Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

[Mezhgan]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

@Sehrysh

Okay, so I went to a mehndi where there was a cousin of the bride who had taken proper khattak dance lessons, put on a dance number. She danced to some old 1960s mujra song while wearing ghungroos. And of all people, her aunts, uncles, parents went up and did nichawar with money.

All I could think was - am I at a khottah and is she a nach-ne-wali

@Sara516

wellllll if you kind of forget the roots of it (mujra etc), I’ve seen some of those old school mujra dances and costumes and they were really nothing compared to the typical bollywood dhoomka and naach that you see today. But I can imagine, if you know the history and connotation behind it, it would look creepy lol

A couple of years ago, the sister of a friend of mine had an Umrao Jaan (yes, you heard right) themed mehndi and wanted the guests to dress accordingly.

Given that I read the actual novel and is a bit darker than the Bollywood version, it all seemed so strange to me. Needless to say, no one listened to her.

[Reha]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

@S02

The big entrance of your hosts with announcements. Not a fan.

Yes, one entrance I had to witness was so long…people started looking for appetizers.

@Sehrysh

Okay, so I went to a mehndi where there was a cousin of the bride who had taken proper khattak dance lessons, put on a dance number. She danced to some old 1960s mujra song while wearing ghungroos. And of all people, her aunts, uncles, parents went up and did nichawar with money.

All I could think was - am I at a khottah and is she a nach-ne-wali And this was a Pakistani wedding.

I agree with sooooooooooo many of the comments above: first couple dance, interminable speeches which weren’t funny), picture slideshow, tacky Bollywood poses, Bollywood dance numbers - weddings are a production now - the joy of celebration seems to be sorely lacking in the oneupmanship.

People don’t get married organically anymore…I don’t know why though. There’s no vintage charm anywhere. When I look at my mom’s wedding pictures…I am envious. She wore barely any makeup, a simply Lucknow style gharara made of kamkhwab and had her wedding in a shamiana in the 70’s in KHI. She looked amazing and was the picture of beauty Mashallah.

Nowadays, its just not there anymore…we have functions that are very glittery but due to headcount and so many other factors…end up lacking in personality and intimacy.

[ninjamummy]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

OMG did that actually happen?? Was this in front of just the friends or the entire guest party?

And who in their right mind would let someone smear cake over their makeup after paying $700+ for it! I would be so infuriated if that happen.

Yes, this actually happened, why would I post it otherwise.

Took place in TX.

Happened in front of many of the guests, not just family/friends. Sad part is the brides side are fairly religious , was so sad to see such a cheap spectacle.

[soconfused]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

yeah smashing cake on faces, I've seen too and it's weird. I'd be pissed.
I really don't like the new trend of bride/groom having choreographed dances at the mehndi/walima. It's awkward. Everyone knows that they were talking to each other before the wedding/hanging out but it's just so odd to see the bride all out there strutting her stuff and dancing in front of everyone. Maybe I'm too traditional.

I also really don't like the longgg drawn out entrances. I would hope that most people coming ot the wedding know who the bride's mother/father are and don't need to be reminded when they enter. Whatever happened to the single friend's of the bride walking her out/doing raasmay? Everything is super ott now.

[TLK]

Forget about the first dance, I am speechless about the daddy daughter dance tradition creeping into our weddings.

Wait till you are going to hear the Qazi sahab scratching his beard and telling dulha "you may kiss the bride now" ... or worst "aap dulhan ka bosaa le saktay hain"

[CEO1]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Desi weddings in general. Awful. Its the wife to be who forces the idea I suppose...

[soconfused]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Forget about the first dance, I am speechless about the daddy daughter dance tradition creeping into our weddings.

Wait till you are going to hear the Qazi sahab scratching his beard and telling dulha "you may kiss the bride now" ... or worst "aap dulhan ka bosaa le saktay hain"

I'm all for incorporating western concepts with our shaadis since some of us were brought up here, but I feel like sometimes everyone tries too hard and it ends up being a fail. that coupled with the unspoken rule that you have to spend lavishly to make it "worthwhile". I get doing the nikkah at the masjid, and I like the idea but at the same time, I really really enjoy watching the nikkah at the wedding. It makes it special so it makes me sad that less and less people are doing that nowadays.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Forget about the first dance, I am speechless about the daddy daughter dance tradition creeping into our weddings.

Wait till you are going to hear the Qazi sahab scratching his beard and telling dulha "you may kiss the bride now" ... or worst "aap dulhan ka bosaa le saktay hain"

I went to one of those weddings.

Here was the sequence of dances:

Couple's first dance
Bride with dad/groom with mom
Bride with FIL/groom with MIL
Then couple danced again while each set of ammi/abbas danced with their spouse.

