attending lavish weddings lol! Then again maybe it is because I don’t attend many weddings. I agree with Mezhgan…maybe it is the attitude of the hosting parties?

I personally can’t stand the dholki/singing part. (:tomato:) …I’m more all about the dancing.

I would LOVE to attend an intimate wedding, sadly no one I know plans to go that route.

84

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Yea, it will depend on the bahu rani’s as well, but I hope my boys find themselves someone are like minded…

85

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I guess my pet peeve is that in my city I average about 3-4 wedding invites in a season and lately they all have been the exact same format...the same social circle with each trying to one up the last one.

86

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

This was in regards to the garter "ceremony".

87

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Traditionally, Pakistani weddings have always been about familial fun, raw excitement and blend of apparent joy and hidden melancholy, and depending on what type of lavish weddings you attend, certain lavish weddings lack these features. Everything feels too stiff and ceremonial. Besides, the whole idea of big fat white wedding is also on decline in Western countries, so people in general prefer minimalism over extravagance these days. However, many Muslims tend to not like lavish, over the top in your face luxurious weddings on religious basis and there's nothing wrong with that in my eyes. We all have our own taste and preferences.

88

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I've attended many segregated weddings ,and almost always the bride and groom will make an 'entrance' together in the ladies area. Groom will then retreat to men's side.

OR

In a segregated wedding, the groom will enter the ladies side, and will sit with his new bride . Every moment between the two is met with ohh's and ahh's and giggles from the women.

89

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I think at this point the most out of the box wedding would be the kind of weddings our parents had…that geometric tent with a note-on aur phoolon wala haar :hehe:

90

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Wow, so no speeches, slideshows, dances, etc. So what do guests like at weddings these days? I agree you don't have to one up each other in terms of being overly lavish. BUT, what is considered entertainment? In my eyes this is a day where the couple celebrates their union, and it only makes sense to take a look back at your life journey leading up to this big day as you start a new chapter. If speeches, slideshows, skits, etc are overdone, then how else should couples celebrate this big day? I mean if all of these things are getting repetitive, then do people just want to show up, greet the couple, eat, and leave? How can someone make their event different so their guests aren't bored while still being memorable and special?

91

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Just personal preferences.. shouldn't take this stuff too seriously..

One of my pet peeves is seeing brides dressed up like Xmas trees.. but to a lot of people a bride draped in red and gold is really beautiful and it's thought that's how they should look..

I wore cream and minimal jewellery.. Am sure some people would have hated that or called me a western wannabe lol

92

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I think what irks most people is when the wedding becomes an OTT production and feels contrived.

Should a wedding have:
- speeches
- dancing
- music
- entrances
- pretty decorations

Sure it can - to each his/her own and what makes you happy. But I would suggest moderation and tastefulness and genuine celebration over a micro-managed and orchestrated wedding shudders

93

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I reckon in 20 years time the first dance will be happening at loads of desi weddings.. People might look back at how we think now and view it the way some of us look back at the sad brides on the stage at old traditional weddings.. We'll look like prudes saying 'I hate this modern trend of girls and boys dancing' :D

94

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I am a guy so maybe my perspective is different. But photo slideshows are incredibly cringing. Noone I saw ever looked at them. Again noone is stopping the couple from doing it but well. :/ Same with speeches, which are full of lame jokes noone finds funny and everyone loses their concentration in about 5 seconds.

Again not to say that people who go to such weddings don't have a good time but I have been to weddings that had none of that and everyone liked them.

Those old tent weddings in Pakistan....now that was awesome.

95

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I think one way around the slideshows is to play them last, usually after dinner. By that time, the extra folks have gone home and it's usually just close family remaining who probably would enjoy the look back far more than the distantly related/casual guest.

Of course, ideally, you'd only invite your near and dear folks but that will never happen at desi weddings. Sigh.

96

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Why do weddings have to be "entertaining"? Why can't they be an occassion to get together and talk and mingle? No one does intimate personal weddings anymore, including mehndi events, and if I'm going to someone's wedding who I barely know, I don't want to be "entertained" by random people gyrating for my pleasure, or looking at pictures of people and not recognizing who they are. All of that entertainment factor IMO should be left for those who will actually enjoy it, ie their friends and family members.

As for speeches, first no one actually stays for them. Second, everyone talks about how amazing the couple is, what hard worker the son is, and what a good girl the bride is. That's boring! Some of my favorite moments from speeches have been tid bits I would never have known, like how the couple met, or some cool knowledge about the family's background (eg "did you know our family's not completely desi? We've got 50% Scandinavian blood!").

Oh, and my least favorite speech moment has been "Hey bride, did you know in 6th grade the groom helped me hide my ripped jeans when I fell from the tree, and saved me from a beatin?" Like why do I need to know that? Why couldn't you just tell the bride at a post-wedding dinner? Or at any other occassion.

97

There should be a difference between a wedding, and a staged production. That is all. After that, do whatever you want to, but in moderation, and within the limits of our culture and tradition.

98

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

So you’re saying no to “You may halal-kiss your bride?”

considering how traditional nikkah is done where the brother/dad takes the permission from the bride for the haan, does that mean the groom would kiss the bhai and that kiss would be passed on?? :eek: :hayaa:

99

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I always think that people attend wedding for one reason only.... i.e. food. No one remembers or cares about other things at least the men folk.

BTW a different concept would be the dancing on Naseebo Lal's songs instead of Umrao Jaan types.

I mean that would be a sight when girl(s) dancing on Gilli Kurti te Silay Silay Vaal ve... Kenday Lag Ke Khlo Ja Mere Naal Ve *:D*

100

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

How gayistic! There is plenty of time for kissing afterwards, the bride won’t die of hunger or thirst if she is not kissed at that moment :smiley: