my MIL and husband gave me money to get my walima outfit and other clothes. I bought lots of clothes from cynosure for everyday wear about 14, but for formals I prob bought about 9, as I thought fashion is always changing and I want to keep up to date with that, so I have a reason to buy a new outfits! (Plus they knew i was picky lol) However, they also bought me several other suits as gifts with all the matching stuff.
Usually if it's the only son, the barri can tend to be very heavy. I remember seeing my cousin doing that for her brother's wedding, in fact whenever someone wud come over, relatives neighbors etc, she'd take out the big suitcase and show each and every single dress to them. and then fold it back and put them back, it was alot of himmat on her part. but if the groom has more siblings i can understand why hte inlaws give a smaller amount. I know if i'd had the chance, i woulda made a really nice dowry for my bhabhi.. =/
sara.. sometimes being the only son means nothing.. my husband is the only son too... like i said, it all trickles down to what kind of wedding you have dreamt of for your girl or boy... i know my parents are always thinkin oh we will do this and we will do that .... but unfortunately not everyone thinks so much about these very special days. :)
we're doing the standard odd-number joras... mom said its either 9 or 11 or 21... we'll probably do 9 with a couple of sari's and the valima outfit. even then it ends up being really pricey because you have to accessorize properly with shoes and jewellery... in the end, we'll do as much as is affordable and to the best of our ability iA and hopefully she'll like what she gets! i like the concept of the burry because its given with the intention to please and welcome to the family, but being a dulha wala is nerve-wracking too because what if she doesn't like anything??? that would be horribly disappointing and just make us sad :/ i guess its all in the research!
ive read a few posts by you discussing what you plan on doing for your bhabi and its so sweet.. i think you have the right idea and inshallah your bhabi will like what you guys have done for her... your taste is very nice so shouldnt be a problem :)
Re: Number of dresses for wedding
well i gt 65 dresses from groom side ,n i gt 69 or 70 jora's from my mom side
i dnt remeber how many were formal,n casual ones.
but when i use to go for dinners n parties i use to face loadz of difficulties kia pehnu kia na pehnu,
If you work and live in the UK it might be good idea to have some work clothes/shoes/bags as well instead of getting 60 desi clothes
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^ smart idea!
Re: Number of dresses for wedding
^ Yes. My MIL gave me really cute purses for work and everyday use as well as sweaters and tops and pants that I can use at work and home.
in live here in the US and my inlaws are thinking to give me about 15-20 all fancy clothes here in miami we usally have the same group of people at davats and its just lyk pakistan everyone competes to see how has better clothes and zevar and my parents are thinking to give me about 25 pairs of clothes including saris. During my engagment time my sas also bought me about 10 pairs of clothes all heavy kaam wale and different styles so total ill have about 60 pairs of clothes. I hope thts enough.?
That's just like here! I think that's fine enough. Infact here in dawats people wear more kaam walay kapray than in Pakistan. I think it all boils down to what one wants. If you work (I don't) than you wear western clothes most of the day. I wear cotton and lawn at home, western only for going out so I had tons of cotton ones. I actually had to ask for more heavy kaam walay clothes from Pakistan within a year. Also people who buy expensive clothes tend to ahve less of them. I heard of one family ferinds who went back to Pakistan to clothes shop for a wedding and spent a crore ruppess on clothes!!!!
well i gt 65 dresses from groom side ,n i gt 69 or 70 jora's from my mom side i dnt remeber how many were formal,n casual ones. but when i use to go for dinners n parties i use to face loadz of difficulties kia pehnu kia na pehnu,
wow!! Is your husband the only son?
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^eastern, he has 3 more brothers but his number comes second.
I had a total of about 25 dresses made. most were part/semi formal. ive worn half of them only once!
Re: Number of dresses for wedding
salaam all..this is Fatima here...not really a new member but i rarely use internet so hardly login here...
I also recently got nikhofied...and waiting for rukhsati , i guess its not the matter of 25,65 or 100 dresses...
it depends on individual mentality and on how social is ur family.. some families donot attend much gatherings..and in some families every 2nd day its a get together or something ,u can even buy cheaper dresses so no prob ov status as well.... either u can buy one dress of 1000 rupees or buy 5 dresses of 200 rupees each..i hope m clear
And yes in my case i would personally make less dresses(heavy ones) bcoz fashion changes every week so i hv seen my cousins making 80 90 heavy dresses jis main se 90% are given to their maids etc (un-touched) just bcoz they r never used or liked afterwards so its better to go choosy for heavy wears and yes u can definitely make more number of party wears or casuals
for beginning one can make 10-12 heavy wear and other ones lighter...that wud be a gr8 start and afterwards u can always buy New dresses accordingly depending upon functions n occassions
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Re the showing other people all the brides outfits, certain pashtuns (my own family included) actually have a specific occassion set aside for this referred to as the 'jora raz' and basically involves all the ladies from the grooms side going over to the brides family and officially presenting the bride with her wedding finery.
They take the rest of the brides new clothes, jewellery etc and show it to everyone (I mean quite literally, at my jora day my mami was actually stood on a chair in the middle of the room holding up hangers of clothes) and then the brides family does the same, every oohs and ahhs over all the fancy new items, dance, sing, gossip etc and that's it. I guess it's just an excuse to get dressed up and drag the wedding festivities out by another day.
We also tend to give waaaaaaaay too many outfits for the bride (I'm talking 70-80 as standard from each side) but that's because traditionally the bride is meant to wear all new clothes from the day she gets married and not take any of her clothing from pre-marriage. This, combined with the pressure of having to show all the outfits at the jora raz, means that both sides of the family go a little over the top with the amounts involved.
Oh, and at the jora event, they show EVERYTHING. I remember going to one in peshawar a few years ago and they were even holding up the bride to be's new toothbrush and socks. Kinda silly. I made sure that nothing but my clothing and some accessories was shown.
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^ Ooh i remember back in 96 fr my cousins wedding they were doing that, showing off the stuff they got for their bhabhi..including the nightgowns 
i dont think that’s been done since though…
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^ I haven't seen the jora raz tradition practiced outside the pashtun community though, and even then it's not done in a lot of families depending on their origins.
"it depends on individual mentality and on how social is ur family.. some families donot attend much gatherings..and in some families every 2nd day its a get together or something "
yes i agree wid u ,,u r point is strong enough saphireeyes..
i gt married a year ago n i did wear mostly more thn half of my dresses it issss depend on the number of parties u attend n all socialism as u said...
after my wedding i hd to attend loadz of parties n other shadi's n all...so i used all my formal dresses there,bout my other joda's they are still in fashion haalaan ke saal bhi hogaya ..... my advice to all galz,never make dreses according to fashion ,make those designs in which u luk adorable, its ur personality which shows ur beauty ,ager ap khud sahi ho to aam apde bhi pehne hon to u ll luk fab in it...
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I'm not married but I think it's sensible if one buys about 25-30 outfits because fashion keeps on changing. 60 odd outfits is ridiculous considering that you get clothes from both sides.