bari problem
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
Covering your head won’t kill you :halo:
Why don’t you wear a topi when you are visiting someone?
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
First off all its not your fault that you are thinking this way. As Desi girls brought up in west we get this feminism hammered into our head. Things like dont let him tell you what to do or your life your choice and other feminist statements that we hear on Oprah and other media. These statements are correct and true but it depends on the situation.
There are worst husband out there that abuse their wife's, have no respect for them and cheat on them. The feminist statements applies to these wife's that are victims to these extreme situations.
In your case, hey did he tell you to do something wrong or immoral? if he is suggesting you to cover your head what is wrong with it? If you do guess who's life you are going to make it easier. Suppose there is something he does that you dislike or consider it wrong. If you ask him to stop doing it and he listens to you isn't the respect you have for him is gonna increase since he respected your opinion.
know where to draw the line but trust me this issue is definitely not something that worth this much worry.
When you marry some one you combine your life with their life.It's never a perfect match so you and him need to compromise and sacrifice on certain things to make it a perfect match. and trust me this is something he is not going to comprise so you should take the initiative.
and i am sure he is going to realize and respect you more for it!
Good Luck!
Why don't you wear a topi when you are visiting someone?
FYI I'm a female :)
You have answered it yourself. Why cant we respect our religion , culture n our hubby’'s wish? A wish thats nothing but pure modesty he is asking from you.
No wonder ppl in west have gone so ahead of us and we ll be looked at as confused ppl always. Coz we are running after them. The day they started wearing dopatta on their head , i m sure we will do too.
Their lifestyle is far from islamic because they r not muslim 
Theres a difference between a sunnah and a farz! A headscarf is obligatory while a beard is not! Please think b4 u decide to make smart ass comments as such… and my post suggested she compromise rather then give in coz i know being a girl in the west were brought up very liberal and abhor people telling us what to do and sometimes that isnt the best of qualities to have. And yes if the wife likes his beard altho she shudnt force him he shud keep it coz SHE finds HIM attractive in it.. its called giving and taking!!! 
FYI I'm a female :)
and your name is inzi-rocks? You are a fan of a naa-mehrum who is a married man too! tauba tauba...put your du-patta on NOW!
It was already on 
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
well
clearly shes not used to it and does not feel like wearing it.
Adopting a new get-up or behaviour i not as simple as 1 2 3.
I mean if sombody forced me to kepe the beard-----it aint gonna happen mate.
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
There is a HUGE difference between wearing a dupatta for two days while visiting a foreign country you're not a part nor have to deal with on a day to day basis AND being shamed into wearing a dupatta every single day of your married life.
Wearing a dupatta because you want to is different...being guilted into wearing it is different.
If I go somewhere and Im surrounded by vegetarians, I probably wont eat any meat out of respect for them on that particular occasion. I wont be changing my lifestyle or doing anything differently once they're gone though. That makes eating vegetarian food one night totally acceptable. So, posting pictures of Diana or Angelina is pointless because 99.9% of the time, they're actually wearing only half of what you saw.
Her situation is different, she is being made to wear it against her will all the time. I am sure if someone tried to force tofu down my throat every single day because it was important to them I would run out of patience at some point as well.
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
I love how so many people are siding with her husband - “What’s wrong with his request”; “Thank him dearly, becaues he’s saving you from hellfire”. blah blah blah.
I am not clear on whether you entered this marriage KNOWING he expected you to take the hijab, and exactly what you told him. Sounds like you told him you’re not ready for it, but you’ll get there slowly and eventually. He’s not on the same page regarding the timeline.
Is telling your wife to wear a hijab an issue of control or an issue of religion?
Good question.
If it was really an issue of religion, and it meant that much to him truly, he would not have married someone who was not already a hijaabi.
So, I think this sounds more like a control issue.
Just like YOU were wrong in entering into a marriage knowing he was asking something you’re not comfortable with, HE was ALSO wrong in marrying you knowing that you’re not really a hijabi sort of girl.
So, folks in this thread who are getting on Sara Pathan’s case, - please be generous in your criticisms to include the offensive idiotic husband who is insulting his wife in order to get her to wear a head covering, something he KNOWS she’s not comfortable with, and something HE KNEW before marriage as well.
Issues of religion and hijab need to be brought out on the table before marriage. Indeed.
