few years ago i wrote an essay for my visual culture course regarding objectivity-subjectivity with a queer eye. i think we were shown the indian movie "fire" for that purpose. I had a chance to discuss this issue with my mother and our discussion trailed us to Pakistani school girls in Pakistan.
shockingly we both came to the conjecture that girls in Pakistan are not closet lesbos, they just lack attention. Parents give preference boys over girls. or if their are too many girls parents just care to less about them.
mirage, may be you are the only person in her life shedding some love, appreciate her on little things, and that is why she find you the only person who can solace her.
i don't know how much good it will bring but encounter her and ask her how rationally she can justify her actions? be strict, harsh and confident. dont let her get on your nerves. suggest her counseling or psychiatric help. dont let your husband to involved cuz she might think that HE is the only who is getting in you way. lol ..or may be you should (if he understand you and wont gonna make fun of you later in the life)
but remember, its really impossible to explain anything to insane girls.
Prep-talk
i have seen women get extremely vulnerable when it comes to their children so imagine you have to fight for your children. either its do or die.
and start sending her Quranic verses, in return for every behaooda text she sends you.
ps. she sent you texts, back in the days they there were behoda letters.
folks, the area I hail from, is very very backward. Most people here dont even know the terms like homo, lesbo and gays. There are such cases here, but they are only natural. This makes me think maybe such tendencies are natural somehow. These girls, who usually live under such strict conditions and wear naqab and all that, do you think they watched same sex porn and got rotten? So we are not talking about the girls who have even a slightest idea of lesbian anti-rape kit and such stuff. maybe to you all this all is a pack of exaggerated lies and fantasies. Being a teacher for 9 years almost has taken atleast one thing from me: telling lies. I dont need to. If i werent actually disturbed these couple of days I would never have come for the advice. Please dont take it as a joke or whatever. I think those who are teachers themselves can understand my situation.
folks, the area I hail from, is very very backward. Most people here dont even know the terms like homo, lesbo and gays. There are such cases here, but they are only natural. This makes me think maybe such tendencies are natural somehow. These girls, who usually live under such strict conditions and wear naqab and all that, do you think they watched same sex porn and got rotten? So we are not talking about the girls who have even a slightest idea of lesbian anti-rape kit and such stuff. maybe to you all this all is a pack of exaggerated lies and fantasies. Being a teacher for 9 years almost has taken atleast one thing from me: telling lies. I dont need to. If i werent actually disturbed these couple of days I would never have come for the advice. Please dont take it as a joke or whatever. I think those who are teachers themselves can understand my situation.
that's true. who knows! she might be just a die-hard fan of her teacher.
exactly zobia, this is mainly lack of attention, freedom, frustration, insecurities and very very less exposure of life outside, inter mingling with opposite gender. But why should I suffer for that? many students come over, share their problems, I am kind to them, console them and they return happy and better persons. But with this girl it is not that Im the only one shedding love in her life. when I said I rarely text her back: those texts are one in trillion times and they are: "congratulations". or "thats nice". I have never even interacted with her to inspire her and all that. Maybe because I was never closer to her, she has supposed I am some divine and goddess like thing. The reason I invited her over is if she gets to sit with me and can talk comfortably, maybe she can understand that Im not a super being. Im very very ordinary person and maybe it will help her come back to the real world. If I get to see its something more than that I will politely tell her stop messaging me since I dont have time to read and reply. I hope she will get it.
^ yes i discussed it all with few of my friend colleagues today aswell. You see I told ya all its so getting on my nerves now. Most of them were doing toba toba with dropped jaws :( one colleague did relate to me there though, having faced nearly same reactions, but even she didnt have any idea what to do. They all laughed, got amused and left.
Sorry luv. I have no idea what to suggest then other than just tell her to back off, but in a diplomatic manner. She probably just is awe of your awesomeness.
On Sunday, make sure someone else is around just in case she jumps your bones.
I doubt she will understands you. but dont worry too much, cuz “Waqt sab sikha deyta hai”. so dont lose too much neurons on her.
but no matter what you have to talk this thing out with her, not just for your own safety but also for your ex-student to not to lose her sanity.
if she admires you she must acknowledge the limit and must draw line afterall this is purpose of getting education and knowledge to define between good and bad.
The problem in Pakistan is girl think that there is no hijab when it comes to women. just look on the TV, when girls call on the TV shows the way they express their gratitude, appreciating clothes, personality its a like a 5 year old is talking. we often neglect these things but i literally find it disturbing where girls have such a limited thinking.
ps. you could use one of those filmy dialogues instead of threating her by changing your number, or informing her parents about her unethical behavior or leaving the town “Kay ager mujhay pasand kerti ho tu mujha say phir kabhi baat mut kerna ”
Milly: Yea I know I have to be polite. I have no reasons to be harsh with her. Im not that ferocious kind. And come on, she is not a monster. I think she will understand. The problem was communication gap. My aloofness maybe excited her. I dont know.
busy: lol I had just had my anniversary. So im not that newly wed
Naabigh: Make it clear, I do not want to insult her or make it an amusement. I dont remember but I think I did tell you about the other girl those days. I dont know but its back when I was at the hostel. Umm 3-4 years back… Remember? Oh you might not. Much water has flowed under the bridge
Dont make me feel Im making her an object of shamefulness here. I just needed some help how to tackle her. And Im thankful to GS because at least I grew courage to face her, talk to her. Im much hopeful she is not the way she sounds like through her sms. She is a well educated and grown up person. Her 9-5 job means she must be interacting with other lot too, you know the mahol of bank and all that. Milly is close to be exact. This is an awe and I hope Im going to fix it. phew.
DDg: Im in the land of the pure. Saada paindu punjab
Yes I have a friend here locally who’s been doing such things a lot. I understand your position. And it’s not like I don’t aprreciate their fondness and all but the thing is that I don’t have much time to respond to long calls etc…and I’ve told her many times that I’m in the middle of something…can I call you back…and other stuff but she doesn’t get it.
Best way to deal with it is to ignore it for a few days. Then one day, text her back and say sorry you haven’t been available. Glad to know you’re well. We will reconnect another time. Something simple and straighforward. Maybe she’ll get the message?
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