I think it didn't get to each of the MIL/FILs dancing with their samdhan - but maybe that's a possibility at the next wedding :D

[redvelvet]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Don’t know if this has been added before, but…please don’t sing an Indian song that you feel represents the love between the bride and groom. Yes, yes, we get it…you are the baast friend of the bride or the groom and love them to bits and you have this extroverted soul that a wedding will unleash even more. :hinna:… But Jashn-e-Bahara is better left to the original singer, Javed Ali, and the Mughal time period it was made for. Don’t make me cringe at a good song. You can play it…heck play it as an entrance song…but don’t sing it. And if you must sing, keep it short!!!

[Hmmna]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Was just listening to tales of a friend's wedding. It is all one big show off.

[Sara516]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

I dunno, I know i contributed but for the most part, I go to such few weddings (1-2 max) that it's hard for me to judge any of the bride/groom. Then again, I'm kind of close to them, I know I'll judge the hell out of a family-friend wedding where I barely know anyone but for a close friend/relative....i'm less likely to. Hypocritical? Yeah.

Also, i'm not sure why cake smashing is "cheap" and hast o do with religiousness? Just curious.

[somegroovychick]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Those godawful story slideshows of how the couple met or fell in love. Wth. No one cares. I think they're called "love walk" videos? So pointless and egotistical.

I also think think it's time the 5000 photos on stage era ended. It's beyond boring as a guest to sit and stare at the couple on stage- I can't even imagine how bored the bride and groom must feel! Let them mingle and meet and act like the hosts that they are! They might actually get to enjoy their own wedding!

[somegroovychick]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Oh and guest photo booths with those cheese ass props like big glasses or fake toys and boa feathers. Enough already. That was original the first time it was done 5 years ago. Get over it. No one else thinks those pictures are cute/entertaining. It's all so forced. There's nothing spontaneous and genuine about weddings anymore.

[queen_24]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Nikah/Barat bride very confidently and boldly having the eye contact with cameras and videos AND guests around..... laughing out loud....talking too much...... Miss the hayadaar brides... this part can be left for valima.

[Sara516]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

^

[S02]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Oh and guest photo booths with those cheese ass props like big glasses or fake toys and boa feathers. Enough already. That was original the first time it was done 5 years ago. Get over it. No one else thinks those pictures are cute/entertaining. It's all so forced. There's nothing spontaneous and genuine about weddings anymore.

I still love the photobooths. :D

[redvelvet]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

Tiaras. So tricky to pull off. Proceed with caution.

[Ess_Emm]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

@Mad_Hatter

Most cringey things I’ve seen, hmm. I see a lot of girls who won’t stop dancing when everyone’s bored. Like, I have a couple of friends who made everyone look at them dance for like 2 hours at a friends mehdni. When we told them to sit down, they said no the bride WANTS us to dance, she likes it while everyone looked at the floor and clapped their hands. Totally ruined the fun

Don’t…don’t these people sweat? A simple luddi and I’m worried about pit stains on my nice new jora. I would imagine at the end of the 2 hour dance session there would be sweat just dripping from every crevice

@S02

The big entrance of your hosts with announcements. Not a fan.

Like what? “Heeeeeeeere’s the daddy! Heeeeeeeere’s the mommy” type?

@khattichic

3. choreographed, 2 hour long dance presentations, skits (yes skits!) and other bollywood-esque “performances”…whatever happened to free styling and just acting goofy…oh and singing…nobody sings wedding songs anymore

4. i’m not sure if anyone else has come across this, but it’s now “en vogue” in my city…brides and grooms and their dozen closest friends filming a scripted bollywood inspired movie about their “love story” and playing it at the wedding and/or valima…omg..hand me a knife already so I can stab myself in the eye like slide shows weren’t bad enough…

See that’s what I’m saying, weddings are just turning into talent shows. All that’s missing is a dog in a tutu dancing to “inhi logon nay” and Simon Cowell critiquing the performances!

@Sehrysh

Okay, so I went to a mehndi where there was a cousin of the bride who had taken proper khattak dance lessons, put on a dance number. She danced to some old 1960s mujra song while wearing ghungroos. And of all people, her aunts, uncles, parents went up and did nichawar with money.

All I could think was - am I at a khottah and is she a nach-ne-wali And this was a Pakistani wedding.

I agree with sooooooooooo many of the comments above: first couple dance, interminable speeches which weren’t funny), picture slideshow, tacky Bollywood poses, Bollywood dance numbers - weddings are a production now - the joy of celebration seems to be sorely lacking in the oneupmanship.

Oh…mah…goodness =|

@Jolie

Themed weddings/mehendi. It’s exciting to go to a themed mehendi every once in a while, but it seems like every wedding is a big themed production these days. People are trying so hard to appear different, creative and fun that it’s actually getting quite borning. The idea that all guests must turn up wearing costumes, and everyone must wear one particular colour, and that’s it. Wear pistachio green kameez with lime green accent and grapefruit pink shalwaar and burnt orange duppata or don’t bother showing up at our wedding at all.