But remember the pressure families are under sometimes in getting their kids married off. So its not a surprise that these sort of issues don’t crop up. In fact, I think its common.
Is it an issue of control? Absolutely. He knows exactly where her boundaries are AND he is pushing them. To see how much she’ll budge for him. Yet another insecure male. 
Sara Pathan, what is my advice to you? Divorce is truly last resort. Don’t even go there, that comes with 10,000 problems of its own.
I say talk to him. Reason with him. And most importantly stand your ground. YOU want to wear hijab, YOU wear it. YOU don’t want to, then you’re not fooling God or anyone - everyone up in Heaven knows you don’t care for it, so why waste anyone’s time with being a hypocrite?
You figure out what you want religiously, and YOU do it. Your gunna does not fall on your husband’s head, and as he is such an INCREDIBLY DEVOUT husband, he should learn this quickly.
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
By the way, those of you guys here who want your wives to wear hijab…why are you not restricting your proposals to hijabi girls? There are plenty of hijabi girls waiting for rishtas - why give a rishta to someone who is not already wearing it?
And then there are these hopes you have of “oh well, she’ll change”, or “well, i’ll convince her of what she needs to do to get into heaven”.
BS. Seriously people. Do things right for once, please, and send out your proposals a little less haphazardly. Quit thinking of how much inheritance she’s getting from Dad, or what visas you’ll be able to get.
^ Well said PCG.
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
Some of you ppl are just so ridiculous. Instead that you encourage her to focus more on saving her marriage, her family, concentrate on increasing the love n trust between hubby n wife, ulta you guys are convincing her that HE, the guy who deserves some position, some respect n CONTROL in house, is controlling her n her life, n he is totally unfair in his demand???????????????
I don’t know how do you guys really work in ur real lives. How successful you all are. I say save families, for god sake we have already enough of bad happening around us. Divorces are happening on trivial issues of life. We do not even know her husband. Who knows may be he is a REAL decent guy. Who knows he had changed his self too for her. Did she herself didn’t know what kind of person he was before tying the knot???? And now when she is already his wife, is it not her responsibility to listen to him and keep him happy? If she cannot listen to his small desire, as small as covering her head in front of na-mehrams, how can anyone guarantee that she will stand by him if God forbid he gets into some major trouble ever in life??????
Why we ppl think that life is a bed of roses? Why do we think that we won’t ever have to compromise and sacrifice to save some relations in our lives that deserve to be given sacrifices?
She can double her love, respect and value in his heart by only listening to his this one demand. Which may eventually turn him into an ideal husband she had always dreamed of? Are u ppl even aware of the techniques how to win someone’s heart?
Before putting negative suggestions here, think at least once that your suggestion may impact someone’s LIFE in a negative way. And who knows that you will be declared responsible for being so irresponsible while typing away your free advises online.
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
can u guys wait until sara_pathan comes back and clarifies her situation before jumping to conclusion? thanks
Re: only married 2 months and feel depressed
FairyTale, I hear what you're saying, and every woman should do what she can to keep her marriage going. But she should not have to do something she isn't comfortable with. Everyone draws their lines in different places, but eventually, there is a line to be drawn.
Normally, it gets drawn before marriage...but...oh well. Some don't.
I don't think you should do something you're not comfortable with to please your husband, and I see no reason for any man to expect a woman to change her religious behavior when he knew prior to marriage that these were behaviors she was already CHOOSING not to institute in her life.
I think both are equally responsible for this. Sad thing is, these issues are so common. Cannot tell you how many couples I know who are now grappling with the hijab issue.
I fail to understand why a man would marry a non-hijabi when he wants a wife that wears a hijab? I just don't get it.
maybe not depressed, but def sad or unhappy at times.maybe im wrong. i dont know. my husband is a nice guy overall, hes 5 times namazi, and all that. he wants me to ear duppatta on y head while im out at other ppls houses in front of men and while im out. he says im his wife and this is our culture and relgious guidance etc
see, im not relgious and him asking me to do this pisses me off and i feel im being controlled. a aprt of me feels hes right and its only a duppata, but another part of me feels like telin him to F off...ok i dono if im wrong pls tel me guys....
hes from pak im from uk
obviously your husband is being a tool...
but you should have at least known that your hubby is a fundo... and you're not religious. these things should be discussed before getting married...