I hate when people literally dictate what their guests should wear. I’m sorry I don’t fancy wearing a purple outfit to your event, what are you going to do? Call police?

I don’t know…I like the idea of the “bridesmaids” or close girl cousins wearing the same color, like all wear green to the mehndi, but dude what you described is just OTT

@Reha

Yes, one entrance I had to witness was so long…people started looking for appetizers.

People don’t get married organically anymore…I don’t know why though. There’s no vintage charm anywhere. When I look at my mom’s wedding pictures…I am envious. She wore barely any makeup, a simply Lucknow style gharara made of kamkhwab and had her wedding in a shamiana in the 70’s in KHI. She looked amazing and was the picture of beauty Mashallah.

Nowadays, its just not there anymore…we have functions that are very glittery but due to headcount and so many other factors…end up lacking in personality and intimacy.

That’s so very true. Are people getting bored of the normal doodh pilai and joota chupai that they have to do all of this other stuff? I understand walimas can be boring as heck, but why have entertainment coming out every 5 minutes?

@CEO1

Desi weddings in general. Awful. Its the wife to be who forces the idea I suppose…

Haha I think so.

@soconfused

I’m all for incorporating western concepts with our shaadis since some of us were brought up here, but I feel like sometimes everyone tries too hard and it ends up being a fail. that coupled with the unspoken rule that you have to spend lavishly to make it “worthwhile”. I get doing the nikkah at the masjid, and I like the idea but at the same time, I really really enjoy watching the nikkah at the wedding. It makes it special so it makes me sad that less and less people are doing that nowadays.

I’m not a fan of public nikkahs. I think it’s just so intimate. Plus, if you follow through the nikkah word to word, are you also nikkahfied along with the couple?? (I know you’re not, but that was a legit fear I had way back then )

@Sara516

Also, i’m not sure why cake smashing is “cheap” and hast o do with religiousness? Just curious.

I think she meant the garter thing, not the cake

@queen_24

Nikah/Barat bride very confidently and boldly having the eye contact with cameras and videos AND guests around… laughing out loud…talking too much… Miss the hayadaar brides… this part can be left for valima.

I don’t think there is anything OTT or cheesy about a bride being a normal person at her own wedding, and not just a manequinn for the bridal jora and jewellery. Unless he’s doing the Umrao Jaan dance like described above.

@S02

I still love the photobooths.

Me too :sid:

[Jolie]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

@Sara516

I wouldn’t mind wearing a certain color but I’m not going to go crazy or stress out over it.

This reminds me of an incident a while back…at a party for a friend, we were all told to wear black. No big deal right? Except…the night before I went through my wardrobe and realized all my black clothes were really casual like sweats and tees etc. I’m just not a big fan of head to toe black! :halo: I go to so few events that there’s no way I’m going to one in SWEATS!) In a panic I texted the host (the bride’s friend) and told her I don’t have anything, she said “cant you just wear a teeshirt or something?”*
Excuse me? You get to shine in your channel and guchi and gimmy choo, and I have to wear sweats? Girl plz. snap snap snap

*(appropriate response should have been: “don’t worry about it, just come and have fun!”)

LOL. Oh dear. That’s so ridiculous, honestly. Sometimes these bridezillas really don’t think before ordering people around.

@Ess_Emm

I don’t know…I like the idea of the “bridesmaids” or close girl cousins wearing the same color, like all wear green to the mehndi, but dude what you described is just OTT

That I understand. I’ve been a bridesmaid and sister/cousin sister wearing a particular group colour, that I like and have enjoyed. Although I was exaggerating the point in my previous post, but I have a problem with the thinking that all guests or females belonging to certain age group must turn up in one colour. It’s like deciding a uniform colour for the entire group of people. Following such trends once in a while is fine, but it seems as if all weddings come with a particular colour code these days. So really, the novelty factor that once surrounded such trend is now wearing off and this practice is becoming a total cheesfest in my eyes. You can only wear the colour Purple or Pink so many times (yes, the colour purple and I have fallen out big time). I am very particularly about my clothes, I enjoy dressing up, and I have outfits that I genuinely want to wear and wear it in certain fashion, so it gets quite frustrating when I’m not able to express my own style and taste. May sound quite shallow, but hey, this what Pakistanis weddings used to be all about. The whole dictated colour coding fluff has killed the joy of dressing up.

[Jolie]

Re: Over-done/cheesy Wedding things

People actually do that?

I've never seen this done but I imagine it would be rather cringeworthy as most people cannot dance well, let alone dance well in coordination with 20 other people. (No offense to anyone who did this/plans to do this at their wedding). :D

YouTube says yes.

I've never seen anyone one in our immediate social circle do the whole Bollywood choreographed numbers, and this practice is a big no no in our family, but yes, I have been to a wedding where the whole choreographed dance was going on. And needless to say, all that time there was only one thing circling my mind - 'I want my money back'. :D